here, crawling
through blood and ****
of once brothers
too young and
too sober

deafened—
leaded
and known only by dog

for tradition
for man

absolute
obsolete
pure pride and purpose

dear ma,

death
is blind

and hell
is close to home

throw my poetry in the trash and
scream hallelujah
maybe
then
I'll do the dishes

I wish I could love you
but my timing is all wrong

I already know who you are
what you love
what you like
what you hate

but
he's still there
even though
he's not

wanting is irrelevant
waiting is irrelevant

and my timing is all wrong

what if
he wasn't there
what if he wasn't a friend

what if
you were happy
what if I could kiss you on the cheek

what if
I could hold your hand
and not feel guilty about it
and only let get so you could dance in the parking lot

what
if

except
my timing is all wrong
it's never been right

I love you

atop the mesa
cold flowers sleep
bathed in suns
long since gone
& the coyote sings
on purple wind
"all is empty"

once while driving a long stretch of road, I came across a field of dead colts. not mauled, but asleep. I spent the day arranging and rearranging them. first in a straight line. then a circle. then a cross. finally, I piled them up and lit them on fire. I waited for the fire to burn out. I waited through night. I waited for several days. I never slept. just sat there. waiting.

pn
dr
ng
th
pnt
f
t
ll

t
hll
wth
t

one day
the world will have enough of me
and burn me at the stake

they’ll sing and dance
in gasoline and smoke
         “the death of the last honest man”

and after they **** on the ashes
and return home
to their meat loaves and ******

i will rise from the ashes
as a pigeon

spending the rest of eternity
******* in their morning coffee
and on the windshields of their cars