Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
19m · 4
TELLING THE BEES
TELLING THE BEES

"A year has gone, as the tortoise goes,
   Heavy and slow;
And the same rose blows, and the same sun glows,
   And the same brook sings of a year ago."

Telling The Bees - John Greenleaf Whittier

A cloud of bees
angry not to be told

"Why the delay...
why this day!"

I tell them I could find
no words.

Could hardly tell myself
the truth of your death.

Unable to believe
or to accept.

I couldn't speak
or rhyme.

Despite the Plath
or Greenleaf Whittier.

Grief is a voice
that cannot speak.

Death tears the tongue out
then commands me to speak.

I have only
this silence.

I come before this
court of bees.

Speak only
in silences.

I stand in the form
of a crucifix.

Accept the suffering
of your fierce stings.

Atoning for
the not telling.

The bees and I
now as one.

*

The old tradition of telling the bees when someone has gone over to the other side...usually in a little rhyme....keeping them in the know so that they know what's what and who's what now that there has been this huge shift in the world with the death of someone loved. Sometimes hives were aligned to the house in acknowledgement.
And so poem begat poem...

And here be John Greenleaf Whittier’s 1858 TELLING THE BEED

Here is the place; right over the hill
   Runs the path I took;
You can see the gap in the old wall still,
   And the stepping-stones in the shallow brook.

There is the house, with the gate red-barred,
   And the poplars tall;
And the barn’s brown length, and the cattle-yard,
   And the white horns tossing above the wall.

There are the beehives ranged in the sun;
   And down by the brink
Of the brook are her poor flowers, ****-o’errun,
   ***** and daffodil, rose and pink.

A year has gone, as the tortoise goes,
   Heavy and slow;
And the same rose blows, and the same sun glows,
   And the same brook sings of a year ago.

There ’s the same sweet clover-smell in the breeze;
   And the June sun warm
Tangles his wings of fire in the trees,
   Setting, as then, over Fernside farm.

I mind me how with a lover’s care
   From my Sunday coat
I brushed off the burrs, and smoothed my hair,
   And cooled at the brookside my brow and throat.

Since we parted, a month had passed,—
   To love, a year;
Down through the beeches I looked at last
   On the little red gate and the well-sweep near.

I can see it all now,—the slantwise rain
   Of light through the leaves,
The sundown’s blaze on her window-pane,
   The bloom of her roses under the eaves.

Just the same as a month before,—
   The house and the trees,
The barn’s brown gable, the vine by the door,—
   Nothing changed but the hives of bees.

Before them, under the garden wall,
   Forward and back,
Went drearily singing the chore-girl small,
   Draping each hive with a shred of black.

Trembling, I listened: the summer sun
   Had the chill of snow;
For I knew she was telling the bees of one
   Gone on the journey we all must go!

Then I said to myself, “My Mary weeps
   For the dead to-day:
Haply her blind old grandsire sleeps
   The fret and the pain of his age away.”

But her dog whined low; on the doorway sill,
   With his cane to his chin,
The old man sat; and the chore-girl still
   Sung to the bees stealing out and in.

And the song she was singing ever since
   In my ear sounds on:—
“Stay at home, pretty bees, fly not hence!
   Mistress Mary is dead and gone!”
THE CARTOGRAPHER TRIES TO MAP HIS WAY BACK

the Past has no colour
Time
has abandoned it

it is soft
to the touch
then: rough

the compass
does not know
which way to turn

"Is there no map
to take us back
to before

we stepped into
the photograph
what was that

misheard Donne thing?
"...about must and
about must go..."

"NNW?"
( the mind's guess )
Time

has no colour
the Past
has abandoned it



*

On a huge hill,
Cragged and steep, Truth stands, and he that will
Reach her, about must and about must go,

John Donne - SATIRE 111
IN THE DEEP MIDWINTER

the fox pauses

a paw
left in mid air

resting upon
a clump of darkness

the fox listens intently
the countryside listens to the fox's
listening

a stillness fall
upon all
a snail stops mid wall

nothing moves
the fox's eye glistens
the world holds its breath

the fox trots
as if in a dream
across countryside that's never been

my face reflected
in the diorama
the museum closing for the night
WRITING THE SILENCE

scratching at the silence
the pen's nib spreads the word
the empty page now overcrowded

the clink of an inkwell
the pen drinks its fill
word chases word

the pen drunk with words
blots the page
the poet curses

now the pen stops
to think. . .
before creating the next word

the candle fearlessly
standing up to the darkness
at last the last full stop

his head
rests upon his words
the candle loses its fight

in the morning
his words line up
for his inspection

his words
once only ink
dance in his mouth

he repeats them
to the walls...the furniture
anything that will listen

his thought
once invisible even to himself
now parades across the page

outside the world is
waking up
the dawn yawns

". . .these are my beloved words
in whom I am well pleased. . ."
his face smiles back from the mirror


*


As one can see I was born into the world of pen and inkwell with a fountain pen being the newest technology and the ownership of one proved that one had now attained a civilisation worthy of a poet.
"...AS TREES WALKING . . ."

the goldfish ponders
the world the other side of the glass
retires to its castle

it watches the coming
& goings of us
unable to explain our existence

"...I see men as trees walking. . ."
the vicar reads
his thought visible to the fishes

"...but what does it mean?"
one fish asks the other
"...and what are - trees?"

the vicar dies
in his sleep
words still floating about in his head

the fish unable to explain
his stillness....loudly
the clock talks in tick tocks

the God hand
that feeds them...does not
come

hungry for answers
they cease
to believe

Time
darkens
whitens

& again
darkens
whitens

it all goes belly up
the dead vicar & his dead fish
frightening the home help

only the plastic Christ
nailed to the wall
hears her scream
THE DESTRUCTION OF SUMMER

her father
takes her
up the hill

and even though
he walks slow
she has to run to

catch up
and soon
they arrive

gaze over
where they have
come from

the red barn
tiny as a toy
but still itself

the stream
flowing nearby
a clump of trees

a road meanders
running to somewhere
or other

and there barely
the lady scarecrow
dressed in pink

almost only
imagined
but there nonetheless

now as winter
draws in
the summer hidden under snow

he leaves
by her sleeping
the summer she saw

a perfect replica
of the time
gone

even down
to the lady scarecrow
dressed in pink

and so it remains
for years
after he is gone

until her dog
excited by her return
jumps up and

summer tumbles
to destruction
scatters over the floor

she tries not to
scold the dog
cries silently

still feels
her father's hand
in hers
"...IN FORGETFUL SNOW..."

flake by flake
Heaven falls
until its whiteness covers all

angels guard
their dead
all is quiet all is light

even marble flesh
feels
the cold

the dead
have forgotten
Christmas

a Christmas
the angels
have never known

a forgotten bicycle
half there-half not
looking like an art installation

until it too
succumbs
to the snow's will

the silence slowly
erasing
the world

a raven
perches
upon an angel's wing

she pays it no mind
gazing with sightless eyes
as land and sky become one

even
the horizon
is being filled in

the raven's
harsh voice
upsetting the silence

*

“Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow”

― T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land
3d · 28
THE DUSK FOX
THE DUSK FOX

the fox acknowledges
with an imperceptible  nod
the arrival of dusk

dusk and the fox
becoming one
entering the world of humans

the fox is busy
being a fox
stops: paw raised

the fox goes
in and out of
time

appearing now
disappearing as if
it had stepped out of the world

the dusk no longer
exists
night falls with my footfall

as if on cue
synchronised to time
and light

the fox stares  at me
beyond me...I am
a walking shadow

the yellow street light
stains us for a moment
we vanish from each other

tomorrow sees
dusk and fox
keep the same appointment

only I
am absent
. . .

