Back to chair
the drawing board
where
I
belong
designing
creating
plans
outlines
systems
a program
for the world
I create
with my hands
through
careful construction
but elaborate
and glorious
because
when I author
my world
I make it
my own
fit
for a man
like me
an
architect
because
in the end
I am what I became
a long time ago
I
am
an
architect

It was impossible
simply
utterly
impossible
I had held my heart
back
so long
processing
my emotions through
long
logical
outlines
Trying to take in account
everything that
could
would
happen
making contingencies
for contingencies
setting thousands of
plans into motion
preventing consequences
before they happen
and it was annoying
but it was how I was
built
complex
intertwining
impossibilities
with sheer will
but what you said
was impossible
but you
bridged
that
gap
with a simple
question
and
I couldn't say no
even if it was
impossible
I've done it before
I did it
again
and for
once
I shut up
my mind
and
I
kissed you
the impossible
achieved
and now
that I've
done
the impossible
I know
I am
Mighty
and its not that
scary
because its
not impossible
anymore

The first dictator,
      the founder.
The blood of a would be
      god.
But all this mighty knowledge
      is meaningless.
With you here.
      And me in Roma,
            44 B.C.
But I am here.
      Next to you,
            and you’ll never know.
How I think about the
      war in my mind
            with the space
between you and me.
But thus is my curse.
      Stuck at the strategy table.
            Moving the dark pieces in an
                  attempt to bring
you
    closer
to         me.
I wish I was Caesar,
            or Augustus,
                  or Alexander.
So my battle plans
      could be as sound,
      could be as powerful,
      could be as triumphant.
So I could conquer this intolerable space.
      To touch your face,
      To kiss your lips,
      To press my body against yours,
      To feel our hearts touch.
But it will never happen.
      For fortune favors the bold.
            And I like Cassius:
                  I am a coward.
But maybe one day
      I’ll be Caesar.
            And you’ll be mine.

Driven into Battle
By the most basic
Emotion
The fear of perishing
Yet...
When he lays his eyes upon
The face of death
He laughs
Not a chuckle
Or giggle
No
A insane, diabolical
Laugh.
The enemy calls him spider,
Widower,
Freak.

Such fear
In those eyes
The eyes of his enemy
Fear that
Once occupied him, the
Single reason that drove him
Mad. Now...
Feeds his lunacy, his insanity, the need
To see fear in the enemy, the fear in their eyes
This reason, this covet
Not his fear but
Theirs.

Why.
Why am I haunted by you.
Not the love that shattered me.
No. That would be too simple.
                          Far too simple.
You come from after all of that.
    After the war. After the death.
           When I cry out alone.
Trying to move past the foolishness.
Past the wrongs.
Past...     everything.
You weren't a mistake. You could have been...
                                                Everything.
                                                               We.
                         Could have been everything.
                                                             More.
                             And even past the risks.
         The 'Maybe's.
              The 'I don't know's.
                    The 'What if's.
You were worth it. Even for a day.
                                      For an hour.
Because when we looked at each other.
When we worked together.
   When I made you smile.
          It would be worth it.
But we didn't.
Why risk it when, it was destined to fail.
                                                  Right?
Since no matter what happened to that point would make it worth while.
              Not ONE Month?
                                    Day?
                                  Hour?
Just leaning over you working.
                             Being close.
That was worth it.
The mistake wasn't that I did and failed.
The mistake was that I failed to try.
And you haunt me.
              And you...
                    Don't even know.

I know the price
that I play with
everyday
gambling my life
my mind
with a toss of the dice
torrenting a storm of knowledge
from the well of the secrets of life
trying to find the code
to let me be free
its millions of exabytes
of incomputable *******
that clogs the systems of life
and yet it brings me no closer
to understanding her
I may find the meaning
of life and the universe
but that
is not what I want
I want to understand you
Us if there could be an us
But I know the price
that I play with
everyday
gambling my life
my mind
with a toss of the dice
I play with dice made of
bones from the old gods carved
by my mind and soul
as I slayed them with a blade
made from my heart
stronger than diamond
sharper than any steel
more powerful than black holes
brighter than the core of the stars in the skies
I was here when the universe was created
and I will be here when the universe ends
with a whisper and maybe then I will get my
answer...

I have seen things
that would
Amaze
Frighten
Disgust
Abhor
The twin blinking stars
of Beta IV
The cascade of Emeralds waterfalls
of Theta V
The nova geysers
of the planet Zetta
I have seen my home planet
burn like a thousands suns
Repeating onward for eternity
stuck in a perpetual war
dying again and again
and again
and again
and again and again and again
my people doomed
because of me
but when I
see
her
I can
forget
for a moment
an instant
and maybe
if she stays here
next
to
me
I can forget
All the things
that pale to her
Just maybe...

