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THE BACKWARD LOOK
( for D.B. )


the blackbird
leaves me a note
pinned to the sky


that blue
beyond
blue


the tide
of the moment
turning turning


Time
like apple blossom
falling through my mind


the little boy
unable to believe
that this day is not


made of forever
and only
now


I walk back
through my self
to unpin the note


the blackbird wrote
with his voice
still pinned


to that
self same
sky


the blue so still
beyond
even its self


I, at last, able to read
the birds words
its language a secret


no longer to me
"I  sing..."  it says  "...I sing
because all this must die!"


"I sing the moment's tide
its turning
always turning!"


It's throat
full of song
glorying in being


alive for this
one eternal
moment








A moment ago he had been singing( as he had been singing for me all these years ):

"In the event
that this fantastic voyage
Should turn to erosion
and we never get old
Remember it's true, dignity is valuable
But our lives are valuable too"

I was also reading this 4 line fragment from the 9th century :

"There is one
I would wish to see again,
And give the golden world to win -
All, all, though all were vain."

"Fil duine
Frismbad buide lemm díuterc
Ara tabrainn in mbith mbuide
Uile, uile, cid díupert."

And so I wrote him this little poem....THE BACKWARD LOOK.
CHOCOLATE EXPLANATIONS

“Right...! ”
I try to explain it
with chocolates
that she(girlishly)
keeps trying to eat.

I pick a luscious
dark chocolate seahorse
And I say “Now this is...”
(and she finishes my sentence for me)

“...your hippocampus! ”
She squeals... delighted with herself.
“That’s correct! ”
I praise her
“...it’s shaped like this seahorse! ”

“And it controls
your memories of you
your “who you are”

your “how your self assembles
its sense of self
...with all its past and future mysteries! ”

“Yes...yes...that’s it!
She claps her hands
thrilled to bits

by the familiar telling
the reassurance of sounds.
And this twisted twirl of almond
with a real almond in the centre of it
“... is your amygdala! ”
She blurts out before me.
“You got it”
I smile.

“Everyone’s got one!
a seahorse & an almond
one on each side of our brain.”

“Now the almond tells you how
to respond to the things
that you’ve assembled
into a sense of self

...with the proper emotion
...the right feeling.
...whether you just like
or love it”

“Oh, I love it...I love it! ”
She almost sings.
“Now, explain it to me again! ”
I give her the finished explanations
and she eats them

with much exaggerated
mmmmming & ohhhhhing.
“I love your explanations
about what’s wrong with my thingy”
She knocks upon her head
like it was a door
to a self that she had
locked herself outside of.

Most times
she doesn’t even know
her name
or who
or what
she is.
But she loves this story of
HIPPOCAMPUS AND ITS FAITHFUL AMYGDALA

She loves
each sound
each word
each letter
each pause
of the chocolate
explanation.
SHADOWS LEFT BEHIND

"Eh...excuse me..."
smiled the Neanderthal
on the Circle Line

he wanted to know
where
to get off

"How come I can
understand you?"
I asked without talking

"Oh I took a course
ages ago now
in Telepathy As A Foreign Language."

he wanted to see
his girl
a pretty Denisovan

who was staying
with a palaeontologist
at South Ken or something

he had bought her
a Divje Babe flute as
she dug the pentatonic scale

told me he had been
working in
the Mousterian stone-tool industry

he saw that I was
reading about muons
of all things

"How can you possibly
know about wobbling muons?"
I asked in wild surprise

"Oh when one is
you know...dead
one knows about everything!"

he smirked
"For the snark was
a muon you know!"

told me he was
a big Lewis Carroll fan
as it goes

"May the 5th Force
be with you!"
he deadpanned

"Holy incredulous questioning Quark!"
I exclaimed in
a Batman/Robin tone

but his stop
was coming up and
I told him where to get off

"MIND THE GAP!"
the tannoy warned him
"MIND THE GAP!"

Slán...slán go deo!"
he waved to me
switching to the Irish

"Is  fearr an tsláinte
ná na táinte!"
he offered as a parting

"DOORS CLOSING
DOORS...CLOSING!"
the tannoy butted in

and he was gone
from my sight as if
I had only imagined him

back into the depths
of a time I
could not conceive of

chewing a mammoth
sandwich and looking
for an exit
A DINOSAUR EATING THE NIGHT

Death had frozen
his mind

and all his musings become icicles
stalactites and stalagmites  of thought.

He snapped a thought off
an even number of stalactites and stalagmites .

Then he placed them one by
one in his jaws

like row upon row of
dinosaur teeth.

"Roar!' he roared
roaring himself out of this

"whatever it is!"

"Roar!" he roared again

eating the night
and all it brought

with his new stalactitestalagmite
dinosaur teeth.

When the night was all
eaten he

lay back and
fell asleep

inside the dream's
dream.

"Brother!" he said

and his dead brother
comforted him as if

he was not dead.

"Brother!" he cried

but the world had
reappeared

ready for the new day
that was spread before it.

*

The non-sense of dreams trying to organise chaos into some form of order and not succeeding.
AN ACUTE ABSENCE OF WEATHER

( for my little brother Brian )

tomorrow arrived too late
to save you
you had become

the past tense
no longer present at your own life
time had abandoned you

the world turning its back
on the sun
staring into the night

a darkness
without stars
the far away barking of dogs

a somewhere
that's nowhere
where even the weathervane

doesn't know which way to turn
the acute absence
of weather

*

Because of his stature in the world and his skill at making his way through its faults and falls...he had become the BIG BROTHER simply because of who he was. Only now in death does he once more become my little brother. I became a mere meddler with words...a peddler of poems.

When he was truly my little brother he once asked me one of those childlike questions that adults or even slightly big brothers find impossible to answer.

Lost in himself he asked of me" "Is there weather when you die?" I didn't know how to answer it then or...now.

On the great barn that was his shed he had placed a weather vane and we still look at it to this day as it searches for the answer to this question.

I had told him then that: "Whatever...there would be weather."

I suppose he could now answer his 7-year-old-self's strange little question.
HIC IACET ROBIN, REX QUONDAM REXQUE FUTURUS


I have to admit
I hadn't thought of you
for quite a bit


and that though
we had never met
I thought of you as a friend


who could always
make me laugh despite
the sadnesses in my life


the night that you left
I was doing you
being Bruce Springsteen


being Elmer Fudd
"I'm wving in my karrr..."
and laughing

to my self
even my mirror
was laughing


remembering Mork
manically morphing
into anyone anything



a menagerie of personalities
the so many people you
. . .could be


you so...
singularly...plural
always a becoming...


"... but then there you are s
itting around and doin' nuthin'
and death comes up and goes: "Boooo!"


"Shhh. Be vewy vewy quiet,
I will always think of you
as you



being so
very much alive
you wascal you!"
KICKING THE BUCKET

The moon has fallen
asleep in a bucket

can't get back out despite
trying to slide over the rim.

It trembles as a train
thunders past midnight.

A child tries to catch it
its tiny hand plunging

through another dimension
through to its nothingness.

The moon takes its chance and
escapes to the sky with a splash.

It's all gone now
( the barn of course )

but the house...the child...that moon
are no longer to be found.

Strange to think
a house can die.

A tree enters through
the kitchen window

lays
its head upon a table.

The bedroom
is without its roof.

A door still stands
without its walls.

It bangs in the breeze
a surreal Morse code.

The living room is home
to a family of nettles.