*

Riffing on Hughes' THE THOUGHT FOX.... when my brother introduced me to his very own private fox who would without fail come to the window and gaze in at him. We would sit with the lights out and await his presence. When my brother died I'm sure the fox continued to come and gaze at the now silent window. Fox as psychopomp. When the fox came it would gaze at us for about five minutes and we would sit still in the darkened room and gaze back and try to commune.

My brother always loved Raymond Carver's Late Fragment...

"And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth."

He said this was what the fox was saying....the ultimate question you have to answer when death comes calling.
WORSE THINGS THAN DYING

I wander
among the living
unable

to believe
I am
dead

the living
haunt
my dreams

their tears
torment
me

trapped
in their memories
I scream

unable
to break free
from their grief

that holds me
prisoner
in their minds

I am at war
with time
forever dying
5d · 121
"TA DA!"
'TA DA!"

uncle
always
making things

appear
and disappear
and then

plucking them
from behind my ear
with a chuckle

doves and rabbits
materialising out of
a top hat he never wore

I never believed
in the magic
only in him

didn't like to tell him
that "ABRA...CADAVER!"
wasn't the word

or that "HEY PESTO!"
only made
my mouth water

enjoyed his enjoyment
in my pretend
amazement and surprise

and yes he was
a third-rate magician
not realising that

the magic
was always
always him
WHAT THE CAT DON'T WANT TO HEAR
              THE CAT DON'T HEAR

(TO.THE. ONLIE. BEGETTER. OF.THESE. INSVING. LINES.  Mr. A.S.J. ALL. HAPPINESS. AND. THAT. ETERNITIE. PROMISED.)

the chair
liked the room
it was living in

the day before
it was living
in a shop

only one
of many
such chairs

now
it had
its own room

indeed it was
the only chair there
it even had its own desk

yet the desk was full
of its own
self importance

and had only indulged
in the usual
polite conversation

about how far
or near
one should be to it

the chair was rather proud of
THE CLOUD OF UNKNOWING
that lay open upon it at page 144

the desk was profoundly
jealous of it
whereas the chair

actually took pleasure
in the mere fact of
its mistress's posterior

a mirror slightly
to the side
allowed the chair to look out

upon a garden
who talked continuously
about the weather

a lawn ran down
to a flint-faced wall and
beyond the wall's flint facedness

lived
( so the chair believed )
- the World

the chair
( even if it had to
say so itself )

and human voices
agreed with its opinion that
looked extremely elegant

the chair
enjoyed
being a chair

the only thing that irked
was the cat
whose habit it was

to doze upon it
when the humans
left the room

"Shoo...shoo!"
the chair cried out
in deep despair

but the cat
either did not
speak

or
pretended
not to

understand
what was said
to it
5d · 34
"NOW...LIVE!"
"NOW...LIVE!"

I place
a tree...
there

I place
a sky...
here

I add a bird...
I...subtract
a bird

I alter a mountain
place it to the left...
to the right

I let
the little stream
run

I add
a sun
( turn it up)

I walk between
the spaces
between seconds

check
each moment is
- perfect

only then
do I allow
time to

unfurl
flap
in the breeze

then I stop it all
I adjust a a molecule
or two.

place you at
the centre
of the big green field

you
in your dress of
bright blue

then I like a long ago
Sultan
or a third-rate magician

command
the memory:
"Now, live!"
HORSE OF A DIFFERENT COLOUR

Auden & Isherwood
strolling in China
trying to soak up

The War
by the process of
osmosis

staining it
with words
observe

(at first what seems)  
green horses
but turns out to be

only white horses
painted green
for camouflage purposes.

that evening in Canton
also offering them
the futility of two men

trying to
put a rat
into a bottle

a woman who lived
in a beehive
pouring water into a sieve

War knocks
over the inkwell
spills into men’s lives

covers
the white pages
of their wishes

makes the idea
of Hell
all too real

the spilt ink
eating
the words of men

who send letters home
and die in pain
never to return

only in others' memories
& useless dreams
marble memorials

while green horses
champ the grasses
the bridles & the bits

clanking & glinting
in the hot sun
of Now

as this last lost
evening
dies


*

Sonnets from China was originally published in a considerably different form as “In Time of War.” “In Time of War” was a sonnet sequence included in Journey to a War (December 1938), a book by Auden and Christopher Isherwood that included a travel diary, photos, and a long poetic commentary.

Here is one of Auden's magnificent sonnets from that journey...

HERE WAR IS SIMPLE

Here war is simple like a monument:
A telephone is speaking to a man;
Flags on a map assert that troops were sent;
A boy brings milk in bowls. There is a plan

For living men in terror of their lives,
Who thirst at nine who were to thirst at noon,
And can be lost and are, and miss their wives,
And, unlike an idea, can die too soon.

But ideas can be true although men die,
And we can watch a thousand faces
Made active by one lie:

And maps can really point to places
Where life is evil now:
Nanking. Dachau.
THIS BLOSSOMING INTO BEING

the rose puts
her red armour
on

goes to fight
the common enemy
time

her only weapon
an ephemeral
beauty

three stars rise
above her head
this her last night

on this earth
fallen petal
by petal

was it enough
that she could say
"I am!"



"0H REALLY STEPMOTHER NATURE..."

I was thinking of my first wild rose I ever remember when I can barely remember myself of that time and not realising they had to leave us.

"But why do they have to go?" I asked in "does-everything-go-voice".  And my Da answered in an "Ô vraiment marâtre Nature" voice.

It was the most beautiful of summers and I couldn't believe that time wasn't endless and life but a gift given to us...

I was thinking of my first wild rose I ever remember when I can barely remember myself of that time and not realising they had to leave us. "But why do they have to go?" I asked in does-everything-go-voice. And my Da answered in an "Ô vraiment marâtre Nature" voice. It was the most beautiful of summers and I couldn't believe that time wasn't endless and life but a gift given to us...



Mignonne, allons voir si la rose
(original French text)

Mignonne, allons voir si la rose Qui ce matin avait éclose
Sa robe de pourpre au Soleil, N'a point perdu cette vêprée* Les plis de sa robe pourprée, Et son teint au votre pareil.
Las ! voyez comme en peu d'espace, Mignonne, elle a dessus la place
Las ! las ses beautés laissé choir !
Ô vraiment marâtre Nature, Puisqu'une telle fleur ne dure
Que du matin jusques au soir !
Donc, si vous me croyez, mignonne, Tandis que votre âge fleuronne
En sa plus verte nouveauté, Cueillez, cueillez votre jeunesse : Comme à cette fleur la vieillesse Fera ternir votre beauté.

Pierre de Ronsard (À Cassandre)
Nov 11 · 30
RACING INTO OUR FUTURE
RACING INTO OUR FUTURE

we walk
backward
out of the sea

our laughter
gulped
back in our mouths

our words
drifting back
down the past

until
they are only
the original thoughts

our clothes
falling
back on our bodies

as water
falls from us
un-wets us

here I
pause
then press play

the memory
obeying
my mind’s command

as we happen
again &
again

racing into our future
as if it has
never happened yet
THE ASSASSINATION OF PRESIDENT
      RICHARD MILHOUS NIXON

It was...
Oct 5th - 1970.

A Monday.

It was the 278th day
of the year...only

87 days remaining
until the end of the year.

