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BIG HAPPY

“You make me
so happy! ”

She says.

“Oh, I say! ”
I say.

“It’s such
a big happy

but it’s made up
of all small happies! ”

“The small happy
I can hold
in my hand

but the big happy
is like the sky! ”

She clutches me
hugs my knee
kisses my kneecap

then goes
out again

shouting to the dolly
she left sitting in the sand pit.

“It’s ok...I’m back! ”
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
EVER EVER LAND
(  for Mary Ford )

every year
Summer would come

and take the train
down to Cork

throwing trees
and fields at him

so that cows
and chickens came

to see how he was
getting on

since the last time
time had gathered them

together in
the one place

he talked to rivers
and skies

made up stories
for them to recite

back to him
which they did

so that they could live
in his mind

his Uncle Mikey
was a magician

making words do
whatever he told them to

Ballea was a fairy story
of a farm

full of happy
ever afters

that made him the Prince
of his own story

and that childhood
was a land

where he would
live forever
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
"... IN THE UNENDING AFTERNOON OF HER EYES..."

We drift from
Parisian museum to

Parisian museum
as if calling upon

some grand home
and the paintings deign

to see us
we the tourist class.

We are caught
in a deluge.

The unrelenting rain
tears time off

the present moment
revealing the past underneath

an older century
bleeding through.

How fragile are
les temps perdu.

I  whistle a motif
from César Franck.

"What's that ?" you say
"...the National Anthem of our love!"

I gaze up at Proust's
cork-lined room

102 boulevard Haussmann
now become a bank.

Imagine him there
glancing down at us

glancing up  at him
the slight movement of  blue satin drapes.

Or have I imagined him
as he imagines us

hurrying figures
from another time

the rain obscuring us
each from the other.

"Love..." Marcel reminds me
“...is space and time.."

his voice almost lost
in the rain's din

"...measured by the heart.”

"Allons Madeline....allons!"
A French mum scolds her sulky child.

The rain reigns
supreme.

*

By 1906, Proust’s parents had died, his brother had married, and he felt the family residence was too big. He moved to 102 Boulevard Haussmann(in the Ian Fleming novel Thunderball, it is described as "the solidest street in Paris" and the site of the headquarters of SPECTRE.) a building owned by his Uncle Louis, where he wrote the bulk of his work, mostly in bed.

Today the building belongs to the CIC bank, which has restored the bedroom, famously lined in cork for soundproofing, but the room’s contents are in the Musée Carnavalet, leaving the solitary chamber soulless..the silence listening to us not making a sound.
SPECTRE in some fictional alternative world still has its headquarters on Boulevard Haussmannn...a fact of which I was totally unaware being pulverised by rain and time....the moment coming apart at the seams.

A reconstruction, with original furniture, of the room where Marcel Proust wrote In search of lost time can be seen in Musée Carnavalet.

Off in a cramped corner were the reassembled pieces of furniture from Proust’s bedroom, including a five-paneled Chinese screen, a velvet armchair that belonged to his father and a writing desk, used mostly for piling books. He kept his notebooks and writing materials on an old rosewood end table beside the bed. Two other tables are adrift in this cramped tableau, one of which was used for his morning coffee tray, usually served with milk and croissants.

The original Boulevard Haussmann apartment was spacious but crammed with furniture, with double windows always covered by padded blue satin drapes. The bedspread was blue satin as well and there was a chandelier, which was never lit when Proust was working. The only light was from a long-stemmed, green-shaded lamp on the bedside table.

We were headed for the Musée Jacquemart-André, at 158 Boulevard Haussmann, the former home of banker and art collector Edouard André and his artist wife Nélie Jacquemart, recaptures the interior decor and lifestyle of respectable society. Proust was never a guest there, but he rotated in the same social circles, We were mere tourists...awed by the past.

As Beckett puts it in his essay on Proust...

"Life is habit. Or rather life is a succession of habits, since the individual is a succession of individuals; the world being a projection of the individual’s consciousness (an objectivation of the individual’s will, Schopenhauer would say), the pact must be continually renewed, the letter of safe-conduct brought up to date. The creation of the world did not take place once and for all time, but takes place every day. Habit then is the generic term for the countless treaties concluded between the countless subjects that constitute the individual and their countless correlative objects."

This poem is one of the countless treaties various individuals of me made with the moment in time that was mine being shared with Proust.

The enigma of the “little phrase” that “swept over and enveloped” Swann “like a perfume or a caress..." still lingers on as maybe Frack or as Proust admitted in a letter to Camille Saint-Saëns. I rather prefer Franck's Sonata in A major for Violin and Piano for its perfect cyclic beauty and its gentle reflectiveness.

But it was Franck's gorgeous Symphony in D minor( and the transformations of its four-bar theme )that I was lost in that day and became for me the "...national anthem of our love."

“It is only through art that we can escape from ourselves and know how another person sees a universe which is not the same as our own and whose landscapes would otherwise have remained as unknown as any there may be on the moon.”

The title comes from a lovely phrase that has always haunted me...

"...calmly imprisoned in the unending afternoon of her eyes..."

THE GUERMANTES WAY - MARCEL PROUST.
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
WORLD WITHOUT FOOTFALL

The stairs sleep
in the moonlight

(haunted by shadows
& the ghost of shadows) .

They go neither
up...nor...down.

The stairs dream of stillness

of being
perfectly still

in a world without
...footfall.

And yet: my footsteps
awaken it

and it is compelled
to resume being a stairs

taking me up
to an attic window

with a broken latch
twisted shut with twine
& a tangled clothes hanger

where a moon
floats across its pane

as if drowned
& I

cry

at the absence
of you.
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
A BIRD SOMEWHERE SINGS

he smiled
Death
smiled too

took a tiny sip
of water.
as did Death

Death now
mimicking
his every movement

shadowing him
becoming him
....in time

Death stared
out of the mirror
but the man didn't

recognise
that this was
his death

he had only
2 minutes
left to live

the man went on doing
some insignificant
ordinary things

D.I.Y.
finally
getting around to it

Death copying
the least
gesture

like a comedy
duo
in a vaudeville act

each little tic exact
like Groucho like Harpo
in his favourite movie

Death
lying on the floor
adopting the same posture

arms flung out
eyes staring up
into the nothing

the radio keeps on
talking
the phone rings

a bird
somewhere
sings
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
THE ******* TOWERS OF ILLIUM

"Is this the face that launched...."
the poet asks not knowing how

it all turned out
in the end.

And yes, this is the face that
ate a thousand chips.

No, they don't
tell you that bit.

Anyway, had an affair
with Troy( my toy boy )

and somehow it
all went wrong.

Listen now to Odyssey  sing
"If you're looking for a way out."

Plead with the ghost of
each former lover:

"Make me immortal with
a kiss...heaven is in your lips!"

Then cry myself to sleep
with a furry hot water bottle.
Donall Dempsey Dec 2024
CALLING YOUR NAME
( for Brian )


“Love is space and time measured by the heart.”
― Marcel Proust



how, strange you were
and now
you're not

how, unbelievable I had
a brother
and now I've not

the world turned and somehow
you got off
Death -  that great Exit door

I have seen you dead
and still
believe it not

I follow in the footsteps
of your dying
speak your name

making you
come alive again
if only in sound

living
upon
my lips

you forever my brother
despite what
Death says

come
live in my mind
it's yours

see with my eyes
I'll share with you
what you can never see

be me
every now
and then

I've got life
enough
for two

carry you
through
all the world

carry you
through
all the days that remain

the price of this
great love
this great pain
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