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Star Gazer Aug 2016
People said 'days end, when nights come'
and the same happens for the morning sun,
But lately I've got them all confused,
I don't know if I'm staring at stars
Or watching the headlights of cars;
I don't know if I'm glancing at the moon
Or whether I'm walking through a zoo.
I've been sitting on fences picketing the news;
And I'm still blind despite all the clues.

In the final moment
Although her eyes weren't open
Her smile was never broken
Just somehow, somewhat missing
And in my fading vision;
I saw her smile return;
Completely embraced by life.

I've witnessed myself drunk before;
When for was used before the word ever,
Where forever could never be severed
And the bottles weren't mixed with tears.
I remember drinking myself silly;
people said 'alcohol removes your fears'
and the same happens for my peers...
But I did not grow the least bit braver
In a hailstorm of battles that could
only ever be won by giving up.

I saw the universe in your eyes,
And I watched the universe burn
Along with everything in it.
People said 'days end, when nights come'
and the same happens for the morning sun...
But for me;
days don't end, nights don't end
The curtain draw was not closer
And though I can be sober,
I was drunk on the starlight;
more than I was sober by the sunlight;
the days don't end, nights don't end
when I have to live without my best friend.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
The door knock came in
But I was busy running away
I'd learnt that away
Was how I would stay safe.
Little did I know
That it was out of my control,
the door knock came in
And I really hated being alone
So I left the door open.
I thought I would stay safe
Little did I know
that safe was synonymous with fate.
I found safety in your eyes,
That little devilish smile
And the way you'd make me laugh
Even though I've been too sad
To know how to smile
Yet you managed to show me again.

But that was not what happened.
The door knock came,
And I was not home to receive it;
Now I sit in grievance
Over how I let that heartbeat
That beats in tempo with mine
Vanish...
Star Gazer Aug 2016
I don't know where you are
And I can't help but wonder.
I've done wrong by you
More than I've done right by you.
I guess I had a narrowed view,
I'm sorry. But words mean so little,
Are you having fun at least?
It's strange to ask these questions
And I can't help but hoping
That you're in every way okay.
I guess 'I miss you'
is a tad bit late
I've been at fault
Made a lot of mistakes
Especially towards you,

Come a few years,
Hopefully this will all
be a distant memory
The long distance
Was indeed vicious.
I hope you're happy
No matter what.
Stay strong
As I know you have been.
This will probably not be read
or seen
But I'm sorry for everything.

May the stars
Bless you with a chance
To find everything you want.
Someone who did wrong by you:
KL.
PS: Please don't forget your worth. You are amazing and you deserve all the happiness in the world.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
Maybe she and I,
We're not so alike,
When I saw the ground,
She saw the sky.
When I was happy
She wanted to cry.
Maybe we weren't meant to find each other
Or we weren't meant to be lovers.
The world is full of maybes,
But there's one thing that I can't deny,
even though we weren't alike,
I just wish she was by my side.
Maybe insanity, is trying to forget
someone you wish to never forget.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
constant up and downs
like we're looking to find
but never actually found
that peaceful inner place
but maybe that inner space
isn't exactly a space
we were ever meant to find.
Maybe we were meant to find
it in someone else
a simple beg for help
a simple cry or yelp,
it's magical.
But maybe magic wasn't
ever meant to be found
in ourselves but in others.
We've found food from our mothers,
caught fights with our brothers
taught love to others
and even frowned upon fathers.
Maybe magic isn't something inside us,
maybe magic is inside people that we love,
the strength to lift a heavy car
or leap tall buildings in a single jump
maybe the only way to rise is up
and maybe we can only do it by love,
but life is full of maybes
and in December, bees seem to disappear,
maybe to never reappear
but the sting will always be there.
One thing we can be certain
is that we can always find magic
in someone else
and at most times,
a little inkling of magic
is left in ourselves.

Let's realise that happiness isn't magic,
it just feels magical
and maybe we can spread this magic,
because maybe's exist in our world.
We may not be all wizards or witches
but lets try to cast a little happiness
to the ones we love.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
"Forget me already. It's not mmm... good for you to still remember me. Uhh; I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.

Sarah wasn't your average university student, ash blonde with streaks of red in her hair, slim tanned legs just enough to make a young teen salivate. She was neither tall nor short, and if Goldilocks had met Sarah before Goldilocks would have exclaimed 'just right' about Sarah's height. You couldn't tell whether she was rich nor poor because Sarah had always worn amiable denim jeans though they were always ripped. It could have just been her fashion statement, a sardonic "looky over here people. I'm charming pfft, no one knows how charming I am and I don't even have to show skin to do so". Sarah though seemingly perfect on the surface, had always had self esteem issues; she'd mumble sentences and say "don't worry" when she struggled to convey herself.