I knew I had to act now.
It was now...or never.

Time? I forget the time.
Time was standing still.

Huge clouds
menaced the horizon

impersonating an Armada
of Spanish Galleons.

Full sail ahead then.
I took a step into my future.

The smiling President drawing
nearer and nearer.

In Nass
the drenched crowed cheered.

In Newbridge now
flocks of children chase the car

like he was some
kinda Piper from Hamelin.

I kept a close eye on
the secret service

all dressed in the same suit
looking like clones

of one another
talking into their sleeves.

My gaze searches and settles
upon him

like the cross-hairs
of a ******'s rifle.

Sure he had called his setter
King Timahoe

after where his folks came from
another American looking for his roots

bolstering the Irish-American vote.

And now here he was
the man himself

in person
the 37th President.

Irish colleens dancing
upon a make-shift stage

in the square
of Kildare.

He's here oh so near
I can see the pores of his skin

a bead of sweat trickles into
that infamous Nixon grin.

Dare I do it now?
My hair falling into my eyes.

My mind flashes back to
1729

when his Quaker ancestors
fled the Emerald Isle.

Three centuries pass by in a second and
we're here

in the middle of
The Vietnam War

and he speaks of
"a passion for peace...preventing war...building peace."

Yeah yeah...sure sure!

Carpet bombing Cambodia
the famous Nixon duplicity

the "credibility gap" opening
between what he says and what he does.

Oh there are protests
he has 5 eggs hurlers.

"Splatsplatsplatsplat and splat!"
Only one near hit.

And one man protesting
the price of a pint

up'd( for the occasion )to
one shilling and jaysus seven pence.

What's the world
coming to?

School kids waving
their plastic( in slow mo )

American flags
on little plastic sticks.

I raise my flag.
I raise my...voice

shooting my mouth off
with a great shout:

'TRICKY DICKY! TRICKY DICKY!
WOULD YOU BUY A USED CAR FROM THIS MAN!"

Several secret service scowl.
My words hit him...Nixon frowns.

Character assassination.

Mr. McCann
aka "The Bicycle Man!"

curses me
in Irish.

After all he is
my Irish teacher.

D'anam leis an diabhal...Ó Diomasaigh!"
("Your soul to the devil...Dempsey!")

"THE TIME HAS COME TO CALL
A ***** A ****** SHOVEL..."

I yell as
I get a clip around the ear.

McCann holds his hand
over my mouth.

Then suddenly Nixon
is no longer

there.

The hurled words
disappear into the air.

Us school boys
***** damply back to double Maths.

The De La Salle
Academy looming up before us.

Mr. McCann
hoovers near.

I cover both
my ears.

But he only tousles
my hair.

"Ahhh mo amadán beag cróga!"
( "Ahhh my brave little fool!")

"Maith an bhuachaill...maith an bhuachaill!"
( "Good boy...good boy!")

He grins.
Slips me a sixpence.

I sing the new Led Zep
only released that day.

"So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
for peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing."

Being only 12
I had done what had to be done.

My political life
had only just begun.

*

The long forgotten "never-to-be-forgotten" visit made to Hodgestown near Timahoe in the county of Kildare back in the day as we leave the Sixties sadly behind us for the austerity of the '70's and the "Yes we can" of the Sixties begins to loose its lustre.

The Timahoeans are not exactly proud of giving the world Mr. Nixon and stay quite quiet about it. The Kennedy visit was the golden one and Clinton and Reagan had theirs but Tricky Dicky's one has faded into the fog of history.

"Jessamyn West, who has written so eloquently about the background of our family, has said, the Quakers have a passion for peace. My mother was a pacifist. My grandmother was a pacifist. Jessamyn's mother was, her grandmother, her grandfather, going back as far as we know."

President Nixon in the Timahoe graveyard.

Don't know what happened to him then!

"The time has come to call a ***** a ****** shovel. This country is in an undeclared and unexplained war in Vietnam. Our masters have a lot of long and fancy names for it, like escalation and retaliation, but it is a war just the same." - James Reston.

"So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins,
for peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing."

Led Zeppelin 111 - Immigrant Song.
Nov 10 · 35
TASTING THE WORLD
TASTING THE WORLD

first snow
falling slow
so slowly

I rush out
my belly
full with you

to taste
a snowflake
upon my tongue

so that you
should know
even before your birth

the delight of a night
taken by
the surprise of night

I still shaping
the form of you
nameless as yet

I ask you
"Come soon...soon!"
eager to show you

this world
you will be
born into

you my falling star
that I wish upon
my wish to see you

hold you in my arms
whisper to you
do you

remember that first
snowflake that time
that fell so slowly
USES OF GREAT LITERATURE

Bluebottle & I
share the same moment

. . .the same hour.

It keeps dive bombing me
like some crazy kamikaze.

It is a beautiful flying jewel
but I can't appreciate that

just now and enraged I
throw Proust at it.

The full weight of A LA RECHERCHE
DE TEMPS PERDU

thrown halfway across the room
brings it down with a bang and

it is no more.

"Heavy!" I praise the Proust.

Ten minutes later its brother
or its ghost

has returned with a vengeance.

"Don't look at me!" says the Proust
"I done my bit!"

I raise the book and
the bluebottle bolts.

Just the threat of the Proust
works just fine...this time.
"...MORT SANS PLEURS..."
(Death without Tears)



"Life is the farce which everyone has to perform."
            Arthur Rimbaud - Bad Blood



Once again she
sensing her time

had come
she prepared

her last words
rehearsed her last breath

disappointed to see
a new day dawn

and Death had
stood her up.

"She has been dying now these
last 20 years!"

her long suffering husband
moans.

A fatal dose of
hypochondria.

She lives to fight yet
another.

Her mind rambling through
half remembered Rimbaud.

"Assez vu. . .
Assez eu. . .
Assez connu. . ."

(Enough seen. . .
Enough had. . .
Enough known. . .).

she intones as if she
were her own priest.

La music savante manque pas à notre désir
( Great music falls short of our desire. )

she chants as if she
were her own sacred ceremony.

Always the same snatches
from ILLUMINATIONS.

"I never read him myself
but know him off by heart

from hearing them from herself!"
sighs her little husband .

Years later she
gets it right at last.

"Il y a une horloge qui ne sonne pas!"
(There is a clock that never strikes!)

She gasps.

"Que les oiseaux et les sources sont ****!"
(How far away the birds and Spring are).
"...THE POSSIBILITY THAT HAS BEEN
OVERLOOKED IS THE FUTURE..."
( for Michael Hartnett )

found
penny in a puddle
year of my birth

I pocket it
as the poet passes
cap in hand

this brilliant man
sculpted from sadness
loneliness falling like rain

he goes to greet me
knowing he knows me
but my face escapes him

I only ever meet him
when the drink has
taken him prisoner

inside his head
haiku breed
"..like maggots!" he says..."...like maggots!"

"I don't want your company
or your pity!" he snarls
"Just the price of a pint!"

I have only
the old puddle penny I've found
I give him my coat

he puts his hat on
his head
at a rakish angle

the tree flies away
the bird hangs still in the air
neon scribbles on the puddles

*

The title is taken from one of Michael's poems as is the idea of a tree flying away leaving the bird in mid-air! It always greatly amused me.

The only other time I had gone to hear him read and he was too drunk to perform. I had to get a last bus back to the Curragh and by then I think he finally got around to reading.

It was absolutely lashing rain and he carried his hat scrunched up in his hand and had only a thin tee shirt on.  

