No one will ever understand the things we feel.
No matter how much they say they do as solid as steel.
They will never see the perspective of our peripherals
Even if we pour our hearts out, its like a code in numerals.

In the end we must face the fact that we are different
the things we do, the words we say, will be all but omnipotent
We have no one to lean on but ourselves, no shoulders to cry on but our own
It's like calling someone who fails to answer the phone

We are beyond the term called normal
some even consider us abnormal
the pain we feel is twice of what anyone would ever feel
the scars won't take overnight to heal

People think it's a choice we make
but if it were so, why not choose the easy life to take?
It's easier said than done
the actions we make is to subconsciously find that sense of belonging undone

Will we ever belong or reach that sense of entice
or continue to go down the road of demise?
Will you ever care for me
as much as I care for thee?

I guess I realize it now
It's not the why's but the how's
how will you choose to take your life
given the setbacks thrown at you that strike

I'm ecstatic by the thought of this scene surreal
how I wish it were not a mere fairytale to my appeal
It makes me strive and yearn for more
yet live every moment down to the core

No words can explain the exuberance I feel
it's been awhile since I felt so satisfied from a meal
The way you make me feel and get me weak on my knees
is taking over me like a contagious disease!

I can't remember the time I last felt this vibe
One thing's for sure, I'm here hungry for more!
the motivation and inspiration within
has created boundaries and standards up high with the seraphins!

Move, make way, make way
the queen has returned to conquer feats, stay away
Crowns up, there's no stopping this femme fatal
Hands up, this diva's making a hierarchy of immortals!

Caught in the moment of intense rage.
You'd better step away as all forms of communications are in a different page!
It's at a point of exploding into the dark abyss
from which chaos and unspeakable pain makes inevitable to exist the sense of bliss

It's frustrating to see how microscopic your relevance can be
once you've given the benefit and no longer serve a purpose, sadly
The mere thought of it just bursts me down to my core!
How awful it feels to be needed no more...

Convincing myself as I reminisce in the past
that the moments we conversed was sincere, and not a mask that was cast.
Orthodox, it makes me begin to believe
that it was merely facades you built to deceive

Now that you're better off and back to your Elysium Fields
I'm left hanging as with nothing, not even a sword and shield
The bitterness I feel, all enclosed in this silent squeal
No one can ever understand, not even me, the way you make me feel

If happy ever after did exist
it's just false hope that makes the thought persist.
I was stupid to think that it was all so real
when in fact, I was blinded by something surreal

Upon hearing the bickering that you are back to your happy state
I do not know whether to feel full of joy or be filled with hate.
It stings to hear how well you are doing
but it's excruciating to see you with her, I'm barely coping.

The thought of you gladly doing everything for her and giving up the world
pierces like an epee, deep within my reach, so painful so bold!
Perhaps jealousy fills up my gauge of emotions
because I'd gladly give everything up for you without any hesitations

Ironic how I'm still here waiting and conflicting with myself
yet clearly how I feel and what I want is a selfish expression hidden in a bookshelf
Does it really matter what I think? Does it really matter how I feel?
When will I forget? When will I carry on, when will I heal?

Questions that remain to be unanswered leaving curious insights
I guess there's no point dwelling on regrets and mistakes and fights
All these emotions of different nature yonder on my brain
As I woke up and decided not to further give myself the strain

Yet another day ends and another chapter perseveres to be untold
all these will be nothing but notes left unanswered in my box of old
I click reset and whisper to myself gently, 'close thy eyes, tomorrow's a new day', or so I'm told.

I sit and wonder, thinking if I'll ever go beyond this tragic state.
Keeping me concealed, strapped, and left to suffocate.
I pry my eyes to see the silver lining of optimism
but every pit I go into is an alluring state of pessimism.

No longer will I return to that place of pain
I won't go in circles, go lying and crying with nothing to gain
Must I reminisce on the past to remember the sorrow?
the deep wounds impaled from the core by a bow and arrow.

Confusion dominates me from deep within, leaving me baffled.
my mind says no yet my instincts says go, am I biased or am I flawed?
What's wrong with me, why do I keep going back to where I began?
That tragic place of misery and suffering of which I am no fan.

Stop this madness, do not dwell and just keep going.
on the other hand, some reflections and realizations seems to be occurring.
I guess only time can tell what all of these mean, did I lose or win?
Until then, I must keep these thoughts concealed within.