And I know you didn't mean anything by it
But you said it
and I guess I was wondering if it could mean something again
Because the second you said it you gave me permission to say it too
But I haven't
You gave me permission to feel it
Though i prayed to God I wouldn't
Every night I prayed
And it worked for a while
But then you said it
And you can't take it back
And i hope you wouldn't want to
But I'm afraid i would if I said this:
I like you
I like you a lot
I guess I just never knew it
I guess I never realized that all those times you asked me who
Or said I need someone
You meant more
And it may not matter now
You've moved on
And I helped
But I wish I could take it back
I wish I never helped
I wish I had realized sooner
I wish you hadn't listened to your friends
But it's too late
The moments past
And I get it
That's what I should say
Instead I just say:
I love you too much to like you
And I think I'm broken hearted
And I know I'll move on
But I hope I never forget you
You can't just say those things and expect nothing to happen
I know I promised to never feel this way
But I'm not so sure if I can follow through
We had conversations discussing why it would never happen
How we both feel the same way
But what if I was lying
What if you're beautiful and I just can't tell you
I know what to do
Turn up the music and turn down the feelings
The problem is. I'm running out of songs that don't remind me of you
My world is divided
Half say "yay"
Half say "nay"
All say "I told you so"
But I don't know what I want
That doesn't matter anymore
The door is closed
The page is turned
And any other cliche about things being over
Because you'll never know
And I'll never tell you
And you'll never read this
because as far as you know
I love you too much to like you

I get it now
Why they call it a crush
Because my heart is crumbled
Like the Coke can in your hand
You didn't mean to
You didn't know I gave it to you
You clenched a fist without thinking
I don't blame you
I know you've felt this way
And caused this pain before
I can feel my stomach
In ways I never thought I would
It's beating like a heart
Maybe because
My heart never beats
Only pounds
And only when I see you
I love when you hug me
But hate when you let go
Because when you hold me
You carry me above the world
But when you let go
I fall

I believe what my ears hear
What my eyes see
And what my hands touch
So here's what I believe:
Your voice soothes like no other sound
It floats on the air
And even when you are saying
The most douchbaggy phrases
You make them sound poetic
And graceful.
I believe you're beautiful
And no matter how many times I deny it
The state of you is constant and shinning
And so beautiful
It brings me to tears.
You're soft.
And warm.
And strong.
And you make me feel protected when you hold me.
As if
Even if we were about to be murdered
I would feel as if nothing was wrong.
And that's what's wrong.

It kills me to know
that you'll never care for me
the way you do for her.
it rips my heart out when
you talk to me in the hallway
but its worse
when you look straight through me.
I want to hate you for loving her better
but that's not fair
because I'm not sure if you loved me in the first place.
If I stopped talking to you
would you send me
late night messages reading
I miss us.
when we were never together?
no.
because we did stop talking
but it was the other way around.
you ignored me
for weeks
and i played it cool
and pretended like i didn't care
when all i did was compare myself
to her
or her
or her or her
or any other girl you seemed to care more for.
I think you are just comfortable
in our relationship
knowing someone will always be there for you
might make you feel as if
they don't need you too
but I need you
and i will need you
and right now i need you to stop ******* up.
you said you would do it for her
and you said you never listened to her
and you commonly say things
that contradict
the previous sentence
but i was willing to accept those things
and you were willing to accept me
for all my flaws
and God knows there's many
too bad we just couldn't feel that way at the same time
cause i know together
we would have been great
and i wouldn't have tried to change you
but i guess you just fall for girls
that will never accept you.

These cuts I make
Are small compared to my real pain
My wounds go deeper
Than any blade can cut
And they leave bigger marks
Than the simple scars
Blood flows out of my wounds
Yet I live on
My heart still pounds its steady beat
Even as I scream
My heart cries out for help
As do my lips
I will continue to cut and cry
Until at last I die

A simple thought takes over
Taking over your mind
Filling up your brain
Dancing around the thought of doing it
What if?
How?
Where?
When?
Writing down every last detail
Boxing up memories
Breaking hearts
Broken family
Lost their child
Killed herself
Wrote it all down
No one knew
No one thought
No one saved her.