i hope you're okay


because
i haven't seen you in a couple of days


but i can feel you in my stomach

i can feel you inside my veins


my bones are shaking so violently

i'm afraid they will break

i rip the peels from my lips until i'm bleeding
i bite my tongue until i pierce it with my teeth
i crack my bones until they're broken


i scratch your back until there's pieces of your skin under my nails

i'm so scared and sad and sick
and i just want you


that's all

i took too many pills

i just wanted to sleep in peace
without all these ghosts in my head

if you go
please take me with you




and if i get afraid
hold my hand
and say we're okay

because
the ghosts can't hurt us
if we can't see them

get off my shoulders
i can't carry you anymore