I find more comfort in my solitude than from "friends".

Just as soon as this blows over
Just as soon as we get back under the covers
Just as soon as we get high
Just as soon as we learn to fly
Just as soon as we take a breath
Just as soon as we learn to accept
Just as soon as we have space
Just as soon as we have our own place
Just as soon as we slow it down
Just as soon as we come around
Just as soon as we allow each other to "be"
Just as soon as we can clear out the clutter and see
Just as soon as I stop burning and worrying
Just as soon as he stops controlling and hurrying
Just as soon as we put it into practice
Just as soon as we get active
Just as soon as our hearts speak louder than our voices
Just as soon as we make better choices


What about now?

How can this last forever when forever hurts so much?

Heaven called
Said they were missing you
Said they needed their angel back
Even if he's been dressed in black
But what if I couldn't let go?
What if your love was what made me glow?
How could I resist
The sweetness of your kiss
Knowing now what I've come to know
I could never give that up
Heaven said
They needed more of you than you were willing to give
Said you told them I was your reason to live
Now it's gone
Too late to turn back
Heaven's angel fell into
The arms of a woman he calls "goddess"
A woman who dressed him in black

The darkest eyes and darker hours
Kisses from your lips devoured
You grant me the glow from your crimson light
and name me your Goddess every night
I find myself dreaming and drowning in you
pillows still warm from your body and blankets scented by two
The feeling of your arms and sweet affection
In this room,
Surrounded by you in every direction
This unmade bed where we share our desires
Where our passion burns and our love aspires
Dimmed lights and candles because my lover remembers,
My hair across your pillow,
where my dreams are smoldering embers
This is no longer a foreign place
Your bed feels like home in a different space
Delicate breathing, ambient songs
Your bed is a haven where I feel I belong

I.
Parting is such sweet sorrow
Seems an eternity until tomorrow
Just once I would wish to wake
With total absence of this ache
Time feels like a cruel master
More of it with you is what I am after
My heartbeat slows and is ill at ease
Without love's protection from disease

II.
Give me your last breath
So that nothing goes to waste
Give me your entire self
So that I may know no one else
Give me your last kiss
So that I may know its taste
Give me your soul
So that mine can become whole

There are ways in which the world
can turn things into distant memories
Broken hearts
Dreams torn apart
Worn out pages from weary stories
But our connection continues to deepen
even as the world outside tries to seep in
We don't just go through the paces
Instead we visit all new places
Bathed in this Love
in this light
even on the darkest, coldest night
I stay warm in your arms
In your embrace
and wait for the next moment
when my eyes will adore your face

Deep, velvet darkness summons me
Although she will only tease and taunt
A black cloak of restlessness
Leaving me sleepless and filled with want
So many nights draped in such sweet longing
The taste of your skin on my breath
Hoping that this ache never ends
A dream we share that will surpass Death

Heaven at the tip of your tongue
Hips writhing before you've even begun
Honey dripping off your chin
Lips whispering tales of sin
Wile away the evening hours
Inhaling and tasting her exotic flower
Fill her with your sensual fingers
*******, like half moons, rise
as your touch lingers
Exploring her body constellation
Being inside is your destination
Watch her face as she quietly begs
Force her and tell her to spread her legs
You may never know her ecstasy
But she'll steal the stars to be your fantasy

Here is where it all begins
Back to the wall and in tears again
Feeling confined like a caged bird inside my glass coffin
Singing and pleading to be heard every so often
Oh how this silence, so deafening
Feels safe in its cruelty and listening
No fear and no demands within these walls where I wallow
Just control and defiance and feelings and words swallowed
I swear to myself "This is the last time."
But I prefer broken fairy tales over nursery rhymes
You said "Do what you need to get your mind right."
So I lie in wait on the promise of your fated, fantasy kiss
Here in our stifled and shielded unwedded bliss
Night
.... after night
      .... after night

Your absence leaves me vulnerable
Missing you until the ache becomes palpable
My heart and my mind feel left behind
Because my need for you is a constant struggle
Distance is something we've changed
As our lives have become rearranged
When you're so very close
My heart sighs in repose
But when you're away it all feels so strange

It's too hard to rewrite history
And the future remains a mystery
The more we plan
The more we misunderstand
And the more important what we have is to me
Why not take a look through new eyes
Reveal what was once built on lies
Silence the hurt
For all that it's worth
And pay attention to how quickly time flies
There is meaning in all that we do
Even when it's too hard to look at you
So we can't waste this gift
Let the clouds start to lift
And let our reality be the fantasy come true

True love breaks your heart into pieces like nothing else.

