<i> What is that on my doorstep?
Not another box from Amazon
What the hell is going on?
I know that it isn’t mine
What has she bought again this time?
How much more can she spend?
It’s her money she earns a good plenty
Then why do I consider Amazon the enemy?
She would rather search Amazon than talk to me
She must have Amazon dreams when she sleeps
When I look at the bank records on line
I see Amazon charges almost two at a time
I lack the courage to total up the charges
In the end I guess things could be worse
That **** internet feels like a curse
My wife is an Amazon ******
Her Apple laptop is the devils domain
She spends  more time purchasing crap we don't need
It's really hard to prevent her from  buying
She has Amazon Prime and delivery is free
She downloads  e-books to read on her Kindle
I wish I had the courage to add up all the sales
I am to afraid to even take a guess at a total
So I just shut up and watch the History Channel
Dinner looks like it's on me again
Take out has proven to be my best friend

<i>  I thought I could just wipe out the bad memories that ***** left behind
We had some really fun times and some bad stretches as well
The good far exceeded the bad in my debatable opinion
Sadly I am losing the battle of self confidence and reason
Your lack of trust in me feels like a dagger to my thigh
So much so that I thought of just leaving without a goodbye
I am not proud of most of my actions in this scenario
I know that I agreed to forgive and put this behind us
It’s that arrogant ******* guiding me as he sits on my shoulder
I can’t guarantee you that tomorrow will be any different
I will try my best to make this marriage whole again
I was posting our wedding pictures on Facebook with pride
I was bragging about my beautiful bride from long ago
So why did I have to end one fight only to start another?
I let the forgiven past come right back to taunt me
I gave the jealous demons the keys to my mind
They made me do things tantamount to treason
It was like I was going insane for no logical reason
Reinventing  myself all over again is what I need for success
I know you are leery of handing out another “second” chance
I am so sorry I awoke you from your sleep,
Then accuse you of marital malfeasance on unproven theory
I was convinced that you were guilty of infidelity
There was no way you could walk away without some punishment
A deadlocked jury was not to be swayed by unproven facts
I had verified almost every call that went through her Apple 5
I must really keep those workers at Verizon in stitches
I lost count of how times I logged in and then got booted out
I am so thankful that my wife continues to support me
Time will tell if this marriage blooms into a beautiful flower
Both of us are headed to bed early tonight
We are backlogged on sleep and no energy is present
I know that I have been taught a valuable lesson
Jealousy is a very strange emotion
It can ruin a marriage just by one stray thought
<b><i>If you fool around chances are you will get caught

<i>If your wife is murdered and the killer is never caught
If your son is killed by a drunk driver who swerved his direction
We always hear the word “closure” used in many situations
It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound needing stitches
It can’t bring a deceased spirit back to life
It can’t find the man who murdered your wife
It may bring some temporary relief from your grief
But the word closure is never quite complete
Search parties scour the ocean
For that missing plane near Laos
Radar say’s it went down over there
But no-one can really say where
It’s at the bottom of the sea
To deep for the eyes to see
In reality it’s a watery tomb
It may never be found and all that we hear
Is that word closure mentioned …oh dear
The relatives are seen crying in disbelief
Like it’s a bad dream and there’s no relief
That closure word is so meaningless it’s almost comical
I for one refuse to use it or mention it to family
When I hear it at a funeral I just try to ignore it
It’s easy for me to make that statement
When I am the one doing the talking
While another poor soul receives the bad news
That word closure is giving me the “blues”

<i>Another night all alone w/o my baby here at home
I type away with many worries sifting through my head
What I really need is to have you back in my bed
The thoughts of someone holding you
Make me get up and leave the room
At this point I don't care whose to blame any more
All I can do is hope you walk thru that front door
The nights turn to days as I get up and feed the cats
Yes we still have 3 and maybe another 3 wandering around
I take a shower and dream your next to me
But I know those days are just a memory
I think of many ideas just to get you to talk
When all seem to fail I feel like can't do anything right
Another day approaches light...
My parents surprised me by knocking at the door
I left them out there not sure I wanted their company
But they kept knocking and tapping the window
I begrudgingly let them in and was sorry I did
Old people telling me what I did wrong and don't need reminded
I ****** up and let my wife Becca walk out of my life
As usual I had no plan to get her to come back
When nothing worked I got frustrated and said the wrong things
I guess maybe I was just trying to hard and anger led me astray
I hold out hope for those magic words that I have yet to find
I know they are buried somewhere in my mind
In truth there no words that I can say to end my misery
I only hope that you can some how forgive me
I neglected you and was caught up in a different world
When I should have fought to stay in yours as well
I can only promise you my undying faith and love
And swear to GOD that I will never treat you like a prisoner again
I just want these lonely nights to come to an end
And put my arms around you and kiss you good night
But I look around this lonely house and all I see
Are memories of what you meant to me
And I slowly shut down the computer and grab my phone
And regret that I was the reason you walked away
And that's a pain that will never go away
I miss you baby ...what more can I say?