He put my coat on and tramped off into a future that was falling before him.

I never saw the coat or Michael again. He had asked me if I wrote poetry too and when I said I did he said:  "Ahhh then....I pity you!"

I had two coats at home and he had none so it was a no brainer. The giving away of your coat in the rain to someone who needs it more than you must be in the Dempsey DNA.


Jesus Christ Is Alive And Well (In Memory Of My Mother Ita)

she is thoroughly wet
through & through
as if a someone

(I don’t know who)
had upended
a bucket of water over her

the rain holds
a conversation
with itself

“Where’s your
new coat? ”
we incredulously ask her

as she continues
to drip
at us

the rain is laughing
at something
it has told itself

“A poor woman
hadn’t one…”
“…so I gave her mine.”

she explains
as
to a child

we her children
stare at her
hair plastered to skull

a large drip
at the end
of her nose

my mother
could be kind
in an almost

Biblical New Testament way
as if she were
Jesus Christ

before
he had gotten
himself crucified

and was alive
and well
and living in her
”NON SO COME..SI PUÒ VIVERE IN QUESTO FUOCO?

after
the war
we returned

ourselves
(but not)
our selves

to Our Country
right
or wrong

that was
like a life sized
replica of what

we had left
only alien
to us now

we were guilty
(guilty as hell)
of surviving

this hell
that made ghosts
of so many

& we these
ghosts
of flesh and blood

haunting
the living
envious of them

and their ability
to forget
by remembering

we hoarded
our tears
we couldn't cry

went on living
because...because
we didn't know how

to die
each moment a battle
we could never win

*

"I do not know how it is possible. . .to live in such fire."
Dante
IN THE MYTHOLOGY OF FOXES

the foxes blood
on the stone
still there

two days
after
staring at me

only
the day before
a daring raider of

my uncle's henhouse
the talk
of our household

but my uncle
was patient
& stalked the lonely hours

until the fox
came to meet her death
thinking only of her cubs

& how big & bright
the moon loomed
tonight

and how
the fearful thunder
of the gun

had ended
everything
and how now

shot through the head
her carcass thrown
behind a hedge

she finds herself
still staring back
into the mind

of the little boy
even more aware
of her presence

now that nothing
exists
and how for

ever after
the boy
carries her death

cradling it
in his mind
trying to

comfort her
with his human
tears
Nov 7 · 25
TEA & GHOST
TEA & GHOST

usually I
never leave home
without it

but(I don’t know why)
today
(it just slipped my mind)

and I left home
without my body I
didn’t even take my shadow

I just floated
free
free of me

enjoyed being
whatever
I encountered

...a stone...sea...cloud...
...a me
that wasn’t me...

rain...or just
the falling of rain
but then came full circle

& ran into
my  “me”
again

I had being enjoying
being rain
just falling...falling

but then my ghost
grabbed hold of me
and put me back

in my dream
and I awoke
to find myself

only me again
it was
very disappointing

I got up & made
some tea & toast
chatted with my ghost

who quoted
William Blake
to me:

“Body, is a portion
of the soul
discern’d by the 5 senses.”

I sat there
& chewed it over
“Yeah, I guess...?"

then I grabbed
my hat and coat
and went to work
Nov 6 · 35
SKIN & BLISTER
SKIN & BLISTER

we grin & grimace
drop candle wax
onto our fingertips

as the storm
rattles our window pane
angry that we won’t let it in

All night
it rages
toppling chimney

pots with a crash
smashing slates
it strips from rooftops

as we safe
giggle & peel off
our waxen fingerprints

hold them
(tiny whirlpools)
in our palms

those whorls
of self
unique to each

I wearing my sister’s
fingerprints
she... wearing mine

*

SKIN & BLISTER is Cockney rhyming slang for sister. We were so close we could have worn each other fingerprints and as a little boy I was delighted to do so. I was her and me was she. This I guess is something we did to amuse ourselves before...telly arrived.
Nov 5 · 37
TINY CLINGING CURLS
TINY CLINGING CURLS

I remember you
looking almost
Audrey Hepburn-ish

my big sister
& oh...
that smile

touching my world
with the wonder
of your love

we are Christmas-ing
the place
living in the candle's glow

love
nothing but love
in almost slow motion

the holly bites
your little finger
I **** the drop of blood

that grows
& grows
until it is kissed better

you laugh
'Ah...my little
saviour! '

and sigh
with an almost
mock Victorian swoon

tiny curls cling
to the nape of your neck
like the tiniest of tiny seahorses     

we swim
in the sea
of our laughter

the next Christmas
you were dead
lost to this

world
leaving me alone
to mourn you

I...
unable to
save you

now...all these years
later
(years you never knew)      

the holly
bites my little finger
& I **** it quickly

tasting through
my tears
the sweet tang

of your blood
still so alive
in my mouth
"DO YOU HAVE A QUESTION?"

her heart was a red
fire alarm
going off with nobody

paying it
no mind
at all

her heart was
an evening hillside
as the sun went down

the light
stealing
into the ground

her heart was a favourite
pair of cufflinks
with one link missing

or an earring found far
too late many many
years later

her heart was a lute
that was mute
un-played for

many
many
moons

her heart
was a house
burningburningburning

down
razed
to the ground

the sneer of her
pyromaniac lover
lost in the shadows

her heart was
the junk mail
that came in one door &

out the other
instant
*******

she felt as if
someone had
pressed DELETE

her heart was
a crystal ball
that could foretell

nothing....
nothing
at all

her heart was
a knocked over
cheap cocktail

that left a nasty stain
on the carpet...
on the wall

her heart was
a tiny torn pink knapsack
that held all she had known

her heart was
the forgotten
iron

branding itself into
her nice new
blouse

her heart was
a field of poppies
seen

from a passing train
there&gone
again

her heart
full of the perfume
of memories

that refused
to ever
...go away

her heart was
the same train journeying
in and out of...love

*

Memory is seen( and felt )as a perfume...in its there and not-there-ness whereas the poppies are a splash of red glimpsed from a passing train.as she is overwhelmed by her senses falling falling...in and out of love. It's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride with what her heart was experiencing as she tried to put into words feelings that could not be...put into words

The poem issues forth from Rimbaud's commands to the energy of the time...." Le Poète vous dit: 'O lâches. soyez fous!' " to " Le Poète te dit: 'Splendide ta Beauté' "

The Poet says to you: "O cowards, be mad!" to The Poet says to you; "Your beauty is marvellous!"
Nov 4 · 38
END OF SUMMER
END OF SUMMER

once
with astonishment
I stole

a butterfly
from the end
of summer

I only meant
to borrow her
admire her

the miracle of her
smeared clumsily
across my child's hand

so that I could not
return her
to what little was left

of summer
leaving a jagged hole
in the time of the sky

where she
should have
been

a box
empty of its matches
served as a makeshift

coffin
matches stuck in
fresh earth

like little red-headed
flowers
blazing all at once

her funeral pyre
often I steal
back to that moment

cut out of summer
the empty place she left
in me

seeing clearly
the butterfly shape
cut awkwardly

out of time
jagged
at the edges

my mind seeing beyond
into the infinity
of death

hoping
her ghost
can forgive me.


*
I then tried to give her the kiss of life and ended up swallowing her...which is another story...another poem!


BETWEEN THE SPACE

When I was small
I wanted - a pet.

My mother didn't
- like pets.

'It followed me home! '
'Can I...keep it...can I...can..! '

didn't work
& I invariably had to
return the kidnapped cat
to the house I had
'borrowed' him from.