You'll always have your say
You'll eventually have your peace
While I die inside in silence
And choke out my beliefs
Better that I drown
As long as you don't leave
Hanging by a thread
Easier to let it die until it's dead
Anger doesn't even begin
To describe the ****** up state I'm in
Haunted in an attic
Feeling like an addict
Desperate to connect
Even when it feels like there's nothing left
Paint peeling off the walls
Recurring dreams and the engine stalls
Crushed like crumbs beneath your feet of fury
Pushing past my need for time because you're in a hurry
Sick house filled with filthy corners and spiderwebs
Drowning out the voices in my head
All of it (like always)
Would have been better left unsaid
Wasting away like a corpse in this empty bed

This love I feel for you
Designed by what we do
How deeply we believe
The way we give and receive
Speaking in romantic phrases
Passionate tongues in intimate places
Touched by things from memories past
Knowing we were made to last
And as we devour another year
All I can think of is
"I wish you were here."

My Love lies restless
Fevered in his bed
His essence removed
Replaced with illness instead
As I rested beside him
So reluctant to part
The warmth of his face
Stilled my beating heart
Such longing and devotion
His words caress my mind
I'll wish upon the stars tonight
That he will wake
and feel just fine

The way that we wake
A warmth like no other
Disquieting the silence
The voice of my lover
He speaks in soft whispers
Low moans in my ear
Bestowing the sweet words
I so long to hear
"Open your legs"
As he teases and moves
And touches my wetness
That serves only as proof
"Come for me, Kitten"
His *** rising to meet mine
Such penetrating heat
As we ignore the time
Soft, slow and deep
And he melts into me
Morning washes over us
And we fall back to sleep

So hard to ignore the longing
When it starts to take hold
Your arms make me feel safe
and warm me when I'm cold
I hope our hearts will remember
When we forget what we've been told
That when there is trouble
To love even harder, heart and soul
I will try to remember your fragility
Even now, long before we're old
And keep creating memories
As our story continues to unfold

The moon is breathtaking
Silent and bright
A silver glow
Against the black canvas of night
Still and calm
Full of positive light
And at the same time
A different moon collides
Thrashing and angry
Tearing at my insides
Blood ritual of womanhood
A kind of pain I cannot abide
Retrograde
A lunar eclipse
Nowhere near as meaningful
as standing in the moonlight
Your hands on my wide hips
Whispers
Warm and reassuring
And a kiss from your lips

Your love eclipses everything.

Visions of a better life
A better day
A better love without decay
Room to breathe
Soothing relief
Renewed belief
Something to cure this pain
A magic pill or a drink
Time to think
To see clearly what's beyond
The dreary walls
The haunted halls
Cleanse my mind
of the memories
Something to help me, please

I want to stop ____, but life has other plans.

(What do you wish you could stop doing, but you can't?)

You've written stories with your blood on the walls
So many scars reveal how far you'd fall
And now it's different, it's like heaven instead
Descending deeper into love and in bed

We say we want to die together
To be as one forever and ever
I realize this dream is going to come true
Just **** me first before I **** you

I looked down and saw my blood on your hands
And in that moment I could understand
You'd have me naked and writhing under your touch
I won't protest because I love you too much

Your scars are like reminders of pain and pride
And mine is a reason for me to want to hide
But you don't let me cover what you think I should show
The less I wear the more you want me to know

Burn it into me that I belong to you
Remind me, always, that we'll never be through
But let's play games where I can try to run
So you can hold me down and *******

Distance and longing
Tempered by a sense of belonging
We express such affection
Tempered by love and connection
Dreams like these come but once in a lifetime, if ever
Penned forever
Black paper and inked in silver, line by line
Each precious rhyme
Showing our feverish devotion to one another
As we share millions of kisses and caresses
And count the moments
on the delicate fingertips
of the hands of time

Intensity
The feeling you give me
When your eyes penetrate my layers
Suspended and upside-down like my world
Peeling away my defenses
Making me feel like a little girl
You scan the canvas of my every flaw
Inhibitions torn open and ****** raw
Like a pair of ******* taken off with your teeth
An incredible tease and eventual relief
As you move in for your sensual ****
My body responds to each and every thrill
Intensity
Beyond belief

Dearest love of mine
How I cherish the hours
You open me like a flower
Touching and tasting
Bodies naked and entwined
Each moment spent
Kisses leading to ecstasy
Writhing beneath your deviant need
Coming in floods
That will not relent
My body is but an altar
to your sensuality
As we live and breathe
Inside one another
I cannot imagine another lover
That could ever do what you do to me
Dearest love of mine
I want you to know
I will never let go
The ache would be my death
My heart is yours by design
And I will be yours
Until the end of time

All the time I've spent with you
Still fascinated by our connection
Love has never felt so true
It feels like romantic resurrection
The lights go down each evening
And my heart seeks her other half
Aching for the next kiss from your lips
Waiting patiently for the night to pass
I love you so, my precious man
An ecstatic future lit by moonbeams
Just be with me and hold my hand
And I'll see you tonight in my dreams

When I'm feeling low, I just want to get high.

