i fell in love with the way your eyes stared at my imperfections and how you told me they reminded you of your favorite place to be

maybe i keep
running away from You
because i am afraid
to let You love me,
maybe i keep running
because i don't want to
believe that grace and
mercy are waiting for me
maybe i keep running
because i know i don't
deserve what You
want to give me and maybe
i keep running
because it's not fair
that You keep chasing me
but i don't want to run;
i want to stay trapped
in your heart
and know by heart
the rhythm of your breathing
i want to never escape
the stronghold of your embrace
i want to stay and never leave
and never wander and never run.

what the **** is going on

dear me,
this is you.
me.
get up.
the ground is your reward
it will hold you when
you are done
hold you with all force
you
are not done
put a silencing finger
to the singing
of  all fat ladies
this is not over
real in all finish lines
steal the sound  of the
metal ringing hanging in the air and
put back in the bell
one more round we go.

get up.
there are sunsets that need
to be signed off on
snowfalls that need your approval.
starry nights like sad
lovers who's beauty
has gone unnoticed in the glare
of television sets
they are looking for
volunteers to notice them
raise your hand
step forward
you will not be chastised
for staring some beauty some beauty
wants to be seen

get up.
as if the simple act of
standing has brought you closer
to the cosmos as you
have ever previously been.
as if all the stars you've seen
busy looking back
taking notes and keeping track
of which wishes need granting
they heard you ask for
strength
show them you havent wasted it.


..

s.d.

"hey"

"yeah?"

"you're still beautiful,"

"thanks."

"welcome."

and that will be it.
it will happen like this:

the conversations will go
from 5 hours to 1.

the way you look at me
will change from "how
could i live without you"
to "you're a friend"

the conversations
will go from 1 to none.

you won't even need to
look at me anymore,

and that will be it.
i'll no longer be apart of your life,

and that, will be it.

im glad we're talking
truly am
but I'm worried about something
am i just another one of the girls
you throw away and forget
sure,
you remind me I'm special and you care,
but could that so easily be thrown
away?
cast aside for me to constantly
wonder
what happened?
I'm just.
i don't know.



this was dumb

bye