I stand up strong, look in the mirror
Say grandma will be wrong soon,

Drive and work, keep a smile
try to not be the reason a frown ensues,

Supplicate to myself,
wonder and dream about what can be,

Call to not get an answer,
but she will is what I hope,

Tell my mother what's wrong and hopefully right
ask she will see decades more of nights,

Sit down and write, because it feels right
feel cold but indifferent of what's left,

Dreary thinking of the prospect that nothing changes
even with my best,

See my father hasn't opened years of messages,
I lament

Be strong because that's all that's left,
Smile because people deserve the best,

All for you, and them, dancing in my chest.

This woman wanted my babies,
and she would have made them beautiful,
Her forms and shapes I'd never seen,
and I'd kiss and trace her without cease,
She loved me, but I knew it wouldn't be,
now I'm alone and wondering.

Her eyes, her mouth, her skin, her insides,
a perfect heart, a fiery mind,
But I did not want to keep,
she was fine just falling asleep,
But I did not want to keep.

Jane, you were honest, and our love is slain,
I sang songs you wanted to keep playing,
eyes and breath were enough,
but I wanted to keep playing.

I've thrown you away, and you reciprocated,
but what could we have created,
If i held my words for breath abated,

My star, my singer, my sweetest touch,
I am sorry.

The guns are exploding,
Roses are growing,
Cars being towed,
Faces being turned,
Spirits being burned,
Roots and vines,
Fragile beings,
being born without thorns.

Scowls brewing,
Gist being missed,
Mother's hoping,
Father's coping,
Fists about to swing,
Hearts about to take,
For a final break.

Tires screeching,
Children beseeching,
Minors going through majors,
Fellows becoming a danger,
Almanacs gaining maniacs.

Calls being dropped,
Stars being ridden,
Families becoming bedridden,
Cars ready not to start,
A wildfire about to miss her mark.

Skies glowing,
Skies gleaming dull,
Stomachs full and null,
Eyes glowing for the first time,
Past them who will never know one.

Gardens, homes
Graves, alone
Tell them.

The sunrise is bright tomorrow,
Grass greener than ever,
That something happens I would have loved forever.

A call comes and it lasts even while you make dinner,
A kitten finds a home to make a winner,
A letter crosses oceans and skies for just your smile.

Her eyes reflect the moonlight and a kiss follows behind,
The songs turn into numbers and into hours you couldn't find,
Your voice comes back and the sun is warm and fine.

Our cars don't whine,
Hours with friends from old times,
Discovering new wine with someone on a new line.

The peace comes quickly,
Forgiveness is forgotten and moved on from,
Everyone is happy.

The dish served cold, but with what pretense?

I am in the dark and cold, I've left the desire to be bold,
I am and will lie in wait here, even until I am old --- to see you.

Your back, my malicious place, my new home,
I wish I didn't need this blade, so my wrists could undo your form
beginning at the ribcage. How I wish to dispel this rage.

The structure guarding me from doom, holding my visage
in oblivion's place. This friend gives me the ultimate weapon,
and the greatest devastation you will not face.

Your armour, reflecting moonlight, my hunger has become thirst.
That shield, for what purpose gave it you the sky, such deception,
I understand from this place.

The steed, galloping, taking, puncturing fate for your impending, never-ending doom...my guardian of certainty, my knowing beast under mine enemy's line.

I raised you, but to die. Oh, inkling, minuscule minor thought, developing into this moment so grand.

Brace, you cannot...I will bless thee with the duty but to rot. Your future days are of paradise, and I witness from this kingdom until you come.

The story is nameless, faceless, and veinless,
who says hello when everyone is dead.

How empty are the walls when no one showed up, again,
are these halls too commonplace to conjure or figure about.

Why does one say about the other what presence eliminates,
hello, goodbye, I love you, your matter is mine.

Take the skies, give them names,
clouds are meant to die, to dye,
universes with romance,
nothings with  everything.

I culminate into a never-ending sunrise,
I desecrate as desperate, father said.

I go, before the eyes, like I was never there
I terminate to speculate, dreaming.

You shouldn't be here.
You should've kept,
You wouldn't've.
We, aren't.

Okay, let me begin for the sake of clouding the din, with smoke of my own demise, dispersing into a thick black night, sounds funny huh, chasing the thrill in the little moments, I suppose anything to avoid the torments...sounds cheap huh, well packaged and attached, haha, it keeps going for the sake of flowing...next thing you know it's not so funny, and the ground is where you're hiding, your best kept secrets, like the sounds of trees that fall all alone, not wondering or caring if anybody heard them...screaming for an audience unknown...because of nothing, not because you lied or they lied, not because the truth ever existed, not because you looked like the truth, not because their leaving means anything. The growth is real for them.

Telling spells, to what? the night?? Okay, tell me then, let's make some use of these stars...let's have them be birds, flowers of the sky, starlings making songs in lieu of the basic chirp...go ahead, let's make beauty of the humble ugly...go ahead, let's keep spilling until the ground stops bugging. Until we can look at it, until it's just as unmoving as we, were ever gonna be.

I suppose I've been a ghost all along, you've done nothing wrong,
best to know that I was unstable from the start, I was just trying to be steady, I was just trying to actually be trying. So i say what I say so you can protect the future, of some other pair of lonely eyes, of other actually honest minds.