"... Please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.
    To Jim, this was the usual request he'd heard over and over. At this point, about a million and twenty three times; it no longer phased him. Jim gulped in a mouthful of air before going onto his retaliation; except his retaliation did not involve calling her 'a *****' nor did it involve calling her 'a **** covered ***** that no one will ever love'. No... Jim was civil tongued in a rather strange demeanour.

"Sarah darling. The moment I forget you, the skies will fall, the clouds will shake, rain will flood the Earth because the very second I forget you, my world and I will have been destroyed", Jim said with a sheepish grin. Jim was a cunning man, almost too smart for his own good at times. He'd always reminisce on that one date he had with Sarah. He had taken her to a nearby farm, and nearby to a suburban kid was a two and half hour drive. The farm was not the most romantic place but to Jim, cow manure and sheep manure whispered "this is the most organic and romantic place you can ever find". The minute they had arrived in the general location of the farm, Sarah had already been, hungry, tired, sleepy, angry and most of all she had to put up with Jim not revealing anything to her....So fear was one of the cause of her anxiety with Jim, though she could trust Jim with her life so it somewhat lessened, the very moment that fear piqued.

The ground, wet soil, faint smells of manure, 'Nature'. Jim flaunted the minute he had arrived "HOLY SHEEP! Look around Sarah, aren't they wonderful?"
          Sarah mumbled, as she most likely always does "they....mmmm....they are nice....umm I guess".

Jim projected his voice, shocking Sarah again, but at this point a feather falling to the ground would have spooked poor little Sarah. "SARAH! Look over here. Do you see the cow. Why don't we call her Cherry?"

"Why Cherry?" Sarah asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Jim took a big breath of the farmland air "Because ...cherries are edible."

Sarah slightly disgusted but with a smile on her face nonetheless.

Suddenly, Jim grew quiet; and for a blabbermouth, 'would forget to breathe because he's talking' Jim, this is a pointer that there may be something that wasn't exactly right.

Jim spoke, breaking the silence created by the void of words that was Jim and Sarah, 'Babe. I've been thinking... and before you jump to conclusions, no we are not breaking up, not on a farmland, that's how you'll **** me and feed my bodies to the pig or something....and nothing eats Jim Thorens except dinosaurs. I wanted to say, I've been thinking about how lucky I am. No I didn't win the lottery, nor did I come to an inheritance of a million dollars; one because I don't gamble and two because ...my shitheap of a family won't even leave a cent to me probably. But I am a lucky man, because I have you and having you is like winning the lottery. It is like inheriting a million dollars. It is like having the palms of the world, in a single minute I get to hold your hand."

Sarah spoke, tears invading the corner of her eyes, "Maybe this world is too good for us. I don't know but lately, it feels as though walls are collapsing and I can't keep feigning it anymore. I chose to come along with you in hopes you'd end things with me", Sarah had hardly ever spoken for so long without a few umms or ahhs in the way, but this time something came over her.

"...But I love you babe. Don't you love me?" Jim building a bridge to clear the doubt in between their relationships. Sadly, the bridge he built in the form of a question did not support the weight that they both held. One loving too much, and another loving too little.

A few days had passed. Well what was a few days for those who aren't heartbroken, felt like decades for those with a hellish hole forming in their hearts. A few days, merely a few days, with the overclouding, overbearing sensation of a lifetime.

Jim Thorens had called Sarah Silva to arrange a meeting, with the tone of 'complete strangers, who tried to hid that they were past lovers'. "Hey Sarah, It's Jim here. I've been wondering if...ummm if you'd ahh want to get a coffee. So we can have a little umm chat?" Jim spoke as he left a voicemail.

Jim Thorens saw Sarah Silva making her way to the empty chair in front of him, a smile lit on his face as it had always done in the before-times. Except now, it wasn't the same as the before times.

"Forget me already." Sarah mouthed in silence and though Jim could not read lips, he understood. He understood every bit of that silent air.

"Forget me already. It's not good for you to still remember me. I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face and a subtle roll of her eyes. This time, Jim's pain was audible.

"What if we..." Jim started to speak before being completely cut off by Sarah.

"Don't worry". Sarah said, as she stood up and left.
Star Gazer Aug 2016
It was friendly love,
The way they pushed him off a flight of stairs,
Crippled him emotionally to extent, no one cares,
Deflated his ego whenever it was apparent,
Crushed his soul by mentioning the loss of his parent,
Tore his world apart by the cruel nature of words,
Their own ferocity and cruelty they never heard,
For it was not their reality crumbling brick by brick,
Imparting a daunting nightmare for a mind becoming sick.
        Its was friendly love....
                                            At least that was what they called it...
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