What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
Wrong is right,
or is it right is wrong?
I don't know,
but the mere thought
is driving me insane.
The constant commotion
surrounding me has my
head spinning.
I try to block it all out
but everytime I try
the sound seems to
find some other
right of passage.
"Shut up," I scream.
"Shut up!"
But the more I speak,
the louder they
seem to get.
I close my eyes
hoping it would strain
the noise,
only to achieve no success.
I can't take it anymore.
This is too much for me.
My head feels like
it's going to explode.
"SHUT UP!" I scream
at the top of my lungs.
Only to open my eyes and realize...
I'm alone.

No, I don’t like watermelon.

No, I didn’t beat on my girlfriend.

No, I didn’t drop out of school-

Wait, wait, wait.

Who are you?

Okay.

Now, do you even know who I am?

Uh, huh.

So let me get this straight,

you walked over here,

not knowing who I was,

assuming that I liked watermelon,

beat on my girlfriend,

and dropped out of school-

And it’s all because I’m black?

You know what,

people like you are what’s wrong with society today.

You’re too dumb-

stupid-

ignorant-

too weak-minded to think for yourself.

No, I understand that this is what you were told,

but if you believed

everything you were told,

who’s really the dummy-

Who’s really the inferior one?

So next time you just assume

something about someone,

please at least get to know them.

You see,

everyone’s not like me-

calm and understanding.

If you walked up to anyone else

and asked them the same thing-

I would say “I told ya so”,

but that would be rude.

Everywhere I go

people seem to follow.

They’re just sitting there.

Watching,

Waiting for me to slip up.

For most people

it has to be done a few times.

But for me,

it’s that first hit that gets me hooked-

That one taste,

that seals my fate.



It seems no matter how hard I try

the urge overwhelms and consumes me-

Like a beast in the night

showing no mercy towards its blind prey.

It’s just that every time I plan something,

every time I try to do something for my family,

it all turns wrong.

Not because I was unable to

but because I slipped up.

I slipped up.



I should have walked away

when I saw them light up that first cigar.

I should have said “No”.

But instead I sat there and lit up my fate-

Gave up my life.

I’d be a miracle if my family forgave me.

I’ve put them through so much pain,

and I just want to say,

“I’M SORRY!”

“I’M SORRY!”



I wish I could do it all over-

take the better path.

I suppose I shouldn’t live my life

dwelling in the past.

My mother always told me,

“Live life in the present

for the past has passed.”

I didn’t understand what she meant at first,

but now my eyes are open to all of life’s treasures.

Life is always changing-

And it’s never too late for that!

NEVER!

I have spent most of
my life under a cloak of insecurities.
Never thinking I was good enough.
Always putting on this show
that I didn't care what
others thought of me.
But in reality,
every word,
every slang,
every criticism targeted towards me
seemed to make my soul
sink deeper into a pit of despair.
"Why me," is all I ask.
Why pick me to be the
victim of a bunch of homophobic
idiots who aren't even proud
of themselves?
A bunch of fools who's only goal
in life is to get amusement from the
despair and suffering of others.
It's sad really.
Just to think someone
who knows how it feels,
knows how it is to
be an outcast; how it is
to have people not want
to be around you;
just because you're different,
would treat someone
with such hatred.
Would treat someone so unfairly,
it makes them feel worse about themselves
than they already do.
It saddens me to think
someone would be so heartless.
I am often pressured into changing
what I am-
who I am.
I can not change who I am.
It is not a choice,
it is a part of me.
And I am not going to change
who I am just to please
someone else.
This is who I am.
This is who I will always be.
This Is Me!!!

I watch as you stare.
Staring as if you're a
predator and I'm your prey.
Staring with the most concentration
I have ever seen before.
You give off this essence.
The essence of a knight
in shining armor,
beckoning me towards you with
every glance I steal just
to see your crystal blue eyes.
Are you trying to
relay a messsage,
or are you simply intrigued
by the sight of me?
As I look back I
try to read you expression,
yet all I find is a blank canvas;
Staring deep into the pit of my soul.
Why don't you say something?
Anything?
Just release me from this
spell you have cast on me-
these chains to which I have been binded.
You stare as though
I can read your mind
but I asure you I can not.
Will you just answer me already?
The feeling of you staring
overpowers me-
weakens me.
"Release me" I ask.
"Release me"

I am an angel with
a broken wing.
Wishing to return to the
good times but knows
it's impossible.

An angel who has had her
halo taken from her.
And with that-
her spirit.

God has blessed me with
a gift.
A gift that I am to
never take for granted.
But with all gifts,
there's a proce to pay.

The price paid was
the endless nights
of waking up.
Never again to relax.

Never again able
to go out and have
a good time because
I am the backbone.
The structure.
The mother.