Heart racing up
Burned my world to the ground
Pictures playing in my head
Lost my senses each second

Sorry, you said
Say it to my light that you dimmed
Say it to my hate that you caused
My agony
My disgust
My ideas of love that you crushed

Sorry, you said
I’m sorry
Was it really a mistake
I’m sorry
It was the choice of one’s self

Doubting
Arguing
Nagging
Pushing

This, this isnt us
Should we be

Supporting
Caring
Loving
Pulling?

That, that is obvious
Isnt it?

I am not sure how October looked like to you
though its a damp rainy month at southern hemisphere
I like to see it through north
a month that pictured a big preparation
a preparation to survive through the cold
it feels like the time when earth is trying to protect all of the lives within
maybe you are my earth

where the daylight becomes shorter
the temperature cools down
and leaves fall from trees
to the earth surface
just like me
to you

“grow up” they say,
pushed me to the edge with
a chain locked in my feet

“be independent” they say,
hang a string in my neck
and tell me what is wrong and right

“be grateful” they say,
hands offered life
but walk away each night

“help” shall i say,
unable to move without a hand
in my string

“help”,
words choked up in my lungs
brain making senses

am i really that helpless, or you are the one who drained my soul?

“i put a smile on my face because you exist.”

and i prepared a frown in my palm incase you vanished

Pelipur datang menyapa Lara
"lihat aku" bisiknya,
ia datang tepat ketika Lara ingin mengalihkan mata
muak melihat Bara
"sini, ikut aku" bisiknya,
ia datang membawa nada
Lara ingin berdansa!

boleh kah?

"boleh!" teriaknya,
"dansa!" dansa hingga Pelipur menyatu dengan Lara,

menjadi sebuah asa,

bahagia

“when was the last time you feel happy?”

i ask this question a lot,

to my friend who seems got it all

to my relative who got his life all settled

even to my parents

they stopped and lost for a moment

happiness,

is a confusing feeling

you could feel happy

but not really happy,

until you meet your high school friends

your old lover

those warm feelings they give,

hug you with comfort

bring back the old memories,

the wide smile, the non – stop laughter, the feel of being set free, fly and being extremely happy to the most silliest thing, it almost feels like there was no burden

no scary thoughts of the future

no consideration of which bad or good

nothing, just happiness

now i believe you are happy

but dont you miss being really happy?