A sofa moulders
a new line in zombie furniture.

A hare stands upon a chair
barely able to hold itself together.

One of the chair's legs
genuflects to a sunset.

The hare hops upon
the rotting table top

enters the tree's head
and leaves upon its branches.

Somehow the bucket
survives.

Still standing outside
the outhouse.

It is full of storm
right to the brim.

It holds within itself
the moon of now.

Trains no longer
thunder by.

I, that child
now - this man

let the moon
splash through my hand

before throwing it
into the night's sky.

Always wanted to do that
before I kicked the bucket.
BUSIE OLD FOOLE

Dr. Donne controls the sunne
"Goe...!" he orders it "...come!"
the master of imperatives

see the sunne shackled
by his lines
obey his royal commands

and that being Donne
here the sunne
imprisoned in his words

this sun of now
discovers me asleep
the Donne fallen upon the ground

the sun smiles tenderly
upon my dreaming
"Huh...poets!"


*

Eh it's only DD( Doctor Donne)doing that not DD( ~Donall Dempsey )...only a simple story of an aged Irishman falling asleep in the sun whilst reading his Donne. Donne is the master of imperatives and orders everyone around...yes even in conceit...the busie old foole of the sunne.

WHAT'S DONNE IS DONNE!
7d · 29
"HIYA BUD!"
"HIYA BUD!"

Saw you coming out of
the Co-Op today.

Buying milk.

And there you were
in the Post Office.

Buying a first class stamp.

We  both
just smiled.

You pulled up
at the petrol pump.

Filled her up.

And there you were
taking the bus.

One way.

We both
just waved.

I was surprised because
the Co-Op was in London.

The Post Office
in Gozo.

The bus going to
Dublin.

The petrol pump
in Guildford.

Now you're dead
you appear

everywhere at once
at anytime

walking into my mind
with a smile and a wave.

Everyone seems
to wear your face.

We do the same old joke
we always did before.

"Brother we
can't go on

not meeting
like this!"

Seems like everywhere we go
there we are.

We laugh.
And hug.
BROKEN ABRACADABRA

My uncle shimmers
as he walks

as if the sun has got him
and shakes him

until he walks
like waves.

His gait all
heat haze.

He's a walking
reflection

as if the air
were water.

He looks like
he's a dream

made of summer

but he is the real thing
a solid Uncle Michael.

I expect his voice
to waver with the heat

but his words
stay steady

whittled out of love
like wood.

I am up a tree.

He can't see me.

The branch below me has sn-
-apped

and I am wondering like a cat
how in hell I am

going to get down.

Up here in the air
the farm is the map

of itself.

I share a branch with a bird
and a small cloud.

Uncle goes on looking for me
his voice searching the everywhere

but I am a nowhere.

His voice trying to pull me
out of thin air

like a magician would
but it's not good.

I am half sky half tree half child
...do the maths.

I feel like a white rabbit
lost inside a top hat.

He died one sunny Sunday
******* a sweet in the blue van.

I still see him
walking out of the sun

his body shivering
with the heat

as if he is a dream
calling my name

like an abracadabra.

I sit in the silence
in the middle of my sky

lost in that forever
summer

wondering how to get back
down on solid ground

calling his name
like a broken magic spell

always trying to find him
even though I can't
Aug 11 · 28
MIST CREEPING SLOWLY
MIST CREEPING SLOWLY

The morning found
only blood & feathers.

The fox leaving
only Death

& its presence

& the gossip of the frightened chickens.

My uncle swearing
‘til the sky was blue

(early morning clouds that the sun shone through) .

An embarrassed ****
like a mad alarm clock

crying like a cartoon “****-a-doodle-do! ”

My uncle dispatching him
with a quick kick.

“Oh yeah, and where the hell were you? ”

I take in the scene of the massacre
& whisper:

“I sure wouldn’t like to be    a chicken! ”

          *

All that next week
my uncle stalked the chicken coup
waiting for the fox

who was clever enough
not to turn up

until the eight day
driven by his hunger & his nature

she stared into my uncle’s cold metallic sight
& the evil acrid smell of a cartridge caught in flight

as both it & the fox(shot through the head)  
fell dead

at my uncle’s muddied boot.

My gentle uncle delirious with Death
the frosted air
stained with his breath.

His voice almost transformed
into an animalistic hoot:

“Hey boy, betcha didn’t know I
could shoot! ”

The good side of the fox’s face
seemed to still laugh
at the very idea of Death.

I whimpered:

“I sure wouldn’t like to be    a fox! ”

The countryside
brutal & Biblical

demanding

a life for a life

Yet all I could see
was Death...Death.

Priest-like...

I knelt & whispered
a quick act of contrition
to the fox’s carcass.

My uncle probably thought
I was barmy.

That night in celebration
my uncle wrung a chicken’s neck

(the chicken’s name was Patricia)  

& I declined the clean
white breast

still haunted

by the chicken & the fox’s

death.
"M'APPARI TUTT' AMOR..."
("She appeared to me full of love...")

Here in the church
of my father's carpentry

the incense is
of pine

sunlight genuflects
through the window

wood curls
in religious ecstasy

a blue bottle
preaches an  iridescent  sermon

a choir of dust motes
make this a heaven

as my father hums
"M'appari tutt' amor.."

this my epiphany
of the ordinary

this the everyday
prayer

I bow my head to
the saw as it sings

"....bella si che il mio cor ..."
("...so beautiful that my heart...")

*

You can see this sung as a charming serenade in the film BREAKING AWAY ! and in the soapuds episode from ***** WONKA AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY and used here and there in Hitchcock's REAR WINDOW.There are also two swing versions.

My Da didn't know any of this and it was just a passing air on the radio that got stuck in his head and he would hum or la la la it every now and then as he hammered or sawed without knowing anything about it! It was only years later when he was 90 that I was able to tell him what it was and get him a recording of Domingo singing it.

Of course it features highly in a certain Mr. Joyce book as well. Caruso had made it popular and Joyce always a big Caruso fan( he had hoped to do an interview with the great man when he came to Dublin but that came to nothing.)
Aug 10 · 29
SHOPPING LIST
SHOPPING LIST

after the funeral
your fingerprint lives on
in a jar of Pond's Cold Cream

a shopping list
dug out of a drawer
now a precious artefact

I an emotional archaeologist
unearthing a smile
buried in the past

all our I wills
become the past
tense

the touch of your skin
still so real to me
a teardrop trickles into my ear

Death
unreals you then
makes you more real

I call your mobile
just to hear you say
you are not there
SAY, IS THERE BEAUTY YET TO FIND?

('Hear the cool lapse of hours pass,
Until the centuries blend and blur'

Rupert Brooke
"The Old Vicarage, Grantchester")

*

the day
had been
tethered to the past

as if it had
refused to move out
of the other century

it had languished in
an Edwardian feel
to everything as if

the clock had stopped
at 10 to 3
and it was time

for tea
perpetually
honey dripping from a spoon

a game of cricket
with good old chaps
splendid in blinding whites

before a War
stopped play
"Howzat!"

the ghost of
other days
"Not out!"

before a red Jag
cruises past
towing the modern age

into its proper position
establishing
the present moment

as the only
time
there is

a radio
somewhere playing
"Ahhhhh.  . .

it's all over
now
baby blue!"
Aug 8 · 27
ALL TAFFETA & TULLE
ALL TAFFETA & TULLE

frightened by the storm
he crawls under
his mother’s skirts

all taffeta & tulle
clinging to her
ankles

before falling
asleep
upon her feet

she continues playing
her cards right
winning all before her

as the candles
gutter
and almost go out

she remembers her body
wrapped about him
her flesh

protecting his innocence
as now her dress
encloses his sleeping

unconsciously stroking
his hair
with her left foot

his dreams
now
pooled at her feet
Aug 8 · 40
LITTLE RED PLANET
LITTLE RED PLANET

Like a perfect little planet
the tiniest strawberry of ever & ever

sat in the universe
of your palm

us two
nothing but specks
(you in a blue dress)  

in the middle of the hugest field
in the world

green as
Forever is.

