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MAYBE MINUS AN ANT OR TWO

after the picnic
they rolled up the sky
folded up

that particular patch of grass
plucked a few trees
put the sun back in its box

the kisses they hid
deep within themselves
so that

many years later
they could
unroll the whole shebang

savour the same scenario

down to the last dotted "i"
down to the last crossed "t"
maybe minus an ant or two

dressed as it is
in memory
but keeping the essential

ingredients...
the you...the I
until once again

it is
just as
it was

*


It's about a perfect day and with one last glance one tries to remember everything...burn it into the mind...each perfect detail. But Memory that imperfect creature will choose what to put in?leave out and so the stinging ants...out they go!
MY GHOST CHATTING TO MYSELF

knife flashes through flesh
the stunned silence
the wild scream of red

the pastpresentfuture
flows from the wound
time is thicker than blood

the assassination of Time
the body dying
to its sense of self

the world
leaking into
nothingness

my ghost
chatting to my self
in an amiable manner

the dead enemy
staring at
my dying

my friend whispers
"I'm not going to let you
die in this jungle!"

never thought I'd live to be
the old man
I am now

the friend who saved me
dead
only a week later

still remember the stare
of the Japanese soldier
looking bewildered he was dead.

*

What it takes to be a soldier...**** or be killed...he told me that he still sees that man every day of his life...the sweat on his skin...the sweet smell of his breath...the shadow of his eyelashes..

It was like watching a human being being turned inside out....the act of killing somehow dehumanises you...it doesn't matter that in this hand-to-hand fighting you literally come face to face with the person who is basically just another you and you...**** him by making this him ...an IT...**** or be killed but you also **** a part of your self to do it...the fall out is like an emotional atomic bomb that blights the rest of your life and poisons your future...it stops you being a normal human being...you know both what death is and what it is like to be death.
DU TEMPS PERDU

weather vane
rusted into a NNW
still facing into the long ago

paying little heed
to time or what
way the wind blows

the peal of a bell
nails our shadows
to the hard ground

the sharpness of sunshine
outlining everything
it touches

the smack of bat on ball
****** of tea things
broken china cup "...howzat!"

our shadows get up
walk silently away
they have business elsewhere

so here we are
trapped in this
one moment

staring blindly
into a future
we can not know

the white border
of the photograph
contains us

it is no longer
the 1930's
storm clouds gather

another generation holds us
between forefinger and thumb
war has come and gone

they must wonder what
we were
thinking when it was taken

we stare out at them
staring in at us
each unable to imagine the other

they remark that we
have their eyes...their faces
the resemblance there for all to see

they could just as easily
be us
"Ha ha...that's us...in fancy dress."

time doesn't seem
to have a moved
the weathervane still

doesn't know
which way
to turn
TO NOT TO BE OR TO BE

I travel into my death
forgetting this world of now
that has all but forgotten me

this world looks so
insignificant
like a planet reduced to a full stop

being dead
felt so alive
I didn't give the world a second thought

"...to infinity &. . .beyond!"
I grin to my self
seems a sense of humour survives

glad to lose the body
never did get on with it
think I'm going to enjoy just being thought

that's it
just thought
I think myself into being

I'm still me
only
minus my body

I think
then I am
my own creation

I've been to
nowhere & back
now I am an everywhere

here I am
& here I am not
the mesh of existence

I try to explain
my self to
my not-self

so now I
understand it all
it's. . .

*

A friend of mine telling me what it was like to die and then...not to die.
SHADOW PLAY

the shadow
(it seems)      
creates this stone

that I
(motionless
& still)      

sit upon
as if it were the centre
of this world

it is the summer
of my childhood
& the world

is making itself
known
to me

my mind
hungry
to learn

my own shadow
chained to me
like a soul to a body

longing
to escape
my mortality

it lies
like a fallen angel
thirsting for a Heaven

crestfallen at my feet
shadow plays
hide & seek

amongst the leaves
sunlight laughingly
chasing it

birds write
the notation of themselves
upon the telegraph lines

sounds morph
into each other
the moo of a cow

becoming the murmur
of a bee I try to understand
the existence of a me

the five-bar gate
prints its shadow
on the lane

smiling
at its own
distortion

wild roses
ramble from
hedge to hedge

honeysuckle
climbs
upon its own scent

I sit amongst
the milk churns
gleaming with the silver

of their laughter
as if I were one
of their number

waiting for a tractor
to escort us to
a faraway dairy

we three wise monkeys
(seeing)(hearing)(speaking)      
no evil

in this the innocence
of my new & only
world

*

"Often, when I was alone, I sat down on this stone, and then began an imaginary game that went something like this: “I am sitting on top of this stone and it is underneath. ' But the stone also could say “I” and think: 1 am lying here on this ***** and he is sitting on top of me.”

Carl Jung
STOLEN SUNLIGHT

that summer
the heat felt now
even from this photo

you looking in a window
I now looking in the window
of this faded photograph

I look at this photo
even in the dark
the Braille of your laugh

invisible
to Time
the me taking the photo

that 1950's summer
the sunlight stolen
trapped on paper

trapped on paper
your laughter
and its reason

the invisible me
making the visible you
smile for the camera

faded photo
the sunlight stealing back
its light
TÁ AN GHEALACH AG BRIONGLÓIDÍ
( The Moon is Dreaming )

I smiled
at the daytime
moon

all my life I had
been a lover
of daytime moons

a little piece of magic
hung up
in a sky

as if the moon had
shaken off its nighttime
moorings...sailed into our day

"Hey mister...mister!
a kid's voice breaking
into my moon reverie

"You've lost
yer moon!"
"?"  I puzzled

but sure enough
there was my moon
rolling down the hill

before happily plopping
itself into a nice
generous puddle.


I had rescued it it
from a charity shop
and knew it

would glow
in the dark
for my daughter

although
its Day-glo surprise
couldn't be guessed at now

it seemed happy enough
to be mud splattered
and acting |
as if
it were king
of its puddle

the kid pulled it
from its happiness
and punted it with

a fine Garry Owen
that I just about
managed to hold on to

it's dark side was
a bit
cracked

I rolled a pound
back down the hill
which was 50p

more that I paid for it
the kid just beamed
"Gee thanks mister!"

later that night
the moon hung
and twirled

on its string
above my daughter's
dreaming head

dreaming of its
own adventures
gazing at

the full moon
in the sky
daughter falling into dreams
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