There’s a crack in my windshield growing bigger by the day
It’s like a manifestation of the words I want to say
Your calm demeanor disrupts my flow
There’s more to you; there’s more to know

Of all the people I never would have guessed
And I’ve never been good at the marshmallow test
This change of pace I don’t quite get
Please kind sir, are you in love with me yet?

You are a monsoon
A reversal of the seasonal winds
Familiar
    and unpredictable
         and hot
I'm not prepared for you, not ready
You move too fast
Slow it down
Maybe I could teach you how?
But I reside in a very shallow sea
I’m not alone here though
And then I don't feel so bad
We want each other in two different ways
The distinctions are clear to me
Not as much to you
Assumptions can’t be made this early on
And we won’t exist long enough to possess any unit of measure
You and I are just a fleeting moment in time
A blip

But within that second we were great
*And you showed me a glimmer of life

I just want to know your soul
Your mind
And all I get is a sarcastic mindfuck
I just want sweetness
And kindness
And a little bit of vulnerability
I want to know I'm your world
And that I light up your life
That you couldn't live without me

And I wonder all of this
While you snore next to me

I wrestle with content
I lay with uneasiness
Where to find the truth
Is questionable at best

Is it in the shadows I see out of the corner of my eye?
Teasing me, meandering between their realm and mine
Telling me nothing but so much more
Dark, but purposeful and reaching

Or is it in the thoughts that run marathons through my mind?
No particular subject or theme
Yet scattered with meanings
Hinting to be stitched together

Or is it in the curve of a chest? (that makes me so digress…)
Soft and strong with sunlight inching in
I’m sinking…
          drifting…
              charging
Bone structures say so much

Hovering with no purpose…freedom
Yet craving to be tethered
To be dutiful or uninhibited?
For now I flirt with restlessness

This is a story of two
And how their relationship ensues
They're in mutual like
But neither will strike
A commitment is what he must choose

The tension was too much to handle
This was turning into quite a scandal
It started with head
In his big comfy bed
He made her *** in the light of the candle

The best *** they’ve ever had
She could tell this was getting bad
But he had a big ****
Though he usually came quick
The afterglow made them go mad

Despite all the shared passion
She questioned his *****-call fashion
“Come over and hang out”
Was now a source of doubt
But she could still find some compassion

Like the way he’d come up from behind
And hold her so close, intertwined
She could tell this was prime
And for the first time
She liked a form, but also a mind

If only he knew she’d go for it
They’d **** the world with their charm and wit
He’d keep her on track
And she’d love him back
Can’t he see they’d make a good fit?

Well I guess that is how it goes
When both parties enjoy writing prose
The feelings they hide
Get locked up inside
Their hearts left to decompose

A perfect life
A beautiful girl
Popular by definition
Beautiful curls

The struggle to be fit
And a histrionic mother
Paints a flawed picture
Like no other

A secret relationship
Between the best friend and boyfriend
A storm is brewing
She cannot comprehend

A beautiful breakdown
The boyfriend is urging
She wants to keep up
No longer a ******

A beautiful mess
But no splendor to be found
Like three yellow roses
Crushed on the ground

Would it be so bad
If I just held your hand?
Or maybe touch your fingertips
And ignite
Create a glow
To warm this cold night

I think it would be fair
If you ran your fingers through my hair
Brushing it back
Memorizing, taking in every freckle and curve
How I would like that

I think it's safe to say
You touched my soul today
But to become too attached?
Instead I'll be the girl
That you might never catch

My mind is like a chemistry set
Mixing and reacting
Messes counteracting
I discover
Insolubility
Search for my identity
What’s my responsibility?
Reality?
Just wanna have serenity
Worn out positivity
But I’m not jaded
I’m periodically faded
Not easily persuaded
By the things they have created
Have never been degraded
Or hated
I don’t know what that’s like
All I know is it’s wrong
I want to be in the right!
Because love conquers ALL
No fight
In love with the light
At first sight
One thing ties us together
We are human
We are being
And breathing
That’s what I’m believing
So smile and go the extra mile