“Eat it..! ”
you laugh
“...in one bite! ”

Offering me the little red planet
in the universe of your open hand.

I lap at it
licking up the taste of it

intense as
the taste

of ever & ever is

the deliciousness
of your laughter

but the money
in the meter of memory

runs out

and the loveliness
of your laughter

delicious as
a little red planet

(the salty tang of your hand)  

hides
once again

in the mystery of Time.
LEACHT CUIMHNEACHÁIN
( Memorial Monument )

Oh if only I
had an ounce

of your laughter
an iota of a smile

but you are where
all measurement falls away

and time itself
tatters and tears

fades

memory both
blessing and curse

the ghost
of the mind.

I make you a cairn
adding word upon word.

I call your name
to make you real again

"Brian...Brian. . .Brian!"



Yet another anniversary of my little brother's death who was taken from us so early. Sadness stains everything and loneliness bites to the bone.

The best thing I can say about myself is that I am. . .
BRIAN DEMPSEY'S BROTHER


He was chopping wood and I was gathering turf when I had to remark on a little heap of stones: "Ha look at that Bud...ya would swear blind someone had built them up!" And he said: "Yeah...I did!" It looked both natural and at the same time had an arrangement ya wouldn't find in nature. Bud said: "Ya know when ya told me that there is always a little collection of stones placed in some pattern on French graves....well, when I am working I just take a stone from here and there over a period of time and let it build into whatever shape it wants to be. I call it a monument to the moment and I build them ever since Mam died. I take bits and bobs from the landscape and build them to touch the sky in their own little way to talk to herl...to somehow reach her in this little simple act. People either notice or they don't...or walk through them and I just build another  and another in time time after time.

I do this now for him...my little brother and for my Da. But I also build a cairn of words placing one on top of another and let them find their own way and their own balance. So if you are ever passing Dempesys and see a little clump of stones stolen from the landscape to talk to the sky then ya know who they are talking to.

With such little things does one try to fight off the immense sorrow and loneliness.

Words and stones...stones and words...both are never enough...never enough.
Aug 5 · 55
TIME PASSES
TIME PASSES

the tick tick of the bike
a dog barks
letter on a Welcome mat

the midnight tick of time
the house sighs
Dad's whistle

ambushed by the smell
of honeysuckle
I fall into the Past

red barn
blue sky
a summer to last forever

Caruso 78
I listen to the scratches
like Time trying to sing along

I kiss the whorl
of a fingertip then
the all of you

your body
drifting away from me
on a tide of hurt

"I don't like the way
your eyes
touch me!"

starlings fly up
I walk upon close bitten grass
a sheep laughs

a car rusts on the beach
the roofless house
looks out to sea

the sea is sleeping
I watch it breathing
wonder what it's dreaming

the house hunkers down
its window eyes
gaze upon the coming storm

crouching under a cloud
a mountain
frightened by the storm

walking upon
the meniscus of sleep
unable to dive in

& here you are
years later looking like
an out of focus photo of your self
THE WORLD STANDS STILL
( for Ray Pool )

here a flash
of horse

( was it
brown or black? )

there leaping lambs
here leaping lambs

trees finding it im-
possible to keep up

a river giving it a good go: but
...falling behind also

a cow...acowandanothercow: now
all run to-get-her

the 3.33
snorting at the station

pawing at the platform
in a huff

an iron horse
hooting like a mechanical owl

hoooOOOOOOOOOO
ahhhhh at last

the world stands
still.

*

And when ya stick yer head out the window 'cos ya just can't help it and ya know ya have to...you come back in covered in soot and cinders all in yer hair. Ahhh the sheer physicality of it all!
THE HUMANS IN THE ROOM
( for Harry Owen )

"Well..?" said the elephant
"Yeah..." said the dragon
"...it was just as you said!

there I stood
in the middle of the room
huffin' 'n' a puffin'

and nobody
I mean nobody
paid any attention to me."

"See..." trumppted the elephant
I told ya and ya just
didn't believe me...did ya!"

I mean what is it ..."" dragon growled
with humans
it was like I was invisible"

so elephant & dragon
had a party of their own
invited hall the zoo

and any mythical creatures
that they knew
or ones they could imagine

"Humans can go...(hic)
to hell for all
I ****** well care!"

"You can say that again!"
whinnied a half drunk unicorn
dragon lighting its cigarette


"Humans can go...(hic)
to hell...." roared the elephant
getting very very(hic)sick
THE KIND OF THINGS POETS THINK/DO

all its little life
the triangle longed to be
a circle

"I want to get around!"
it piped up
in its little Isosceles voice

"It's...it's preposterous!"
screamed his mother Scalenely
"...whoever heard of such a thing!"

"You should be proud of your lines!"
scolded its grandpa
Equilaterally

"A triangle can not be..."
said his Papa in a right angled kind of way
"...anything other than a triangle!"

"I always felt I was a circle
trapped inside
a triangle's body!"

one day a passing poet
eavesdropped in an idle moment
on what the lines were saying

"Why ever not...why
ever not" said the poet
poet chaps tend to think like that

so he erased the brave
little Isosceles
drew him again as a circle

"Wheee!"
laughed the former Isosceles triangle
delighting in its circle-ness

this is the kind of things
poets think of
poets do


*


Ahhhh this wasn't Maths...this was play...teaching Tilly her triangles as a bedtime story. and the technical terms didn't phase her as they were just luscious sounds and she went marching about the house the next day proclaiming isosceles in a a loud declamatory tone with lots and lots of spit....scalene was also a delight to say with barred teeth which she used to frightened the cat...equal...lat...or real was her brave attempt at the other...so she knew her shapes and what was what and had a lot of fun doing it...she was only 5....and a little tomboy....someone had told her that girls can't do that...so as well as teaching her her triangles....she was also being told that hey....you think it...you can do it...she was only 5....and a little tomboy....someone had told her that girls can't do that...so as well as teaching her her triangles....she was also being told that hey....you think it...you can do it...

This was Tilly's TELL ME A STORY! one night in the long long ago-ness of her girlhood. Little did I know I would be still telling it all these years later..wonders will never cease.
MEETING  LADY WHITMAN AT 86th STREET

sees I'm reading
Whitman
she tells me that

"Yeah that's me sure enough
I'm with the man
'I contain multitudes!'

spouts Leaves of Grass
until the train pulls in
at 86th Street

"Resit much, obey little!"
she offers
as a parting gift

the train
whisks her
far away to wherever

but now every time
I open Whitman
there she is

larger than life
if not larger
'I am large...I contain multitudes!