Between the space

where my mother wrung screaming wet clothesthrough the rollers
and out the other side to quite flatness

and the coal bunker
where a briquette wire spat at me
almost nearly blinding my left eye

I captured a Cabbage White
hiding amongst the coal.

Emptying the strawberry jam with the gollywog on

I gave her a world of glass
where she danced to the sunlight's mad music.

Neither she nor I
understanding the nature of glass

her dancing grew frantic
my love stifling.

I not knowing
all things
must breathe

the dancing died to a sudden stop.

Being an impressionable child
and after only seeing a life safety film

I dived through the panic
and swam madly against the guilt

took her gently
into my trembling

fingers...her dusty colour
taking my fingerprints

I tried to give her
the kiss of life

choked with grief
and swallowed her

terror in my mind
butterfly in my tummy

and fear running
blind and crazy

that I could not
give her

her dancing
back again.

I said nothing
for years

(about the incident)  

until I could explain
myself to myself

and my self

...understood.
"NOT ALL PEOPLE EXIST IN THE SAME NOW. . ."
( for brother Brian )

your smile
like music for a movie
that will never be made

you travel through
your life, now:
unable to arrive at the present

you no longer
live in the now
that I inhabit

this my great grief
life, but:
life without you

Death has taken you
slammed the door
in my face

me left here
you in an other
place

you have left the planet
somehow escaped Time's prison
a new day dawns without you in it

remembering how you
relished Block's words that
"NOT ALL PEOPLE EXIST

IN THE SAME NOW. . ."

applying the statement to
whatever happening
happened to be happening

your smile
like music for a movie
that can never be made



His world was a world of electricity and circuits and whatnot....mine was of books and study. Work being scarce in Ireland he came to London to be with me....work was just as scarce in London and so he went back...not realising he was about to step into the job that was to last over 20 years.

He could soak up my world of Eliot and Hamlet and Block but his world was beyond my ken.  He would pick up little nuggets of knowledge such as the Block quote and then laugh and apply it to all and every situation.

Little did I think that I would be applying it to his death as a means to understand how my brother can be dead and alive to me at the same time. He and I both living in different NOWS.

Grief is a process and I am lost in a maze of pain desperately trying to find a way out.


"Not all people exist in the same Now."

Ernest  Bloch  in  his 1935  Heritage of our Times(Erbschaft dieser Zeit ).

"Not all people exist in the same Now. They do so only externally, by virtue of the fact that they may all be seen today. But that does not mean that they are living at the same time with others. Rather, they carry earlier things with them, things which are intricately involved. One has one's times according to where one stands corporeally. . . times older than the present continue to effect older strata; here it is easy to return or dream one's way back to older times. . .in general, different years resound in the one that has just been recorded and prevails. Moreover, they do not emerge in a hidden way as previously but rather, they contradict the Now in a very peculiar way, awry, from the rear.  . .many earlier forces, from quite a different Below, are beginning to slip between."

*

"But soon we will die, and all memories of those five will have left earth, and we ourselves shall be loved for a while and forgotten. But the love will have been enough; all those impulses of love return to the love that made them. Even memory is not necessary for love. There is a land of the living and a land of the dead, and the bridge is love. The only survival, the only meaning."

The Bridge of San Luis Rey

Thornton Wilder in 1927.
Nov 3 · 41
IT TAKES ALLSORTS
IT TAKES ALLSORTS

it was an old
fashioned sweet shop
as if it had stepped

out of another
century
lost to time

something
that could only
exist in memory

I asked for gobstoppers
but the assistant was insistent
that they had not got 'em

despite the fact that
he had one in his gob
and that there was a jar

full of nothing
but
gobstoppers

the same when
I asked for Allsorts
again another "NO!"

all the Allsorts
in the big glass jar
looked longingly at my mouth

"Oh please!" they pleaded
"Choose us...chew us!"
but all to no avail

they were there
but
not for sale

it was like being
in some ring
of Dante's Hell

"Go on...*** out of it!"
the shopkeeper yelled
"You can't fool me!"

"****** aliens!" she shouted
"Coming over here and
nicking our sweets!"

I grabbed whatever
I could lay my several
tentacles on

and made a dash
back to the spaceship
almost out of breath

"Did ya get the sweets
did ya...did ya!"
the crew chanted

"Yes...yes..yes!" I sweated
"Now...get out of here
QUICK!"
Nov 3 · 45
A HERD OF LEGENDS
A HERD OF LEGENDS


always in the background
of my mind I am
hearing

listening to
the
of Arun's voice

speaking to me
in best Kolatkarese
as I ride

his KALA GHODA
to the outskirts of
JEJURI

and there dismount
walking barefoot
into the town

of his mind
bowing before
his words

this here
this now
drinking his voice

thirstily down
to the very last sound
marking each syllable with turmeric

offering the ashes
of anything I can say
I the humble havildar

to the temple
of your thought
until you take a final drag

from a half bent charminar
flick it from fingers
laugh...tell me to. .
.
"****** off! Go on...
and make
a poem of your own!"



Going to India for the Delhi Poetry Festival....and delving around in all things Indian and the poetry therefof who should I encounter first but the unique voice of Mr. Kolatkar...at once I was in love with his thoughts and decided to elope with his mind. He was by far and away my favourite Indian poet but now he has become my favourite poet. One of the unexpected gifts of going to Delhi to read poetry was to discover this genius hiding in full view! Hopefully the Bloodaxe COLLECTED will propagate him even more in the West and he will become acknowledged as the master he undoubtedly is. He reigns in my mind...long may he reign. Read JEJURI and was completely blown away by his honesty and wit and the lovely wry turn of his mind. How had I lived before without him!




I'LL STILL BRING YOU FLOWERS
( a zendu for Arun Kolatkar )

I listen to you
. . .just be. . .
you escape

the well known photo
the droopy lids
the droopy moustache

caught in a cafe
by the clock
and come alive

in this dimly shot video
the language
flows around me

( Hindi...Marathi?)
like a rock in a river
I listen to

the water's language
as it breaks
and moves around me

the cancer
eats you
I listen

to the language of your smile
the language
of your laughter

listen
to you
. . .just be
Talking about his good friend Balwantbua, the old bajhan singer and racontuer who features in many of CHIRIMIRI's poems, Kolatkar could be describing his own poetic process...
"...everything he knew about life had come to him at first hand: from direct observation:  he didn't talk about the great events of this century...but about micro-event or non-events that make up his life - miniature comedies, adventures, misadventures, people he knew, the women in his life - with a sharp eye for absurdities inherent in situations and the contradictions in human behaviour, looking around him from street level, with his unique sense of humour which equips him with a sort of X-ray vision..."
Let's hope someone takes it into their head to publish his BALWANTBUA....still in a manuscript of nearly 1200 pages!

I just love this as an answer.....
Why did you take 10 years to complete your painting course at the J.J. School of Art?
I was doing other things.
What?
Painting.
From an interview with GOWRI RAMNARAYAN back in 2004 in THE HINDIU
"LOVE IS JUST A TEMPORARY TRUTH..."


“Both of them remained floating in an empty universe where the only everyday and eternal reality was love.”

