A bittersweet memory
You were supposed to be
A distant past, forgotten dream
A name I no longer scream
I thought time was a friend
Someone that will help it end
The feelings I long to bury
Deep in the heart of my memory
I was supposed to give up and let go
Of the man I hardly know
Accept the truth and move on
Erase all of these sensation
But here I still am
Blushing deeply from tame
Everything stayed clearer
As his name I still whisper
Will I ever be free?
Out of these feelings with misery
Let go of the one I've always loved
And whom I can never have?
Ever experience an unrequited love? We all have. What about loving someone you hardly know? Guess not all. Yet unfortunately, I'm one of those people. It started six years ago, my dilemma. I developed a deep infatuation ( Because of the circumstance, I'm still not sure whether this is love or not) toward my former classmate. He used to bully me verbally (Don't get me wrong, I am not a *******); calling we names and stuff. Naturally, my reaction was pure irritation. Then, a friend of mine developed a crush on him and through her... I saw a side of him that was gentle and nice. But because of my friend (who I lost communication now and whose crush never really develop into something more) and because of the fact that he used to make fun of me and I used to strike him back ( I am not a weak girl after all) ... I hid these feelings. Feelings that stayed with me until now.So, can anyone give me some advice? You see, I hardly knew him and since it's been years, surely there are things about him that changed as well. What do you think? What exactly are these feelings? Infatuation or love? It's a little bit mess up..my dilemma.
P.S. When I wrote that poem.. it was pure impulsiveness. I just felt like writing something about him.