As I concentrate on the X on the ceiling
I feel the burning pain travel
O this enduring feeling
Farther I travel into subconscious
My mind barely still reeling
The needle drags past skin
Past regret, past nerve endings
Body, patiently waiting for the healing to begin
O three pronged needle of shades
Dripping into blood stream
Trapping yourself between layers of
Epidermis, leaving your mark unclean
I try to find my tranquil place
A quiet forest, a a glaciers gleam
Yet my mind shouts and doth protest
This is your finest moment
Do not hide from it
Endure the present
At that moment the machine strikes my chest
I am here focusing on the X
The buzz becomes a lullaby
But do not fall into the minds eye
Living in the present
The girl watching see's the blood rise
A color I cannot see from my perspective
I smile with clenched teeth
To show I will not accept demise
O perseverance you have prevailed
The needle lifts, antiseptic applied
The tingle of chemical purity relaxes my skin
I try to stand but my head is a blur '
Legs lack equilibrium for a moment
I am reborn, like a religious experience
People of faith describe
I am new
I am proud
I am high.

The boy said
he wanted to be a
cowboy, astronaut, or vampire hunter
and go on fearless missions
The old man said
you're only destined
to be a system analyst technician

The boy said
he wanted to change the world
end poverty, hunger and war
The old man said
the only change you'll make
is at a 7-11 store

The boy said
he wanted to travel
to see Australia, Japan and Spain
The old man said
the only thing you'll see in life
is monotonous pain

The boy said
must you be so negative
life has surprises even you don't know
The old man said
you're just basking
in youth's ignorant glow

So the boy finally said
******* then, I'll be a writer
The old man said
I hope you like drunken all-nighters

The boy yelled
you're blinded by age
and your cynical ways
The old man stated
you too will drift in time
into apathetic malaise

So they boy walked away
to decide his future
and how to spend the rest of his days
The old man went to rest in his coffin
home of self defense mechanisms

I'm still in love
with every woman I've ever loved
This is no lie

The problem is
They mature and have kids
I'd rather wither and die

We run our course
Till voices become hoarse
and continually get high

But commitment issues
and baby I miss you's
Will always make me divide

Dumpsters are cold
Shelter grow mold
and slim is the spanging

Whiskey is warm
Dreads are the norm
and our sanity is estranging

Food out of cans
Roadtrip plans
The highways are always changing

Flying deceiving signs
Waiting in foodstamp lines
Sympathies constantly rearranging

Constellations are the roof
Provides strangeness aloof
Capitalism's fat ca-ching

Dirt inbetween toes
Where to? nobody knows
Life on the edge of healing

Go as far as stumps will take you
Shoot for the stars like a kamikaze
Follow dreams before they become cadavers
Fall in love like you have no organs

I knew a girl called Sally
She was already dead
Cold and wistful
Barely hanging by a thread

Her limbs were pale and serene
Her heart was bloodless
Eyes sadder than funerals
And just as hopeless

I held Sally once
More than i care to elaborate
Should've held longer
Could've been my undead soul mate

She was witty and morbid
Random and spontaneous
But never sordid
Wise beyond her tears

In the roses we used to lie
Their flora trampled beneath
Look up at the morose sky
My, what beautiful weather.

Love for me is like cigarettes
I need you, I really do
Sadly, I call off all bets
When I'm  done and through

Inhale you warm and deep
Feed my addiction
Tell you, You're mine to keep
That you and I aren't fiction

Halfway through is where I doubt
How much is left of you
Soon follows screams and shouts
Our love turns blue

I see the filter approaching
And know out time is short
the arguments are worsening
with every cynical retort

The end has bitterly come
The taste I longed for
Is now dull and dumb
I'm a *******, you're a *****

Extinguish you
Like I have many others
Under my conflicted shoe
Due to issues with our mothers

Watch the ember die and wither
Unfortunately it'll be 20 minutes
Before I tell another to come hither
Oblivious to my own limits

Prepackaged and mass produced
Complimenting my every inebriation
For now at least, I deduce
Truly you are deaths creation

Set you ablaze knowing
That our intoxicating romance
Has not a single chance
Of ever positively growing

Love for me is like cigarettes
I need you, I really do
Sadly, I'll call off all bets
When I'm content and through

Apathy is my warm blanket
My safety net that has holes
A self-fulfilling crutch
My stocking full of coals