*

She  was a total expert and had him down pat...she was amazing. Only got a photo 'cos Jan was taking photos of the station and turned to take me just as Lady Whitman took off. It was an experience as if she were the reincarnation of Walt and his words were made flesh.
Aug 2 · 37
BODY AND SOUL
BODY AND SOUL

our cigarette smoke
built up
a spiral staircase

upon which
our conversation climbed
word by word

becoming now
a hieroglyph
blown away by the saxophone

our calligraphy  
of thought
written upon the air

the jazz making it
illegible
as a doctor's signature

words our words
collecting
upon the ceiling

like out of reach
cobwebs
or escaped Christmas balloons

our words looking down
upon us at all that was still left
unsaid
THE ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT

"Oh love is teasing
and love is pleasing. . ."

my sister sings to the cake
she is about to bake.

"And love is a pleasure
when first it's new. . ."

The rich Christmas mix
listens with all of its ingredients.

"Ahhhh but as love gets older
sure love gets colder. . ."

the brandy & fruit
weep into the bowl

"...and fades away like
the morning dew."

There is a lot of brandy in the mix.
There is a lot of brandy in sis.

Sad Irish folk songs
appear to be

the essential ingredient.

A pink and green balloon
clings to the ceiling

refusing to come down
by poker or by broom.

Takes refuge in the corner
just above the Christmas star.

My heart is breaking
with baking.

"I know my love
by his way of talking..."

flour in her hair
making her so ghostly

as if the original protagonist
came back from the grave

and sang her heart out

". ..and I know my love
by his eyes so blue..."

until the creambuttersugar
is all fluffy.

He voice adding a zing
of lemon peel.

At this stage
the eegs are beaten

". . .and if my love leaves me
what will I do?"

Slowly slowly whipped
to form peaks.

Now the cake is tipsy.
So - is sis.

I am drunk
on her singing.

My mind is in mourning
for all the love loved

and lost.

She daubs my nose and laughs.
I lick it off.

The tip of my tongue
a windscreen wiper!

And so the brandy fruit mixture
is folded in.

I can still taste
her singing.

Her cake the only cake
I could ever ate and oh

her almond icing!

These songs forever
her.

And still she sings
down all the years

and I love her versions
the best!

"...and a troubled mind sure
can know no rest

and still she cries bonny boys are few

and if my love leaves me
what will I do!"

*

Ahhh it's such an elemental memory for me...I can at a second's notice step back into it in an instant. I'd bawl my eyes out....the words....the melody....everything was real to me.

Couldn't possibly forget these songs and the singer...they stained my soul. She used to sing them very quietly and so soft and tender....even today they haven't been surpassed...they used to **** me. And when she got to the bit where "...he takes a strange ******* his knee and he tells her things that he once told me..." it was all much too much! I thought they were exquisite!

Her voice and that moment tied to her apron strings lives forever in my mind. It is a little jewel of time that has never diminished ever. I was too young to understand the brandy factor and could never understand how other people's cake and almond icing just couldn't get next or near to my sister's!

My big sister hated my poetry and said "You can't be writing poetry 'cos you are my brother!" i pointed out that a certain Mr. Cohen had a sister and that didn't stop him( not that I was comparing myself to Lenny). Whenever anybody else liked it she was furious and couldn't understand why for heaven's sake. Nevertheless when I wrote about this little moment she changed her tune and was thrilled to be remembered in such a touching moment.
Jul 28 · 174
OLD POND
OLD POND

old pond
half sunk doll
mouth open in silent scream

one eye sunk
below waterline
tiny hand grasping the air

take her hand
between forefinger and thumb
lift her out of her watery world

I take her home
bathe her
put her to sleep with my daughter

put her little clothes
on back of chair
in front of range

in the morning
my daughter's tears
"Oh Dolly...you've come back!"

one eye closes slowly
in a wink to me
I wink quickly back

Dolly getting dressed
scolded by my daughter
for not staying still
". . .IT IS NOW THE TIME...THESE BE THE DAYS. . ."

one day
blossomed
into another

Spring
was seen
walking in the wood

Time
lay scattered
all around

last Tuesday was
a bunch of flowers
wilting in a vase

Tomorrow
remained
to be plucked

as if he grasped
the mystery
of the world

in his tiny fist
that now
( this now )

was the only
time
that could be

life is simple
when one is
      3



And indeed to my little three year old self( although I would not encountered the poem itself until I was twelve)the world to me was a most miraculous marvelous and magnificent place to find myself in...I was living in the first verse of Mangan's poem and...loving it!

Any school boy of my generation would know James Clarence Mangan's A Vision of Connaught in the Thirteenth Century with its hypnotic refrain...which got stuck in my brain.

"But it was the time,
'T was in the reign,
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand."
"And it is the time.
These be the days,
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand!"
"It is now the time.
These be the years.
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand!"
'T was then the time.
We were in the days.
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand.
That I dreamed this dream
Of the time and reign
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand




A VISION OF CONNAUGHT IN THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY

I walked entranced
Through a land of morn;
The sun, with wondrous excess of light,
Shone down and glanced
Over seas of corn
And lustrous gardens aleft and right.
Even in the clime
Of resplendent Spain
Beams no such sun upon such a land;
But it was the time,
'T was in the reign,
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand.
Anon stood nigh
By my side a man
Of princely aspect and port sublime.
Him queried I,
"O my Lord and Khan,
What clime is this, and what golden time?"
When he,—" The clime
Is a clime to praise,
The clime is Erin's, the green and bland;
And it is the time.
These be the days,
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand!"
Then saw I thrones
And circling fires,
And a dome rose near me, as by a spell.
Whence flowed the tones
Of silver lyres.
And many voices in wreathed swell;
And their thrilling chime
Fell on mine ears
As the heavenly hymn of an angel-band,—
"It is now the time.
These be the years.
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand!"
I sought the hall,
And, behold! a change
From light to darkness, from joy to woe!
King, nobles, all,
Looked aghast and strange;
The minstrel-group sate in dumbest show!
Had some great crime
Wrought this dread amaze,
This terror? None seemed to understand!
'T was then the time.
We were in the days.
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand.
I again walked forth;
But lo! the sky
Showed fleckt with blood, and an alien sun
Glared from the north,
And there stood on high,
Amid his shorn beams, a skeleton!
It was by the stream
Of the castled Main,
One autumn eve, in the Teuton's land.
That I dreamed this dream
Of the time and reign
Of Cahal Mor of the Wine-red Hand
"FOR HE WILL NOT DO DESTRUCTION IF..."

everything in the room
flowed like a river

towards the open window
that held Spring in its grasp

the billowing net curtains
holding the season prisoner

a blue so blue
one has to gasp

a green that made
one feel so alive

even the walls
rushed towards it

trying to escape
their own room

a chair
lying on its back

like an insect
trying to right itself

but furious
at failing

a picture had been
knocked sideways

and a trail
of broken mirror

led to the ledge
showing the room itself

in small and smaller
fragments

the clock alarmed
to find itself

on the carpet
its battery flung just

out of reach
time gone quiet

the cat careless
of this trail of destruction

now poised
upon the shiny table

knocking over
the geranium ***

gazing in green
eyes towards

the portal
of the open window

that led to
the great beyond

the feline leaping
into the what's to come

leaving this human
room behind

*

The title is taken from one of the most delightful and best-known poems in praise of a house cat, Christopher Smart’s “My Cat, Jeoffry” which is actually one section of a much more complex and difficult work entitled Jubilate Agno (Latin for “Rejoice in the Lamb”), composed while the poet was locked in a private madhouse because of religious mania in 1759 or 1760.

