heather why did you
come at this time, in the
midst of all the cacophonous
panic? forgiveness aside, i know
you're lifting lids from my
third eye, a gift you always had
in life, you still share selflessly
from the other side.

heather why did you
leave so ripe, in the
mist of a summer's moonset
cultivating cold? all my guilt
creates blockages, it cannot
fit inside me, it sits instead
as a crown in a place from which
you would pluck out both
horns and halos, and toss them
while laughing, into the stillness
of the sound.

i know these false records and
moon shifting memories are not
all i am left with. last night
when you laughed, it relieved some
of the pressure, but many times
i've seen you laugh when you were
sad, so how do i pull this
fringe all together?

heather why did i
ignore you for so long? was it just so
the scale could tip now, or are there
signals in the circles of the ripples
that rebirthed you?

woke up in a pile of dead leaves
sun peeking in from canopies
an earthy odor dripping down from above
the dark master waits in the hollow trees.

he is divided among six trunks
he left his ears under a striped rock
i traveled out to meet him when i heard of my demise
all i can do now is watch my flesh rot.

and he calls to me
he wants me to play hide and seek.
he can't hear me but he smells me
and he feels every step that brings me closer to the river.

a fist on my chest,
a knee in my shoulders,
i know he is my ancient master
but i though that i was freed.
now i droop down like the slugs,
i take the jelly out of my eyes
and feed it to my children
i slice off callouses, layer by layer,
till i have a basket of raspberries.

i just want to slide my bare body
across the treetops in this jungle.

i keep eating my hair and coughing up muddy ice
i keep burning down teepees at night so that i can
see the souls of the screaming children
rise like red dust to the three witches.

last night the acid burned a hole through my cauldron
and when i saw what was on the other side,
i sat there, speechless, at the feet of what i had forgotten.
a ball of cotton, still aflame,
a purple spiral galaxy,
3 milligrams of safety
and an echo that escaped from me
every time i tried to pet it.

goodmorning
the **** convinced me
not to move the black bracers-
killer whales wanting to dance
but i stuff them with threads,
knots of ebony and fishnets,
so they hang over my body
at night during my journeys.
are they looking after me or
are they after that red bead
in my center?

burning woodsmoke now, patchouli
melt creamy- as venus sways one
hip from the fire pits of aries
she ends up on the other side:
the dirt finger grove of the steady
bull chanting "hold and touch and stay."

goodmorning
when has the sun glided his way,
as if upon the hips of a sea nymph,
across miles and angles of what
was a dark night?

keep your water, i am weaving.
i am breathing every taste of it
i am touching infinitely that center,
so sought after, like the walls of palaces
when tongue touches lip
i am rubbing every color through me
i am watching your scent drizzle gently
all over my pools of skin.

tend me like the earth, goodmorning
string me like the grape vines bursting forth from soil.

lapping lips of waves kissing the
shore lavishly. heavy tide spirals pulling the
body magnetically

into subaquatic realms
into deep subconscious caverns.

the wrath of the ocean a siren's storm
and yet a gentle calming blanket.

the polarity we need for nourishment
the emotion we need for healing.

you fall like umbilical cords
for the purpose of befriending
bacteria at the site of your
bloated corpse collection.

the way you make me vibrate is a
witch trial, my talismans shaking
as i grasp the embryonic roots. do you
know what kind of flora we found
in the red maple swamp today? do you
wrap around the left horn of dionysus?

there is a space between your lips,
not the upper, not the lower, but the
plane at which they meet. this is where i
want to stir my cauldron, this is what i
want to bathe in poison.

water bearer! do not bring me
indica, do not bring me purple orchids,
i am only pleased by small mammals
writhing from the corners of your fangs
(a secret that can only be sealed sanguinarily).

and now tell me: when your veins
turn like supernovas, when your minions
dance for you in throngs, do you exhale
the debris? do you eat the coral berries?

do you remember when we hunted that
mammoth in full cryogene, in full rhapsody?

i held you at the sun's eclipse as time slid by like timid snakes.

your cry for help is a charade
your act of humbleness is hubris
your fervent praise is mockery
your chasing dreams is blasphemy
your spinal chord is weakness.

do you fall unto her because she
wears the same mask? do you hide
with her form reality because you
have never tasted death? have
you ever thought to lean upon yourself?

it is a shame you've fooled the fish
to think that you command the flames.
after your show all i see is a self
conscious little boy. you cannot control
death if your life's a masquerade.

you disgrace your family, you disgrace
the huntress. may she turn the cubs you
own against you, may they rip the tendons
from your bones, may you never find
another siren, may your lacquered
features be exposed. may you die
slow, guilty and alone.