*Make your existence worthwhile

The stars above her head they glow
I beg a peace of mind to know
That when you go back home so long
You won't see her, don't play her song

Bliss so deep and trust so fair
No matter what, I'll always care
But please don't tell me what I deserve
I said I'm here, those aren't just words

And I will miss that time we made out to Miles
That night brought tears to the turntable dial
And despite all the words you desperately say
I can tell; I know you are not okay

I must be honest, I'm not sure
If this will die or long endure
I cannot keep serendipity at bay
But I'm still scared dear, and I want you to stay

Cheap champagne and cigarettes
              And music
              You sing to me (that’s new)
You say exactly what’s on your mind
I don't like being caught off my guard
You leave me tongue tied, Tongue Tied
(but it’s easier when I'm drunk)

You fall too hard
Too quickly
I can tell
         So
              do
                     I
But I can’t do that again

You’re everything I could ever want
Yet I won’t commit
I know that

You’re writing songs about me
Don't do that
            (oh but please do!)
Don’t fall in love with me

Engaged in combat
No ceasefire
A beautiful mess
A chaotic art
Head vs. heart
Lately I side with the heart

How can one fathom
The love in those rooms
In the embrace of the hugs
That literally save lives?

How does one comprehend
This incompatible combination of
Weakness and sentimentality
Of a bad cup of coffee?

How does one understand
The stories and backgrounds
And pain
And sorrow
And happiness
And spirituality
And laughter
And acceptance
Of this truly motley crew?

Unless you have been in their shoes
It may be impossible to completely know
But I’m okay with a glimpse
Into their beautiful world

I'm a soul
I'm alive
One does not simply handle me
I'm a story
I'm a book
How well have you read me?
I admit
I am vain
But I am anything but shallow
I'm a catch
I am prey
I'll be the one to get away

I hurt
All over
There’s an aching in my chest
A pressure; a soreness like I’ve been smoking all night
I cannot breath
I’m exhausted
I’ve been in bed all day
I feel like I could sleep forever
I’ve lost my appetite
It feels like I haven’t eaten in days
I’m cold
An icy, persistent cold
I never feel this way
And I don’t like it
But don’t worry
I’m not depressed
I just have the flu

There has always been a problem
With the way my relationships
End up
And only now have I realized
What the problem is
I always give so much
Without even realizing it
Maybe too much
They always say
“You make me a better person,
You’re my better half”
But I can never say the same
They feed off me
I’m an energy source
And then when it ends
It makes it all the worse for them
I am too extreme for them
I want the roles to be reversed
I want to feed off someone for once
I think I deserve that
After having to put up with
Bat **** crazy

That feeling
It’s back
After not feeling it for a long time
After thinking I would never feel it again
I thought it was gone
Burnt out
Faded and drained
But I was wrong
It’s back!
Stupid grin
Butterflies
****, now I have to learn how to flirt again

We stood on the ocean cliff
Olfactory memories comfort my restless mind
My fingers dance
I could take your hand
We would float down to our make believe paradise
The home we'll never have

What does it take to have no inhibitions?
To not care about rules
Or what people think

To be solely yourself or whatever you want to be
How do you get to that point
Without paying attention to former conditioning?

To wear what you want
To say what you want
To feel what you want
To love who you want
To **** who you want
In any way you want

What does it take to run away?
Where nobody knows you
Or cares enough to find out

What a life that would be
If I could start over
And be a whole new me

"It's a work in progress"

"But it's YOUR work in progress.
That's what matters to me

I'm proud of you. "

The candlelight glowed through the glass of beer on the coffee table.
The bubbles float to the top just like our laughter, rising over the soundtrack of the night.
The haze I see grows around your face,
Like a halo of slight debauchery framing chestnut eyes.
Take this moment and let it fly
We're going to take it far.

Do you ever see your eyes change color?
A little extra light
A difference ever so subtle.
Maybe it's your soul?
Fighting to be seen
Yearning to be known