― Gabriel García Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude



many years later
as he faced old age
Mr. Michael Murphy

was to remember
that distant afternoon
when his father

shouted that
he didn't know
who he was

and kept calling
for ice for his drink
even though he had none

he kept on reading
his favourite Márquez
even though he had lost the plot

and wandered into
a world of words
without meaning

in his own
private Macando
mirror looking at mirror

reflecting
only
silence and solitude

one could almost
see him attaching
yellow Post-it notes

upon everything
and anything
before they could fade

one upon his son
another on his wife
but they all blew away

or he couldn't remember
what the note
said

soon he would be
erased
knowing nothing

of the world
or
of himself

we of course
loved him
all the more

but
not even our love
could reach him
Nov 1 · 27
DRINKING YOUR BLOOD
DRINKING YOUR BLOOD

so still. . .
entranced by the vision
of your own dying

your body
offers itself
up to me

I taste the flavour
of your life
drink your dreams

savour each memory
the delicious tang
of longing

smell the sweet
desire to live
swallow your soul(whole)  

your body now
no use to me
or you

a broken doll
left out in the rain
at best

I kept my promise
there will be
no more pain.

**

My friend who was slowly dying described her cancer as being bitten by a vampire and watching something so unreal drink your life without being able to do anything about it.
ESSE QUAM VIDERI
(to be rather than  to seem to be)  

"What must it be to be someone else?"
- Gerard Manley Hopkins

( In honour of Honora O' Sullivan becoming a great grandmother yet again)




there I am
all 2lbs of me
and nameless as yet

and so for all
these 67 years
it's a Dónall I've been

haven't been
anything else
all my life

but now
with Storm Ciarán
roaring in

I remember me Mam
telling me that I was
due to be a Ciarán

because of my hair
black as anything
and sideburns to boot

I was obviously
doing my best
Elvis impersonation

and this was
after all
1956

she said I was
her own
'little dark-haired one'

and would I have been
a different man
I sometimes wonder

would the name
change the who
I would have become

I often think
of this
alternative self

wonder how
he got on
in a parallel universe

but a Dónall
I was
and have remained

so I guess  I will
just have to learn
to live with my self

and  Dónall of course
transforms into the Irish
"World Mighty...Spear Power!"

a hard name to be sure
to have to live up to
but I'll give it a good go



Ciarán (is a traditionally male given name of Irish origin. It means "little dark one" or "little dark-haired one", produced by appending a diminutive suffix to ciar ("black", "dark"). It is the masculine version of the name Ciara.

But sure as Oscar once told me: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken. In order to be oneself, one has to take risks, to accept that one is not perfect and to be courageous enough to say what one really thinks”
And says I to the Wilde man: "Sure, I will surely...so I will!"

And so it is I have become the man you see before you...as  Dónall as anything!

A Dónall by any other name would still be as sweet!
HISTORY ABOUT TO HAPPEN

the language of time
nails the sky and sea
together

making the horizon
smile with
the new light

and so day is
spoken
into existence

sky and sea
the same
bound inseparably

the morning fragments
into the many men
going about their lives

each man
tied to his own thought
imprisoned in self

the battle is but
moments away
history about to happen

it is a Sunday
yet War
doesn't stop for God

both sides fervently
believing that He is
on their side

the opening salvo
tears
a man's head off

his thoughts
lost
forever

the battle
commences
Time tells its tale
Oct 30 · 213
AN EXPLOSION OF SILENCE
AN EXPLOSION OF SILENCE

out of the eye socket
of a sheep’s skeleton
an invisible cricket

sang & sang
as if its life
depended on it

and when I took
a step
towards it

a twig snapped
and the silence
was as loud

as an explosion
only without
the noise
CLOTHES HAVE NO MEMORIES

Your most prized dress
must confess

that it
cannot

remember

the swell of your breast

the rise & fall of your breathing.

Clothes have no memory.

It is Winter now and your summer
frock has totally forgot

the sheer sunny shockingness of being
(underneath it all)    

absolutely knickerless.

Kisses like butterflies
alight high (high)    
on your inner thigh (thigh) !

Clothes have no memory.

Your bra
unhooked & unhinged

cannot really recall

the thrill of it all

as my hands caress

create your *******.

Clothes have no memory.

Clothes have no memory
...but I do.
Oct 29 · 57
A POET'S WORK
A POET'S WORK

"Oh my God is...that the time!
12 o'clock and not
a poem in the house written!

quick! wash those adjectives!
quick! bathe those verbs!
feed those nouns!

have you adverbs gone back to bed?
come on 'Smile!'
like a simile!

noooo! don't
wear the same metaphors
you wore yesterday

aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
and so with a little playful
smack on its btm

the poem is sent
out into the world.
'See ya...be good'

a poet's work
is never  ever
done!"


*


As a child I was sick and poorly and often missed school so that I found myself at home with me Ma and doing all the Ma things that she had to do....I followed her about the house helping out and seeing what an amazing myriad of things she had to do in order to make our life run like effortless clockwork only I found out it wasn't so effortless.

"Dónall son....!" she'd yell from the bedroom amidst sweeping and bed changing and making....will you cut the potatoes for the chips love!" And from bedroom to kitchen we would sing all the Ray Charles we knew.

She would always say the same thing like a little work mantra...
"Jaysus...oh Holy Jaysus....12 o'clock and not a child in the house washed!" And a whole litany of things yet to do. These were like well worn beautiful pebbles being rounded and smoothed in a stream of language....I loved hearing them even for the thousand time! So I cross pollinated all her mad cap hell for leather sayings into this making of poems poem to get the same urgency for tidying up my brain and getting the words washed and up and out making signs upon a page so that other brains could decipher my thoughts.

On one of these being my mother days I was watching "Telefís Scoile" RTE's educational prog. when up popped poet Brendan Kennelly. Now despite only starting my secondary education I was reading all around me so I was reading the Leaving Cert. poems as well. I was having a hard time with Hopkins but then Brendan started to recite The Windhover in his lovely Kerry accent and I at once understood it as the music of his mouth brought the words to life in glorious sound that I at once fell in love with and it splashed against my mind like a wave breaking over the headland that was my tiny mind. It was an epiphany.
Years years later I met Brendan in a pub having a quiet pint by himself at the bar and I went up to him to tell him of this moment made glorious for me by him and Hopkins. So he started to recite it for me again after all this time.

"I caught this morning morning's minion, king-
dom of daylight's dauphin,"
And I said the next bit.....
"dapple-dawn-drawn Falcon, in his riding;
Of the rolling level underneath him steady air, and striding
High there, how he rung upon the rein of a wimpling wing
In his ecstasy! "
And then he...
"then off, off forth on swing,"
And we traded lines until we had completed the Hopkins.
And then he said: "Well wil ya...have a pint?"
And I said: "I will...so I will!"

And then he said he loved my CRAZY LONELINESS HIJACKS MEMORY OF A BEAUTIFUL GIRL. And I said: "What! Ya still remember that!" And he said:" 'deed I do!" And so I recited it for him. It was so I felt I had come into my poethood!
Oct 29 · 51
THE LIGHT VANISHES
THE LIGHT VANISHES

Summer had suddenly
gotten old.

Shadows nibbled at the light
limping along by an orchard wall

biting it
to the bone.

The light seemed to wince.

An apple fell to the ground
as if on cue.

Forever seemed somehow
shrunken.

Time withdrew into itself.

The house was talking
to the wind

in its creaky old voice about
the this of that and the that of this.

The wind saying nothing now.
Keeping sthum.

Inside... a book
lay asleep upon a table

waiting to be awoken
by a child's hand.

The words now
allruntogetherbit

ready to jump back
into their proper places

take up their position.
when called upon.

Even the pterodactyl
had its eyes shut tight

in the drawing of it
on page 42

flying in pre-historic
black and white.

I was amazed to find
I owned

all these aunts and uncles
that were all mine!

