in my cave
the cigarettes dry out my mouth
i am contented
but somehow not
like many nights
tonight
is just like those nights
we all
read about

it is raining outside
it is raining
inside
my head
i pull the sheets over
in hopes of protecting myself
from the rain
no use
i am already soaked
so i stay in bed
waiting
until enough of it
dries up
with no sign of sunshine
i might be here awhile
waiting
with my blanket raincoat
and pillow umbrella

half used
left side remains
empty
although dreams
are filled with company
reality sets in upon wakening
when you realize
the pillow next you
rests unwrinkled
nights are cold
no body to warm up to
nobody to warm up with
so an extra blanket
is the compromise
needing music to sleep
when normally silence
suffices
a bed
can be
one of
the worst reminders

oh lila
you are but a child
innocent in your play
building castles of sand
and breaking them down
running in the grass
and staining your jeans
so much chaos
you create
so much destruction
you manifest
oh lila
no one understands you
your simplicity is frustrating
everyone remains hallucinated
everyone remains vexed
your divine play
is but an eastern thought
however
is something we all
misconceive
when our layers are stripped
peeled off from our infinite selves
we will realize
who and what you really are
oh lila
you run our world

i fell in love at the bar
sitting in my chair
in the company of friends
i drank my double
because the bartender
poured me a ***** glass
she passes me
i stop
never does this happen to me
never am i taken back
she is perfect in every way
her body
her face
those eyes
those lips
we are introduced
naturally
she is known
naturally
she is on a date
never
am i taken back
yet
she remembers my name
that is all i could ask for

when your vision turns from one to two
when you’re kneeling down making porcelain stew
when stumblin’s all you can manage to do
that’s the blacked out blues
when you’re strolling down the street looking for a fight
and you find your target wandering by
that moment when you punch him in the ******* eye
that’s the blacked out blues
when getting laid is your only goal
when your only requirements are two legs and a hole
but little do you know your model’s a troll
that’s the blacked out blues
when your vision turns from one to two
when you’re kneeling down making porcelain stew
when stumblin’s all you can manage to do
that’s the blacked out blues
that’s the blacked out blues

consumes me
black coffee
fuels me
i am on a path
to know
and never forget
lungs black
liver beaten
books read
pizza eaten
play the game
but keep it short
love your highs
and know your lows