For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God, duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
For is this done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in.
For having done duty and received blessing he begins to consider himself.
For this he performs in ten degrees.
For first he looks upon his forepaws to see if they are clean.
For secondly he kicks up behind to clear away there.
For thirdly he works it upon stretch with the forepaws extended.
For fourthly he sharpens his paws by wood.
For fifthly he washes himself.
For sixthly he rolls upon wash.
For seventhly he fleas himself, that he may not be interrupted upon the beat.
For eighthly he rubs himself against a post.
For ninthly he looks up for his instructions.
For tenthly he goes in quest of food.
WHEN DEATH COMES, IT WILL HAVE YOUR EYES
(Verrà la morte e avrà i tuoi occhi )

I once knew a man
who knew a man
who had seen

F. Scott Fitzgerald
drinking a milkshake
in a drug store

(vanilla or chocolate
he couldn't be sure)
flicking idly

through a magazine
( no he didn't know
which magazine )

in the company of
some blonde
"I'll never forget what he said!"

"Let's go
to the supermarket
Shelia!" he said

and that's it?
"That's it!"
his voice caressed

each syllable
as if
he were on stage

but he was
like a man
becoming a manakin

like in that episode of
The Twilight Zone
you know the one?"

in a future
that had as yet
to happen

"I don't know
what I had
expected..."

the man who knew the man
who knew the man
who had seen and heard

F. Scott Fitzgerald.
"Maybe a Gatsby or a Gatsby
who had survived

the novel's
tragic ending
and wished he hadn't!"



Here now at home
Mr. Fitzgerald
sits in his armchair

eating a chocolate bar
checking out next year's
Princeton football team

suddenly like a puppet
yanked on a string
he stands up

hand on mantlepiece
like some bad acting
in a silent movie

before falling
to the floor
he will never get up



Nick and Gatsby
come
stand by his dying

so do Monroe Stahr
and Kathleen Moore
even though

words fail them
yet they now
more real than he

Monroe reads
some last
scribbled lines

"There was a flutter
from the wings of God
and you lay dead

your  books
were in your desk I guess
and some unfinished chaos

in your head
was dumped to nothing
by the great janitress of

destinies."
Gatsby
closes his eyes.

*

WHEN DEATH COMES, IT WILL HAVE YOUR EYES(Verrà la morte e avrà i tuoi occhi )is of course the wonderful poem by Cesare Pavese.

Monroe and Kathleen are from Scott's last and unfinished novel THE LAST TYCOON.

I also knew a guy who knew a guy who peed beside Richard Brautigan. He was so in awe as to who was at the next ****** that he peed all over the top of his shoes.

Shelia of course being Sheliah Graham who was a powerhouse gossip maven in Hollywood’s Golden Age. Her “Hollywood Today” column was carried in 178 papers, at its peak. By comparison, the columns of her better-remembered rivals, Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper, were only carried in 100 papers and 68 papers, respectively.
She wrote two books about her life with Fitzgerald, Beloved Infidel (with Gerold Frank) in 1958, and The Garden of Allah in 1969. Beloved Infidel starring Gregory Peck as Scott and Deborah Kerr as Sheilah Graham, was filmed in 1959 at around the time the hotel where much of it was set was being demolished.
Jul 25 · 39
AHHHH PEACE AT LAST!
AHHHH PEACE AT LAST!

the goat
is in
the kitchen

the chicken
is in
the living room

the dog
is in
the bedroom

the cat
is on
the mat

the cow is
mooing
in the window

the humans are out
visiting
other humans

in the next village
if one
could call it that

the landscape
is asleep
in the sun

the animals
have the house
to themselves

*

First ever Greek holiday....always remember to lock the door. The goat was the ringleader who butted into our private space and of course the others followed...guess they must have read ANIMAL FARM.
'OH...I SAY!"
( for Harry  Owen )

"I bagged this one
out in In-dee-A!"

...the braggart's boast.

"It's a very rare
( these days)ALGERNON!"

And indeed, an Algernon
bares his teeth

above the roaring fire's
mantlepiece.

He looks startled as
he has been shot just -  that second.

"The head is splendidly mounted
complete with handlebar moustache

...& monocle!"

One feels that one could
pop next door and there

would be ha ha...the rest of
Algernon

sticking out the other side.

The glint in the eye
the sneer just so

...right.

"And to the right of the Algernon
is a genuine Cuthbert.

Again from 1901 or there or
thereabouts."

"It is indeed a perfect specimen of
the good old chap..."

The white rhino brags yet again
of what he calls his baggings.

White Rhino's
collection of colonials

is the envy of
all the other animals.

"Some more hot *** old chum?"

But the White Tiger
puts a paw over his glass.

Declines.

The fire's flickering
leaping up the wall.

The shadows making
the humans almost

come alive

as if the Cuthbert
could turn to the Algernon

and say
"OH...I SAY!
Jul 24 · 54
CUFF LINK
CUFF LINK

Death steps out
of the mirror.

It has the colour
of your eyes and

your most perfect
smile.

And slowly as you
watch

adjusting a recalcitrant
bow tie

it becomes you
until it all but

resembles you
you the heap on the floor

bow tie still
slightly askew.

And you step into the mirror
and it closes behind you.

"How Cocteau-ish?"
you think.

Death takes your place
pretends its really you.

Your wife's screams
a flock of birds

startling to the skies
the first rain falls.

A cuff link rolls under the bed
that won't be found

until a month later
silver the one that says

father.
Jul 23 · 37
A HUMAN IS CRYING
A HUMAN IS CRYING

The dog is dreaming
under the piano

asleep across
its foot pedals.

The clock announces
the seconds

in a loud hear ye hear ye
town crier's voice.

A bumble bee is arguing
furiously with the glass

of a cracked
window pane.

Time is defeated.

A human is crying.

Time is different
for the clock, the bee and

the crying human.

Time ceases to exist
lost in his grief.

His brother is dead.

Somewhere in the journey
around the sun

he has left the planet.

Earth continues on
without him.

He sees his brother
everywhere.

Strangers
wear his face.

Walk with his gait.

He almost expects
to hear

his voice in the dark
at the turn of the stairs.

He sees him many times
in many mirrors.

Or in the back of a spoon.

His face trapped
in a cobweb.

It always appears
as if...as if

he has just left
the room and

will be back
any second now

but: he isn't. . .

The dog is still
asleep under the piano.

The clock has run
out of time.

The silence is terrifying.

The bee it seems is
dozing on the window ledge.

The human
is crying.

*

My brother's death stripped me of everything...the who I am...my name...my identity...I was reduced down to this human symbol...just like the dog...the this...the that...who as it happens is...crying. As if a computer was merely registering the things in the picture.
Jul 22 · 29
I NEVER HAS SEEN SNOW
I NEVER HAS SEEN SNOW

I lived my life as if
I had been written
into a Barbara Pym novel

so prim and proper lady I
my soul smoother'd in camphor
yet my life...wot the mot hath got

and here I be
curled upon the Persian rug
in the foetal position

being born
into my dying
as it were

me an elaborate motif
beside an exquisite phoenix
oh the warp and woof of me

so this is death
rather nice
as these things go

not too much( ouch )pain
more easeful and slow and
when ya gotta go...ya...gotta go

rather like that Manx man
was it Brown...or...something
"...if thou couldst empty..." oh what is it?