I even had a cute cousin
called Mary Frances who

always made me
smile.

A mottled mirror
had flung itself upon a floor

scattering itself here & then
there in a loud "oNo!"

Still showing the world
its face

in many tiny
little seeings

that could
draw blood.

I breathed the summer in.
I breathed the summer out.

I would never again be
as old as I was now.

It was the last time
I was 9.
Oct 28 · 34
THE DEVIL'S TEAT
THE DEVIL'S ****

He straps her to the table
before him

(a sacrifice on an altar)

of the Arrogance
of his Ignorance.

Turns to the tools of his trade
neatly & almost piously arranged

on the table
behind him

still stained
with the chicken’s blood

from this morning’s preparation
bubbling in the ***... forgotten now.

He is a masterPricker
as they call his sort about here

half in awe & fear

of the Witchfinder General
and all his kind.

He is angry at her resistance

tears off the ragged burlap shift
that covers her

shaves her
from head to pudenda

examines
her

from top
to toe

with the aid of
a giant magnifying glass

for any blemish or birth mark
(an oddly shaped wart)

that will betray her
in all its innocence

pricking her both
with the long needle and the short

and ahhh...

the birthmark
refuses to bleed.

He smiles at such
an obvious sign.

Her denials
screaming uselessly

against the locked
door of his mind.

but now his fingers
probe

sensitively searching
for the Devil’s ******

concealed within her
to nourish to suckle

her
toad familiar.

And yes how proud he feels

to discover hidden within her
privy shaft

obscured by her
female *****

but not to the
empirical mechanics

of his fingers
probing...probing

as plain as the sun that goes around
this Godly Earth

...the Devil’s ****.

And so, by this fleshly
mark of being

Woman

she is
condemned to be
witch.

And so it is so
in these “the burning years.”

I cry for her
as I reclaim her

from History

(so many thousands of her)

hold them
all

(in their holy terror)

all such suffering
beings

in my arms
in the dawn

of this new
morning

keening
for them

stroking their hair
(closing their eyes)

as tenderly
as if

they were my child.
Oct 28 · 31
NOLI ME TANGERE
NOLI ME TANGERE

fallen at my feet
amongst gravestones
your dying haunts the moment

*

Walking past the grave of the Rev. Charles Dodgson's Aunt Lucy I was just about to take my next step when there was an almighty loud thud! At first I thought someone had thrown a heavy object at me but when I looked down there was this pigeon about an inch from my foot. She was lying absolutely still with both wings outspread as if she were a beautiful painting of herself. At my approach she brought one of her wings to her side. If she had fallen a second before she would have landed on my head. I was dumbfounded. Her plumage was gorgeous with various shade of blue and grey and browns. it was such a strange moment.
Oct 27 · 24
STARRY STARRY NIGHT
STARRY STARRY NIGHT

She switched off                the moon.

Plucked out                        the stars.

A little dog barked
as her scream scrawled:

“This time life has gone...too far.”

She took an overdose of sleeping tablets
in her big bright red car.

The day withers
that was once in bloom.

Petals fall
in an empty room.

The moon wept.
The stars cried.

Life was for living... Life lied.

INTRO TO STARRY STARRY NIGHT

You would have loved Frieda...everyone loved Frieda.  Frieda was the most alive.. most charismatic entity that I have ever known. Flaming red hair …crimson lipstick... scarlet dress...red Jag.  You couldn’t miss her.  She was the life and soul of everything and she desired only one thing: to be dead or as she put it “...not to be alive! ”  The only one it seemed who didn’t love Frieda was...Frieda.  

She was(as she admitted herself)      an expert suicidist  but a failure at pulling it off.  We used to joke that we would publish a book of her suicide notes.  Her last note simply said: “This time Life has gone too f*ing far! ”  She never spoke of Death only of  Life as if he was this bloke that one could run into on the corner of some little sidewalk café.  There would be Life(looking larger than Life)        sitting sipping coffee and he’d say to her: “Ah, ma jolie petite fille!  Comment ca va?  Asseyez vous, sil vous plait...baisez moi! ”  And she’d walk up to Life and kick him in the *****!

She often said that if I wrote a poem about her suicide she would come back and haunt me...I hoped I  would never have to.

When she was a little girl she was ***** again and again by her Dad and his two mates.  This started when she was 7 and stopped suddenly at 13.  As a little girl she looked up the word ****** got as far as insect...this horrible thing crawling all over your consciousness that you can’t get away from.  She decided to ask next door’s little girls if what was happening to her was...just what happens.  In their case it was the same so they decided to go to the girl next door to next door and see if this was so... and sadly it was. It seemed to be just a thing that Daddies do! One more house would have proven this untrue but...

When her Dad entered her and tore her and she screamed...he told her she was a bad girl and that she was disturbing the neighbours.  He got her to bite down on the yellow pencil she had been doing her Maths with. All she could remember were splinters of wood and graphite...flakes of yellow paint...blood and spittle.  At that moment she switched and created a Frieda to bear this hell and hid her self away inside her head.  She had put herself so far away inside her head that...not even she could reach herself.

It was this created persona who went on to be the Frieda that everyone adored and envied. The more successful this persona was the more the real Frieda hated her.  The only way to **** this Frieda was to **** the real Frieda.

All her life she claimed she was “me” & “not me! ”
It was the “not me” she would try to ****.

She used to play over and over again the beginning(just the beginning)       of  VINCENT and with an avid interest in astrology she would consult the stars to see if it was an opportune time to die.

I was going on stage when a stranger came up to me and said: ” You know that red-headed ***** you fancy...well, she’s topped herself...didn’t make it! ” All the time I was performing the poems I was writing STARRY STARRY NIGHT in my head so that at the end I decided to read it in her memory.  I was half way through it when a very alive Frieda floated in at the back of the room with a drink in her hand and a *** in the other! I looked as if I had seen a ghost!  She toasted me and said in a loud voice: “I told you I’d come back and haunt you! ”  Reports of her demise had been a little hasty and she had “made it! ” I was never so glad to see someone!

Originally the last lines of the poem were:

“The moon wept...the stars cried...that she was alone when she died! ”

This was the most terrible aspect of her death for me that someone so alive and had a life full of... people...people...people...should have no one when it came to the end.

She was a dichotomy...full of life yet full of hatred  for life.  She believed at once that life was for living but also that Life had lied to her. Both beliefs struggled inside her for dominance...sometimes one won... sometimes the other!

Years later she would phone me up at ungodly hours and no matter who I would be with and repeat them with laughter so that I was obliged to change them to the present lines!

This poem is for my friend Frieda wherever she may be.
Oct 27 · 35
IN PRAISE OF FOLLY
IN PRAISE OF FOLLY

a gaggle of giggling
nuns on the town
remembering when they were girls

they wear Halloween masks
scaring little kids &
big men

I wonder if it is a sin
for them to remember
themselves then

all under a vow of silence
never to remember this
when they are back at the convent

they dump their false faces
in a trash can
their freedom come and gone

I sit behind them on the bus
listen as they discuss Erasmus
whether in the womb Christ knew he was Christ

they laugh as
little girl ghouls board the bus
give them smiles and sweeties
Oct 27 · 47
OVER YOU
OVER YOU

A bust
of Beethoven

has fallen

in love with
a tiny statuette

of the Venus
De Milo

who has also
lost her head.

Beethoven with his
shattered hair

admires what is there
of her body

Christ!
with his left arm

snapped off
comes between them

keeping them apart.

Christianity
is harsh.