This is a true story about a couple who were wed after only 6 months of dating
Most folks would have given the relationship years to develop before swapping rings and
having kids.  Keep reading as the story gets better.  

I was on the rebound from a failed first marriage
One I ****** up by leaving a tad bit early
I tried to go back to her after a few weeks alone
By then she was like a spring flower
New bees were vying to collect her pollen
I couldn't believe only two weeks had passed
And I was denied a vital second chance
I was crushed but only a few years later
My second wife showed up at my party but she was dating another
I finally was able to arrange a date and from  that night we began our journey
We agreed to get married after 6 months of dating
October 27 1979 was the date and it is still etched in my memory
I had found a woman to take away my pain
It's been years of ups and downs and 3 children raised are out of  our house
Mirinda is child number one and married now with 2 kids in tow
Alex is 27  now and has a wedding to plan
Ashley our third still hates her dad
My wife Becky has been my rock since day one
The best mother and now with a promising career that's made me proud
My career has taken many turns
I have only had 3 good jobs over the years
I was a banker before I got greedy
Then a logistics coordinator at two other companies
It was drugs that caused me to do some stupid things
But I always able to rebound and get clean '
Then find another job  and look for a match
One  that would pay me more cash
I was so lucky not to have died from years of abuse
I quit the drugs but my body wanted another Vice
So on to beer and then  hard *****
A lot of nights spent going to bed early
And not paying enough attention to my wonderful spouse
She began to feel neglected around her 54th bithday
She was so depressed she started looking up lost loves
Instead of confronting her aging husband
She began searching the web like a devious soul
She was tired of not getting enough attention
I was blind and did not see it coming
My wife soon was on the phone an talking to an old flame
Soon after they met and it was all in friendship
I found out later after I had checked phone records
That was last January, the third I remember
In that short time I was using again and my jealousy took a nasty spin
I believe she was seeing some other guy as her card charges caught my eye
After eight weeks of truths and lies I was supposed to believe her and stop
But I kept on  playing cop after promising to stop on several occasions
Last Saturday she had had enough and left our home in a puff
She came back with 4 cops in tow and took some belongings and then went out the door
It's now Thursday and I am in my bedroom closet
It's now my makeshift office but it serves my needs
I sent one final e-mail to my beautiful wife
Asking for forgiveness and to came back home
But no answer back as I expected
Looks like I will soon be single
And then I can party and mingle
But why am I so **** miserable?


To Becky if you read this ...Can I have a final kiss?

I thought I was done writing poems for a long while
After all my lady left me and still hasn't returned
Some days I keep myself busy
Finding things to do that seem to interest me
And then there are times when I just can't help it
A single thought of the woman I made leave
Brings tears to my eyes when I thought there were none left
Then I go back to thinking of how I can make amends
After all I have sent a hundred texts and e-mails with songs
I have tried a million times to call
She just doesn't seem to the same girl I married
The one who always forgave me for my mistakes
That beautiful girl who became a great mother
The one I thought I would be with forever
But I continued to not believe her stories
I was jealous thinking I was no longer important
I made her leave this once happy home
It's almost four weeks and I can't leave her alone
I guess I was to intent on getting her back
I should have just left her alone to sort things out
As I sit here alone for another night
A process server hands me some papers
It's a restraining order sent by the Mrs.
Now I have to avoid any kind of contact or be in violation
Did crying to my wife make me seem weak
Should I had just pretended that I didn't care
Hoping in time she would miss me enough to reconsider
Or try something that would make her jealous
Now as I sit here finishing this poem
My thoughts are consumed by my jealous mind
Is she coming home or with a new man
Those are thoughts I can't comprehend
But this waiting is like a slow death
And it hasn't even been a month yet

I really do love my wife
Been with her for most of my life
Why she keeps me I don’t understand
I can’t possibly be her best man

At home she’s always doing some work
Makes me feel like I am one lazy dude
I sometimes try to clean the house
But somehow I don’t do it right
Not a speck of dirt in sight

I was proud to have a decent job
Bring in what I could to toss in the kitty
No longer employed because of the stress
My sanity restored at my home address

Now I have vice’s I must admit
One too many for her to accept
But I refuse to play by her rules
But I did finally quit the *****

Now it’s on to another day
No job at present, but I get state money
I guess that’s not enough for my honey
At almost sixty I see retirement in sight
Just pay off the house and things will be fine

Why can’t my lady be happy with the way things are?
Retirement is not far away
Is there no time left for play?
The youthful days are long gone

I wish I felt like I was part of the family
At family gatherings I am often ignored
Not good enough to command some respect
That’s ok by me… I enjoy my own company

So now I spend my day’s writing
Listening to music and having a snack
Hoping to bring some excitement back
My lady is free to join me or read my verse


Things can’t get much worse