"...all thy self of self
to be a shell dishabited..."
bit like ha ha that...innit( agghh )

wonder what an anthropologist
from...say...Borneo
would make of me

I'd guess I'd be
so quaintly ever so English
so cue-cumber sandwich

settling down with a Pimms and a Pym
being one of those Excellent Women
**** this dying....haven't even read the book

only got as far as
p.15...how mean
the great unread

the words sticking in my brain
something being "...a welcoming
sort of place...

with a bright entrance..."
as if Mr. Death were saying
"Why...that's what I am!"

"Yeah, yeah...sure sure'"
I answer all Film Noir
another of life's little pleasures

the stuffed bird
stares at me sternly
deigns to speak

"Now that you are going to be
as dead as me...may I
have a word?"

it coughs unaccustomed
as it is
to public speech

"It's not so bad
being dead
it's being stuffed that hurts!"

the cat joins in
with its customary "I'm starving...
ya couldn't open this tin?"

now the cat howls
oh to have opposable thumbs
or a can opener at least

the stuffed bird and the cat and I
singing along to Beverly Kenny
smiling from the record sleeve

"Oh this used to be
my favourite as a girl
'I Never Has Seen Snow."

"Oh the girl I used to be
she ain't me no more!"
I could always carry a tune

the stuffed bird can't
sing for nuts but
the cat's got a good tenor voice

me...I'm letting go
the world is walking out on me
the world don't want to know me no more

I've even forget
can you Adam and Eve it
how to spell... fo'c's'le

my garden looks in
the window at me
well here's a howdy do

I never was '...a lovesome thing..."
even when young
"God wot!"

hee hee hee T.E. Brown
appears to invade the mind
when one is dying

and what would that Borneo
anthropologist make of that
or my love of Jazz

grabbing the music
by the tail as it shape-shifts
improvises world upon world and beyond

oh to be dying
in a smokey jazz club
thoughts climbing a spiral staircase of smoke

"All that is...is not!"
now I wonder where
I got ha ha that

would the man from Borneo know
that is Phil Woods on
the Quincey Jones arrangement

"Oh I love sax me!
never could say the same
for ***

well - enough of that
better get on with
my death

and what better way to go
than with Beverly singing low
always thought I looked a bit like her

she smiles that record sleeve smile
the one I tried to sculpt
upon my own features

"I saw a new horizon
and a road to take me
where I wanted to be...needed to be.... took"

"God! I'm only starving!" yowls the cat
"Ya couldn't feed me before ya go...no
**** those...**** those cans!"

"Oh ****...oh ****!" she purrs
the record's...the record's...the record's
stuck
Jul 21 · 69
LIFELINES
LIFELINES

her dead husband
trapped
behind glass

laughs
from his
faded photograph

he stands
in a field
of wallpaper roses

she knits & knits
as if she was knitting
Time

Time is cast on
she never
drops a stitch

"Purl..purl...purl"
her tabby
purrs

at night she unravels
the day's knitting
as if disposing of all

that wasted time
Time is cast off
tomorrow she will begin again

the endless endless knitting
that is neither
scarf or cardigan or a... nothing

a car headlight sweeps
across her husband's face
brings him alive for an instant

and then he is
dead
forever again

the knitting needles
pierce the blue
ball of wool

that will be tomorrow
sleep at last is
kind to her

she hopes Death
will find her soon
so that

tomorrow
need not be
knitted. . .

*

A lifeline is a strand of yarn that is inserted into the work so that, if an error is encountered, it is easy to rip back to that point. Lifelines are often used in lace knitting. Leave lifelines in your work until the piece is complete. To insert a lifeline, thread a tapestry needle with…
Jul 20 · 39
GOD GOES FOR A WALK
GOD GOES FOR A WALK

God goes
for a walk.

it is the depths of Winter
but, at a whim

he makes it
...Spring.

Because.
He can.

I also, as it happens
have gone for a walk

& am surprised by
the sudden change of

the weather. . ?
...whatever!

He is wearing a yellow
gangster style fedora.

He looks like Marlon Brando
being The Godfather.

He sports the brightest of yellow
waistcoats

which compliments
the purple shirt...purple trousers.

He strides along with His
Paisley patterned  Parisian walking stick

whistling the music of
The Spheres.

The World bows
before him.

He is well pleased
with Himself, un-

-til: He encounters me
coming towards him

dressed in a gangster style
yellow fedora

the brightest of yellow waistcoats
not to mention the purple shirt...purple trousers.

I, also, possess
a Paisley patterned  Parisian walking stick.

We nod politely
saying nothing but...

He is miffed at me
wearing His outfit and

I also miffed at Him
wearing mine!

We pass each other
God & creature.

And God...**** if He doesn't
make it Winter

on the very next step.

He was always
a Jealous God.

*

Two of my friends found themselves in that awful party situation where they turned up in the same frock and same hairstyle and same makeup. One would have thought it was done on purpose or that they had indeed been cloned. They had the good grace to laugh it off and pretended they were twins! This made me wonder what would happen if God decided to embody himself and take a walk about his world just so to see what it was like from our point of view. He choose the most outlandish style of dress( not knowing that it was exactly what I have been known to wear on many occasions )thus creating the ensuing fracas when our paths cross. Thus it is that a poem is created from the party/frock happening and an idle whim of mine as I find myself out for a perambulation. Ahhh...the mind of the walking poet...one would have thought that I would have seen a host of golden daffodils but instead into my ever walking mind came this thought. Mea Culpa!
AS THIS MOMENT THOU ART

The wood shavings curl &
curl to my father's voice

as he sings to the wood
releasing its scent

wave upon wave
of pine

crashing upon
this shore of summer

its morning long
forgotten.

This wood will shape shift
into a chair leg

dovetailing into
the song he sings

as the wood listens
to every syllable

as if his singing
coaxed into being

chair leg...window frame
stool or saddle.

"Oh believe me if al those
endearing young charms..."

and the wood swoons
to his planing

'''...that I gaze at so
fondly today."

Moore's melodies and pine
reaches back in time

to grasp
the moment

lost to my mind
but now returning

to its rightful place
as wood becomes chair leg

to my father's
singing



BELIEVE ME IF ALL THOSE ENDEARING YOUNG CHARMS

Air—My Lodging is on the cold Ground

I.
Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,
    Which I gaze on so fondly to-day,
Were to change by to-morrow, and fleet in my arms,
    Like fairy-gifts fading away,—
Thou wouldst still be ador'd as this moment thou art,
    Let thy loveliness fade as it will;
And, around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
    Would entwine itself verdantly still!

II.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
    And thy cheeks unprofan'd by a tear,
That the fervour and faith of a soul can be known,
    To which time will but make thee more dear!
Oh! the heart, that has truly lov'd, never forgets,
    But as truly loves on to the close;
As the sun-flower turns on her god, when he sets,
    The same look which she turn'd when he rose!
PÚCA ULCHABHÁN( GHOST OWL)

"So, it's afraid of the dark y'are?"
Uncle Mikey squints at me.

I give a nod hoping
the dark doesn't hear me.

This is not just dark
but country dark.

Unable to even catch sight of
my own hand in front of my face.

As if the darkness
had solidified around me.

My body melted away
and I only a tangle of thoughts

floating through the air
being both there and not there.

"Sure don't ya know
your grandfather was born a ghost!"

Uncle Mikey attempts to
comfort my six year old self

"And sure wasn't your grandmother
a banshee for over a century or more!"

Granny in her chair
turns up her eyes.

I sit stunned at
all these revelations.

"And your grandfather
had a terrible habit of

turning into
an owl!"

I can hardly believe
what I am hearing.