I pass & leave them
to their broken hearts.

Buy an egg
timer

made of brass

from a man
who looks like

a monkey
even more

than a monkey
do.

I turn the sands
of time

upside down
& then again

upside down
again

and with much fuss
catch the packed bus

in the non-stop
rain.

Home again
I boil an egg

that is neither
hard nor soft

hum Tchaikovsky
as I chew burnt toast

and cry

over you.
AND THERE WAS ME WITHOUT AN I

Time dawdles
stretches out the crash
to an infinity of now

casually I watch the car
crash into my side
as if it were someone else's story

car runs red light
the crash about to happen
taking...its...(time)  

I watch my door buckle
as if an invisible monster
wanted to eat its way to me

time...finally(stops) :
I fade to black
karate chopped from luggage from the back

I drink up unconsciousness
thirsty for
the oblivion it brings

the world leaves me now
even my thoughts
don't even know me

I am no more
a me
without an I

'You knocked..? '
Death asks politely
'No..just...passing through! '

Life swims back to me
from a distant
horizon

'Hey! ' shouts Life
'It's me! '
'Do I know you? ' I ask

*

Kinda weird to see your own death coming at ya and to dive into the blackness of the nothing only to resurface back into the light and a human voice asking you "Are you alright?" And being polite you say "I'm fine...fine!" Such polite lying but there we are pushed back into the good old world with time back again ticking on the clock. And to think...there was me...without an I...about to become nothing! That's...like...really something!
Oct 26 · 24
MOVING HOUSE
MOVING HOUSE

"Shhhhhhh!"
Uncle shushed me
"See that there now!"

I looked at
the house and the house
looked back at me

"That wee house wasn't
there yesterday!"
Uncle whispered

"Really?" said I
"Really!" he said
I stared at it

"No! Don't look
at it or
it might...!"

"Uncle never
finished what
"...it might. .  !"

the house it seemed
terrified of being caught
crept back into its shadows

it crouched
by the side of the road
as if at any moment

it would up sticks
and do a runner
at great speed

we walked on
warily by
careful not to scare it

"Let sleeping houses
lie!"
Uncle warned me

I not being
used to countryside
I was blinded with green

so that when
Uncle brought me
a different way

I was
none
the wiser

"See what did
I tell ya!"
the house had gone

"That wee house
likes to
roam about!"

and then the next day
and "Jaysus!"
wasn't the house back

Uncle kept this up
for a week or more
bamboozling my mind

and for all
the summers of me
being 3 and 4

I heartily believed
in the moving house
and its comings and goings

Uncle smiling
at my innocent
belief in him

*

Auntie Nellie used to always give out to Mikey and with always the same words"For God's sake Mikey will ya stop filling the child's head with nonsense....can't ya see that he believes everything you say!" Mikey would always smile and say his catchphrase: "Be the Hokey!" It was his stories such as this made up on the spot that seeped into my imagination and I soaked up my Uncle's storytelling through emotional osmosis. He made me the poet I am today.
Oct 25 · 38
PASSING STRANGE
PASSING STRANGE

Rose arose
& having risen
...was angry

'You never call me
by my name
only love & darling.'

'A rose by any other name
would smell as sweet! '
I quoted

'That's neat! '
she sweetly
smiled

'That's Shakespeare! '
I whispered in her ear
and kissed her

sweet sweet smile.
(each reflected
in the other's eye)

'Oh, quote me
that kiss again! '
she sighed

'How I do
love thee...! '
I cried

'...let me
count the kisses! '
she replied

my lovely
darling
Rose
Oct 25 · 27
THE EMPEROR OF NOW
THE EMPEROR OF NOW

robin in church
hopping from pew
to pew

a miracle
made real
its sheer joy of being

I hum Haydn
to its every step
Menuetto: Allegro

my little emperor
dances on the altar
it has become the music

it gazes at itself
reflected in the gold
of the tabernacle

a host of sunbeams
chase each other
little fishes of light

now robin
balances on the head
of the Christ

this the secret
prayer
of the moment

leaving me
bereft when
it finds the open door

*

Haydn's Quartet No. 62 in C Major, Hob. 111:77( Op.76 No.3) - the 'Emperor.'  It's Menuetto: Allegro was the musical equivalent of its happy hopping through the sunny church....as if it was the manifestation of Haydn's notes. It was a little epiphany...a kindness given to me...this robin was my only religion.

When they were in Rome, Severn used to rent a piano and play Haydn for the dying Keats in the next room and Keats was delighted with it and said:  "This Haydn is like a child for you never know what he will do next."

It was also accidentally the soundtrack to my daughter's first tentative tottering steps...as if the music was holding up her tiny frame and propelled her along.

I love robins and I used to have an extremely friendly little chap who would follow me as I turned over soil. I paused to wipe my brow with one foot still on the lug of the ***** and he came and perched on the other side of the lug so I stayed the way for a good five minutes and so did he. Both of us alive in the world in that self same moment and sharing this little scrap of time...both just mortal creatures enjoying being alive.
Oct 24 · 58
WRITING BAREFOOT
WRITING BAREFOOT

Being frisked
at Dublin airport.

"What's dat in yer
back pocket?"

"An unfinished poem!"
I admit ruefully.

"Is it metal?"
he asks.

"No, it's mental!"
I tell him.

"You know, a bunch of words
hanging about on a piece of paper."

"Go on with ya!"
he smirks.

"And next time...
remove yer shoes."

On the plane I
kick off my shoes and

finish off the unfinished
poem.

Now I
always write barefoot.

*

On my way to Jersey to perform at the Opera House I was asked at the airport after a thorough search refused to yield why I had bleeped...."Excuse me sir but could I look inside your hair?" I was only hiding curly thoughts inside my curly hair.
THE GENTLEMAN OF SHALLOT

Come Spring...

I paint my little room
all yellow

fill it with
daffodils & jonquils

drag in a giant
mirror

(left in the back yard)      

so large

it takes up
all the wall

giving the illusion
of another room

as if my room
were now not so

small.

Sometime the trompe l'œil,
fools even me

& I walk into
the imaginary room.

'Ouch! '
my reflection shouts!

Come Spring...
...came you!

(totally unexpected)      

& my playing with
perspective

hath you enthralled.

I'd catch you
catching your
reflection observing you

observing
the mirror couple

as they
mimicked us

watching our every
move

you thought it so
sensual

or could pretend to be
at a small ****

when it was only
us

again

&

again.

Bodies of flesh & blood
bodies of glass.

You breathe
upon the mirror

tracing our names
with a fingertip

fragile words
made of breath

'...this love...will last...! '

*

When we break
up

the mirror
stayed intact

except for a jagged
lightning crack

& now it was I
who watched

like a gentleman of Shallot

the couple
in the mirror

(the ghosts of
memory)      

making love

bodies of flesh
& blood

bodies

of

glass.
Oct 22 · 24
BEYOND THE CLOUDS
BEYOND THE CLOUDS

He runs
for the sheer joy

of being
a little boy.

"Brian...Brian!"
I try to rein him in

with my voice but
he escapes even that.

"Watch out...watch out!"
I throw the words at him

"Or you'll hit
that cloud!"

Two clouds glower at him
and he stops in his tracks

suddenly uncertain if
that is possible.

And so perspective
cowers my little brother

and he runs back
holds my hand.

We tiptoe past
the threatening clouds

leaving them behind
he laughing nervously.

Now far far from that time
beyond even death

I call his name
and he turns

runs and
takes my hand.

The clouds can only
look on.
Next page