Dark of night, no stars in sight
I'm driving home in the dead silence
Left with my thoughts

I was the last one standing
Everyone had already left
Left me to be with myself

Did you forget about me?
Things are not as they were
In the end I'm always left alone

Another day passes
And I'm left wondering if you even remember me
I'm still here where I have always been

I'm the one that never leaves
I'm the one that will always be there for you
I'm the one you can always come to

Where have you all gone
Would you even consider me your friend
Why am I the one left with the short end of the stick?

You always said that you’d be there for me
You said we would always be friends
You said that we’d stick together through thick and thin

But when was the last time that you put effort in our relationship?
At least six months ago
I'm to blame also, I've stopped going out of my way for you to remember me

In my phone I still have you as my bff forever
Do you even have that same number?
Am I even a contact in your phone?

It’s not like I don't see you in the halls all of the time
And you know where to find me
You ignore me when I try to talk to you

You know that I'm also going to go but you don’t ask to meet up
Or even attempt to find me
I'm the one who at least says hi

If you were truly my friend you'd realize that I miss you
All of you that have left me
I can still remember you but do you even know who I am?

I was the crazy one
That one that could always brighten your day
The one who was always happy

But that’s not me anymore
I'm still crazy like I have always been
But I keep getting left alone and my smile has faded and I don’t know what it looks like anymore

Friends are always supposed to be there for you
They are the ones you go to in bad times
There the ones you go to in good times

Who is left to be here for me?
Who am I supposed to go to now in my bad times
looks like my dogs are the ones to hear about the good times
If they ever happen

I should be used to being left all to myself in the end by now
It’s a common thing that happens to me
But I never expected my two greatest friends to leave me in the dark

I wonder around with myself
I am my own best friend
Not in a shallow way but in a way where I'm the only person that is always there for me

I'm not completely alone I do have some friends
People I can small talk with
People who truly don’t get to know the true me

But no one wants to get to know the true me
Because if they did then you guys may have never left
You perhaps didn't even notice it but I did

I know I'm not the same person I was before
But maybe that’s because you have all left
Did you ever think that all of you are the reason why I'm like this?

You guys have left me all by myself
And by doing so you have changed me
You have changed me for the worst

I was always there when you needed me most
I was always the one you could go to
I was the one who could brighten your day and make you forget all of the bad things

I need you now, so why have you disappeared?
Why can I no longer go to you?
At this point just acknowledging me will make me smile

Dark of night, no stars in sight
I'm driving home in the dead silence
Left with my thoughts

Polka dots

Little beads

Rain drops

Cloudy seeds

Pastel pink

Lipstick red

Take too many

Wind up dead

…….

Pills for mania, laughter – blue,
An inappropriate colour,
But what can ya do?

Pills for thyroid, goitre, shakes,
Bottle green like the bottom of lakes,

Pills for pain, black –  red  - pink,
Pills that can’t be mixed with drink,

Pills for anxiety, phobias, fears,
Fleshy coloured,
Like children’s ears,

Pills for dreaming, dozing, sleep,
Pure white
Like counted sheep.

In a different life maybe I would be too skinny and my arms would be cut up and I'd be with the wrong crowd swallowing the wrong pills and maybe you'd see how much you hurt me reflected in how much I hurt myself.

and so my life turned out
to be a snow globe

and far away from you
it would slowly settle
down

into peaceful, quiet
beauty;


but you'd come
to shake it up
and it'd turn out
more interesting, yes:
full of glitter and
wonder and life but

mostly full of chaos

and all over the place.

Por causa de ti,
Eu deixei de dormir.
Por causa de ti,
É difícil eu me concentrar.
Por causa de ti,
Eu estou sempre sem ar.
Por causa de ti,
Eu estou sempre em baixo.
Por causa de ti,
Eu tenho marcas e cicatrizes.
Por causa de ti,
Eu acho que sou feio e não valho nada.
Por causa de ti,
Eu conheci a minha pior inimiga.
Por tua causa,
Depressão.