"So if the dark
ever comes after ya..."

"Yes...yes...!"
I wait with baited breath.

"Then your grandfather
will give a hoot and

no one not even the dark will argue
with a  a natural born ghost!"

Outside an owl hoots.
Uncle smiles to himself.

After that the dark can't
lay a finger on me.

*

Nyctophobia struck deep into the heart of my six year old self. I was a townie and the dark never touched me until I experienced Cork country dark which was terrifying...you simply vanished into it as if it had consumed you and you were in the belly of the beast. Uncle Mikey had a unique way of dissolving the dark for me and did a good impression of an owl as well.

It was a strange sort of comforting but it worked...after that I always thought the dark was afraid of me and didn't want to argue with a natural born ghost!
Jul 17 · 40
MANY CHILDREN AGO
MANY CHILDREN AGO

an old broken doll
remembers her first Christmas
many children ago

now,
only the rain
plays with her hair

*

Whilst "helping" me in the garden...sifting sand like flour...Tilly discovered an eye looking up at her..."The ground is looking at me!" It turned out to be a broken Victorian doll who was glad to see us after all this time and adopted us at once. To my little one this old thing was a living being just like her self and she cried and cried and cried. She slept that night with dreams pouring out of her porcelain skull with a Tilly cuddled up beside her.

I was teaching my little 8 year olds how to write a haiku so I wrote this on the blackboard...it just emerged from the chalk! I had started to show them how with the extra two lines we could extend it into a tanka and was working on it when the bell went and so...it just remained as it was...work in progress..
Jul 16 · 31
TALKING TO THE FOLKS
TALKING TO THE FOLKS

I was talking to the folks
back in oh

I don't know
1904?

They didn't know me and
I didn't know them

from Adam
but what the heck

folks is folks.

They were my folks
living their 1904 lives

unaware of a me
they didn't exist

as yet.

My Granda hadn't as yet
got around to making

my Da and my Da
hadn't yet invented me.

Not even a photo exists
of who they used to be.

No black&white or sepia people
to ponder upon and wonder.

Hey he's wearing my ear
and she's got my smile

plastered all over
her face.

And so I go
back to the past

walk the roads
they walked

see the skies
they lived under

listen to them talk
the things they may have said

lean against a wall
they would have leant against

solid brick against my back
soaking up the sun

of 1904.

"Howdy folks!"
I'd say

leaping out of my time
machine of words.

And the folks would say:
"So, you're Donall, eh?"

in their kind Dempsey way
smile their 1904 smiles.

"Delighted to meet you at
. . .last."

they'd laugh
in their Corkonian way.

"Them words are a mighty fine
time machine!"

nodding their heads
in time.

"What's it run on?"
they'd ask

in their 1904 way.

"Oh...!" I'd say
in my 21st Century voice

"Thought,
just
pure thought!"
Jul 15 · 27
LOVE CHARM
LOVE CHARM

I kiss your philtrum
and you moan.

I lick a tiny trickle
of sweat

from it.

I know
it has no

apparent function
& survives

between your delightful nose
& your delicious upper lip.

But what
of it?

A kiss
fits

so
neatly

into
it.

And leads to lips
& lips upon lips

ending in an ******
ellipsis . . .

I love to look
upon it

as the indent left
by the finger of God

or where an angel
shushes the yet-to-be-born

teaching it to forget
all it has learned

in the world
of the womb.

I kiss again
your philtrum

a kiss
fits

so
neatly

into
it.
Jul 14 · 27
NOW, WE IS: 60!"
NOW, WE IS: 60!

A Year 8 child
enquires how old I be?

"I be
just...60!"

He gasps.

"My God...you're very active
for 60!"

60 for him is
a distant planet

in a galaxy far far
from here.

Yea...another
dimension.

I smile my 60 year old smile
perfected by now.

I am starlight
that will only reach him

when he is
60 himself

if he ever
remembers what he has

long ago
forgotten.

*

"For today is part of yesterday. And yesterday and today are parts of being alive. And being alive is not just an affair of the days going clonk-clonk like the pendulum of a grandfather clock:being alive is something continuous, that does not repeat; something that one should be aware of all the time, sleeping and waking. . .
it may not last much longer."

John Wyndham Parkes Lucas Benyon Harris aka
JOHN WYNDHAM

"Wild Flower" from THE SEEDS OF TIME.
Jul 14 · 41
LE RÊVE DE LA CHAMBRE
LE RÊVE DE LA CHAMBRE

the room
so much

wanted
to get outside

of itself
always its dream

its windows were
constantly telling

of the world
they looked upon

but this was just
a story to the room

it envied the furniture
which came and went

telling of adventures
and other lives

that they had lived
almost as interesting

as the room's humans
who also came and went

with great regularity
as if there were a constant

crop of them
face after face

tomorrow was
demolition day

maybe there was
a new life to be had

*

One day the room was beside itself it was so eager to get outside itself but then the next day it had no self and was no longer a room just empty space with only the memory of itself standing in the air. I hope it is enjoying itself in its new occupation as a a breeze and a piece of sky.
Jul 13 · 70
HAIR! HAIR!
HAIR! HAIR!

HAIR! HAIR!

de Ma
couldn't bear to part
with any of me

not allowing circumcision
or indeed
the cutting of hair

and so my curls
cascade over
my tiny shoulders

until one day
de Da kidnapped  me
for my first haircut

the cut curls
falling at my feet
"There now!" said me Da

he made me swear
I wouldn't tell
me Ma

I kept my word
yet somehow she
knew

locked herself
in her room
for a week

refusing to
even speak
with me poor auld Da

and yet I survived
the shearing
and lived to tell

the tale
lost now
in time

I now an auld fella
curls cascading over
my elderly shoulders
Jul 13 · 35
MY WAR
MY WAR

the bomb fell on the graveyard
the dead laughed
they were used to being dead

the moss had eaten their names
the dead could not remember
who they were

a batch of kids
clutching gas masks
afraid of the sky

blackberries and air raid sirens
his name on cardboard around his neck
they were living the war

the war
had invaded their lives
bombs had become normal

the gas mask
left out in the storm
filling up with rain

he didn't like the gas masks
they turned people
into insects

"A carrot on a stick!"
instead of an ice cream
"but then I'd never had ice cream!"

"Carrots can't
stand them to this day!"
clouds reflected in his eyes

Daddy was up in the air
fighting in the sky
I never cried when he died

he went up in the air
and stayed there
"Next door to Heaven!" Mum says

strange creatures in a field
cows I think they're called
I'm afraid they'll eat me




He'd never seen a cow 'til then and to him it was just a rather large animal lumbering towards him with hunger in its eyes and its mouth gnashing as it went. To a seven year old boy it was just a seven year old boy eater. He ran screaming madly from poor old Daisy who wouldn't have hurt a fly only swished at it with her tail. Like you he came to love cows in his time.


Tom telling me that once upon a time a long time ago there was a War and a little boy somehow survived it and came through it. He said the War took his childhood and left a changeling in its place. "You had your childhood...I had History!" We tend to forget what the person in front of us has actually lived through. To me it was a story in a history book...to him...his life. So I wanted to write it for him in his words scrawled across my mind.
He'd never seen a cow 'til then and to him it was just a rather large animal lumbering towards him with hunger in its eyes and its mouth gnashing as it went. To a seven year old boy it was just a seven year old boy eater. He ran screaming madly from poor old Daisy who wouldn't have hurt a fly only swished at it with her tail. Like you he came to love cows in his time.
My poem riffed on W. B. Yeats' great Civil War poem( The Stare's Nest at my Window ). All three poems try to hold on to the beauty of the world as the world falls apart. Sometimes all we have to fight it with is the innocence of a child.
One poem turns to the other as the centre can not hold...and a terrible beauty is born.