I won’t make the same mistake.
     Not again.
               I won’t let this slip away.
     Not like last time.
          Failing to realize what I could have
                                                                      become.
                                        What we could have been.
But that was a different place,
                      a different time.
I cannot take the wonderings,
                       the what if’s,
                       the uncountable dreams,
                         of what could be.
Because I don’t love her like I loved you.
          But I’m willing to try.
     Even for a month.
               Or less.
          But I cannot try.
                    I may have failed,
                          100 times before this.
But if I, if we, succeed.
          Then it all would be worth it.
     Because I am not a coward.
          I am whatever I deem myself worthy.
And I deserve this.
And I deem myself worthy of courage.
But most of all.
          I not only want you.
     I need you.
And this time.
          You will know.

She was built,
shorter than the other buildings,
     but stands just as tall.
She was designed to be
     thinner,
     as it would just fit.
Her long winding curves,
     stretching lusciously
          into the great blue sky.
Sabatino,
     or what I like to,
          call her:
               Kelsey.
Her smile a grin
     of reflective bright
          sunlight.
This was how she was modeled,
     crafted with the finest:
          Marble,
          Steel,
          Wood,
          and Stone.
As if Michelangelo
     or Da Vinci,
came back to chisel this
     monument to beauty.
Not because they can,
because they must.
     I may walk past this building
          everyday,
on my way to work,
          coffee,
          school.
But one day,
     I will christen the lips
          of her sounding entrance.
That day I
     will be as tall as her.
A titan of concrete,
     of steel.
A titan that controls my
          imagination,
          time,
and heart.

This world is one of sadness.
So much sadness.
Battle brings death.
To see so much killing, so much
Death brings sorrow.
Sorrow brings battle again.
The living... may not hear them.
For they block the voices, the screams.
Their voices...
Cries! Shrieks! Shouts!
May fall upon closed ears.
* But I am neither deaf nor blind,
I see them.
*I hear them.

*YOU MUST UNDERSTAND!
AND Make no mistake!
The dead...
Are not silent!
For I know this, I have witnessed so
Much
Pain,
Fear,
Fury,
Joy,
Of...
The end,
The damnation,
Salvation,
Revelation,
All come
To one
Destined to die
I have seen
The shadow of death
And I fear not,
The end of
All the suffering
But I, myself,
Am sorry
Death is tragic, but life is miserable.

What I ask
by Dominic Mildago

I am tired.
Exhausted.
Destroyed.
But I continue on.

However.
I do have a request.
To those who watch from
Afar.
When I fall.

I have because:
Ran as fast I can run.
But when I can't do that I'll crawl.
And when I can't crawl.
When I cannot do that...
Will you find someone to carry me.

That is what I ask.
Of you my friends.

And those who love me.
Care for me until I am strong.
So I can continue.
For I shall.
Forever.

AN ANCIENT WARRIOR,
A FORGOTTEN TIME,
A LOST HOME.
THE ENDER OF LIVES,
THOUSANDS OF SOULS
GIVEN TO CHARRION
BY HIM
BUT HE FEARS DEATH NOT,
FOR HE CONTROLS DEATH
THE ABILITY TO MAKE
THE GREATEST
CHOICE.
TO CHOOSE
BETWEEN
LIFE
AND
DEATH.
­ ONLY A
TRIGGER PULL
AWAY.
FOR NO
EMOTION
DRIVES HIM
TO THE BATTLEFIELD
BUT THE EMPTINESS
GIVEN BY THE PINK MIST
SYMBOLIZING THE DEATH
NEEDED FOR HIS SOUL.
THE SATISFACTION OF
ONE MORE HAS
MET
The End.

Born in the dark ness,
Alone in the black.
Among the glitter of the night sky.
Father Moon
And
Mother Sun
Watched their
Child be born, but
His eyes
Were closed to
The world.
Then…
He opened them,
He saw the earth
But no blue,
Brown,
Green,
Nor White.
Occupied the surface
But a blaze,
A fire that raged
Like a sun.
The shell of our planet
Burned, as if a
Storm that knew no end.
Fire fell from the heavens
Searing into the soul,
The very essence
Of his being
The flames, the fire, the wrath, all
The Fury

The madness, the burn, the need...
The desire
The crave.
For pain
Driving him
To Insanity
The
Fear of pain.
Until...
Screams,
Shrieks,
Not from him
But his enemy.
Away.
Near.
Beside
him.
Now a hunger grows
For the never
Ending,
Forever
Unsatisfying,
Crave to cause pain.
Is the new reason
For existence
The need, the want
The desire.
For
The
Pain.