Your eyes speak to mine
as does your beautiful mind
No one else could ever know
the depth of our dreams
Or the passionate means
by which they were designed
Our future lies ahead
But for now,
we live in precious moments
Treasures like a child might find
Held safe but no longer secret
No longer captive
Because our love is not blind
This present tense feeling
All butterflies and kisses so kind
Has been a long time coming
Our connection remains
a fascinating mystery
Created by a history
that we will never leave behind

When people say
"I'm not out of the woods yet"
It means they're still not healed
Still tangled
Still mangled
Amongst the trees and branches
Roots tripping them up
Pine needles in their hair
Trying to clear a path to escape
Darkness
Blurred stares
Is it an accident that you ventured in?
Was it curiosity that led you out the door?
Circumstances beyond your control?
Or do you continue to amble aimlessly
down the same path of treachery you walked before?
When leaving a trail of breadcrumbs only leads you back to your past
Wouldn't you rather be lost than home safely this time?
Do you heed those warnings and beware of the Big Bad Wolf in the woods?
Do you betray all that is in your head and your heart?
Or do you do as you should?

Waking with a careful start
Mindful of your anxious heart
You speak of things I also feel
I share in your desire
for the dreams to be real
So many thoughts
while confined to my bed
A love never lost
to the pain in my head
So I wake and I rise
Defiant against the pain
Wanting only to feel
Your arms around me again

Sweet and all-consuming
The spell you have cast is looming
Hovering like a halo
over my head
Making me wish
I was back in your bed
The scent of your skin
begins to fade
And the ache between my thighs
where your mouth last laid
Begins to build upon itself
Only you can resolve it
There is no one else
My wanton lust
and my desire for pain
Will not be satisfied
Until I feel you again
Please hear me, my Love
As I beckon to you
I'm holding my breath
Until I turn blue

I.
There are places in you
I love most to explore
Not your body but a journey
Into so much more
Your mind, winding like a labyrinth
Your heart, warm like your embrace
Your eyes, deep green like absinthe
and the beautiful way your love shows on your face

II.
The exquisite feeling
The perfect way we fit
There is no way
to ever replace it
The taste of you lingering on my lips
The wanton lust from deep inside
The way you move between my hips
The way you make it impossible for me to hide

Awake for hours
Before morning breaks
My body never settled
And my heart still aches
It feels like days
Since I kissed your lips
Even though it was just hours
I always feel like this
So I lie here waiting
In the dark
Wishing my head was resting
On your precious heart
Forever grateful
For the time we share
It's hard to not want
And to not always be there
But there's no need
For your concern
I only ache
Because I yearn
For the love of you
And your sensual touch
It's just been one of those nights
When I missed you too much
I'm thankful for you
And the love you give
For our future ahead
And the life we will live

When you feel like crumbling
Let me help you put the pieces into place
Just remember I'm also stumbling
But it's all better when I see your face
When I'm hurting and cannot speak
You draw me out and talk me down
And when you get to feeling weak
I'll remind you of your strength and straighten your crown
Your passion lies within this tattered heart
My only hope is that we continue to fall
I have belonged to you from the very start
My forever is yours and I'll die with you after it all

He pressed forward
beyond the worry
beyond the wonder
endured the pain

He pushed further
past the horror
past the heartache
into the vein

He left his ashes
on the altar
in the alley
near the stone

He cut her name
into the flesh
into the future
into the bone

**** them all
The doubts
The nightmares
Make them go away
To give way
For hopes
Dreams
Sensual scenes of play
My love
You are the breath of me
Living inside
Deep in the breast of me
Forever my destiny
Shudder to think
One could ever destroy
Something so beautiful
Built on words
On chance
And now we passionately dance
Consumed by one another
What was never meant to last
Is all in the past

Aren't you tired of "getting through it" again and again?

The coming of dawn
And my mind lingers on
The set of hopes and dreams
We keep building upon
With every touch of your hand
I better understand
How much of yourself
You give to our plans
These long, quiet nights
Spent bathed in your light
Still living on your essence
Waiting for the time to be right
I want you to know
As we learn and we grow
That your arms are my home
There is no place I'd rather go