AND THE KEY IS TURNED ON OUR OWN UNCERTAINTY.
He still called a starling
a stare.
I watched his voice
as the bird in his words
flitted from Yeats to Shakespeare to
Pliny the Elder before
landing in the Mabinogion.
Outside
in the real world
a starling was
being its
noisy and gregarious
self.
The walls between literature
and the real world
are loosening.
He has fed my heart
on fantasies.
Memory crumbles
back into the earth
I carry from your grave
on my new shoes.
The clock I see
still stands
at twenty past four
as it has done for years.
Your voice comes
and builds
in the empty house
of my heart.
*
The Stare's Nest by My Window
The bees build in the crevices
Of loosening masonry, and there
The mother birds bring grubs and flies.
My wall is loosening; honey-bees,
Come build in the empty house of the stare.
We are closed in, and the key is turned
On our uncertainty; somewhere
A man is killed, or a house burned.
Yet no clear fact to be discerned:
Come build in the empty house of the stare.
A barricade of stone or of wood;
Some fourteen days of civil war:
Last night they trundled down the road
That dead young soldier in his blood:
Come build in the empty house of the stare.
We had fed the heart on fantasies,
The heart's grown brutal from the fare,
More substance in our enmities
Than in our love; O honey-bees,
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

W.B. Yeats
Jul 13 · 49
OUTRUNNING THE WORLD
OUTRUNNING THE WORLD

You ran and
the world couldn't keep up with you.

Here, in your third year
you discovered falling.

As if the world had
tripped up.

You look at your grazed knee
amazed at your self.

Blood oozes
from your chubby little skin.

I cry.
You do not.

You are just amazed that
there is an inside to you

that can somehow
leak out.

You dip a finger in
taste the redness.

Your laughter
is a spring

that bubbles out.

You can not understand
my tears.

My feeling your pain
on your behalf.

Or in this case
your "not-pain."

"Daddy - not cry!"
you comfort me.

You dry my eyes
with golden curls.

"Tilly run again...see?"

And you do so
to prove a point.

And once again
you are immortal

outrun the world.

Leaving your father
further and further

behind you.

You run into your future.
Become your self.

A tiny thin scar
the only reminder

of a pain only I
can remember.
JIKANWA TOMARU(TIME IS STOPPED)

The dead were talking to me
in black and white.

Complained all the colour
had gone out of their voice.

Complained they lived their lives
like they were a movie.

The illusion of living
rather than the thing itself.

You know...that thing
"cinema is truth

24 frames
per second."

We call it
"Waiting for Godard" syndrome.

"Oh our "story has a beginning
middle and an end but. . .

. . .not necessarily
in that order."

Sometimes it slows to
just a still or

Godard help us
only a publicity photograph.

We look at your living
envious of your movement.

Your ability to
change and be

something then
something new again.

We can remember
doing that without thinking.

God it's hard.
So hard to see you

take it all
for granted.

What we would give
just to be aware

of a leaf
trembling on a tree.

Or a bird taking flight
into a summer.

Or see a stone
skim across water.

World has become
tiny as a tittle

on an i or
a j

or how was it the Bible put it
". . .till heaven and earth pass. . ."

Earth time is so
brief.

Blink and you
will miss it.

We thirst for even one
of your seconds.

Hunger for the time
you so nonchalantly throw away.

Here....there
is...no time.
"JIKANWA TOMARU!"
"JIKANWA TOMARU!"
"JIKANWA TOMARU!"

"Time is stopped!
Time is stopped!
Time is stopped!"

They kept repeating
...in Japanese.
!!!!!!!HOPPY BIRD DAY!!!!!!!

just shy of
almost 35 inches high
she perches on my arm

sobs into my shirt cuff
her 4th birthday looms large

for her
& us
...the big 04!

she cries she doesn't
want to grow old
& die!

fears her birthday as
the Grim Reaper himself
calling in person

"Birthdays..." I console her
are just like breathing
in&out

stop 'em & - you're gone!
you don't have birthdays then
no more you!

birthdays are how you
keep making you
happen!

my little eyassvall tears & snot
brightens up at this
sniffs & sniffles

I tell her
you are the sky
all endless & blue

time the wings
that lets you
fly

Death, snickers
standing by my shoulder
"Ahhh...ya old haggard ya

that's a nice pretty lie
to dry
a nestling's tears."

I watch her fly
into the endless blue
of her self

smile as she
embraces
her now

I hop on one
leg
hoppty hop

"HOPPY BIRD DAY!"
I shout against the glare
of time and sun

she squeals
excited now
as to the who

she is
going to
be

both of us
hopping down
the path together
AND THE KEY IS TURNED ON OUR OWN UNCERTAINTY

He still called a starling
a stare.

I watched his voice
as the bird in his words

flitted from Yeats to Shakespeare to
Pliny the Elder before

landing in the Mabinogion.

Outside
in the real world

a starling was
being its

noisy and gregarious
self.

The walls between literature
and the real world

are loosening.

He had fed my heart
on fantasies.

Memory crumbles
back into the earth

I carry from his grave
on my new shoes.

The clock I see
still stands

at twenty past four
as it has done for years.

Your voice comes
and builds

in the empty house
of my heart.

*


The Stare's Nest by My Window

The bees build in the crevices
Of loosening masonry, and there
The mother birds bring grubs and flies.
My wall is loosening; honey-bees,
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

We are closed in, and the key is turned
On our uncertainty; somewhere
A man is killed, or a house burned.
Yet no clear fact to be discerned:
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

A barricade of stone or of wood;
Some fourteen days of civil war:
Last night they trundled down the road
That dead young soldier in his blood:
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

We had fed the heart on fantasies,
The heart's grown brutal from the fare,
More substance in our enmities
Than in our love; O honey-bees,
Come build in the empty house of the stare.

W.B. Yeats
I FEEL PRETTY...OH SO...PRETTY!

I a...
...wake

covered in glorious glitter
smelling strongly of PVA glue

sticking to my cheek
very

hung
over

& covered in blueorange
yellowred feathers

a bubble
recently blown

perched upon
my nose

I...still....half coma...tose

tiny bubbles travel
amongst my curls

as through
a bigger bubble brightly

nestling neatly
over my right eye

I observe
my tiny daughter

purse her lips
& kiss

more bubbles
into being.

“Till...y! ”

I force my lips
(still frozen in sleep)

to some
how speak:

“What...you...do? ”

(even my syntax and sentence structuring is shot)

She smiles sweetly: “I’m
...pretty-ing you! ”
Jul 11 · 44
MIRROR
MIRROR

the mirror
holds your face
unwilling to let it go

refusing
to believe
you can be dead

all the many yous
it got to know
the daily tasks of morning

here you brush your teeth
here you shaving
here you cutting yourself

we tidy up your flat
the bric-a-brac of you
all that's left to us

how unbelievably painful
the tiny things  are
a book forever left unread

a single shoe
the lost shoe
kicked under the bed

our cards
our letters
to you

and when I come back
into your bathroom
the mirror has lost you

the mirror
has let you go
in a flash of sunlight

now it only shows me
me
the agony of my grief
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