I often wonder,
      how
            your hair smells,
            your skin against mine,
            your head resting on my rising chest,
            your heart beating with mine,
                  in the morning next to me.
Would you smile?
Would you make eye contact?
Would you kiss me?
Would you be there?
      When I’d wake up next to you.
Would
            We be tangled up,
                  on your bed (or mine),
                        together like one.
            When we’d get up,
                  I’d make us breakfast
                        or lunch.
            You’d stand behind me,
                  afraid I’d burn it,
                        with your arms around me.
            I would concentrate on cooking,
                  but you’d try so hard to distract me
                        when I’d turn away from the stove.
Maybe.
We wouldn’t.
Because.
I’d wonder.
I’d dream.

I dream
not of wealth
or fame
but of you
and me
my hand
following your soft
jawline
guiding you
closer to me
my digits wrap around
and stop
but you grow closer
still
Your eyes
close
mine as well
and it is then
when your lips
touch mine
I feel your palm
holding my chest
this is my heart
run rampant
as I try to take
back control
from it wanting
that what I must
patiently wait
and
earn it

I don't know
what I'm doing
I'm winging it with
you
because you are
unique
I haven't met a
woman like you,
you
confuse,
puzzle,
intrigue me
and its
crazy
but I enjoy
the thrill
but it shakes
me up
and lets hope
you give me
a chance

He is 5428 years old
She is a 12 year old boy
He is a Novelist & Poet
She is a Cartoonist & Artist
He is a time traveling madman
She is just mad
He live in the past, the present, and the future
She lives in the now
He understands so much
She honestly doesn't care
He has watched civilizations rise and fall
She barely watches the news
He tries to fine meaning in the universe
She tells the universe to *******
He observes time and space learning
She thinks he's way too deep
He has never seen anyone quite like her
She is on her phone
He wants to be a good father
She wants to be a good mother
He finds her a mystery, different, unique
She is...

I've never
been so open
not with
Anyone
but somehow
you
have made
open up
this armor
maybe it was
your smile
your eyes
maybe both
maybe neither
I find you
a
mystery
an
enigma
not only
am I
intrigued
and
something
tells me
its not
just me
that when
you look
at me
what do you see?
In my eyes?
In my smile?
Is it the same?

I met an angel,
     last night.
  She was crying.
         Not for herself.
But those she cared for.
     Why must you cry?
For someone so
          beautiful,
never should shed such a
               powerful water.
     No man under the sun
          deserves you.
For even if you
     don’t believe it,
          you are an angel.
And you’ll
     never know how
                    honored I am
          to have you as
               a friend.
Never allow
     someone to tell you
          otherwise.
     For you are,
          beautiful,
          wonderful,
          amazing,
          and most of all...
               the greatest friend I could
                    and will ever have.
And (you’ll probably never know this)
          I love you.

Do it for me,
     God,
do it for me.
     The lost lamb,
     the prodigal son,
     the sleeping servant.
Do it for the wrong,
     in my life,
          that I’ve caused,
          that I created,
          that I regret.
Do it for the right,
     the smiles,
     the laughs,
     the advice.
Help him,
     be what he needs.
Help her,
     understand what he is.
Take away all the good in mine,
so they can have something I will...
     Never.
Give them peace.
Give them love.
Give them each other.
     If you can do that.
Maybe then...
     I will have served a purpose.
     I will have been a bringer of life.
     I will have understood.
Maybe then...
          I will be free.

I just know
I am mad
crazy
daft
trying so
hard
to understand
the whole
when
I should just
care about
the details
especially
those things
that only
matter
to
my heart
and
my happiness
because
that's what really
counts
in the end

My heart beats fast
as I see the change
Your change but not by choice
My pupils dilate and my
Mind is clear of what must be done
My hands shake
My stomach turns
I thank god
But
I realize
my foolishness
my arrogance
my ignorance
my selfishness
If you mean so much to me
Why do I rejoice in your sadness
I inhale poison to calm my nerves
It is then when I realize
In my rush to come to you
That every fiber of my being
tells me that you
are very important
this means something
It has to
You deny its importance
But I have been alive for far too long
to place it as coincidence
I have to believe that

I dare you not my
distant observers
to try to simply
understand what I
see when I gaze to
the world around me.
For it would drive a
simple man or mind
to insanity
for how the world works
in my eyes it lives
a constant and giant
creature, as if a
Dragon cursing its
fire into all of
life, into their souls
It has plans like we
the mortals it sees
around it, but I
unlike all those that
see the world for what
they think it would be
I see it for what
it truly is, which
is a chain of cause
and effect cycling
infinitely for
all of time over
and over again.
And I can change it.
Turn this gear here and
there, in the gears of
the clock which is the
universe, we all
live in and with me
doing so, allows
me to change the world
but not for my own.

Listen
to me
I am an old man
rigid
and
fixed
stuck in the way
I have
always
done
and you
broke that
down
from being
one
type
to being full
of life and energy
to be a tired bitter old man
into a mad man lost without his box
because I don't need all of time and space
when I smile
because
of