Jovial? No
Immobilized? Yes

Numbness consumes me
I see nothing but gray
As I pretend to be alright

False pretenses
Prompted by shallow frauds
Stab my back with sharpened words

Invigorating listlessness
Promising termination
Wishing to dissolve

Mundane existence
Vast expanse of oblivion
Waiting for pronouncement

earthy tones surround me
resting on my chest
as a blanket rests on a child

the pressure builds
deep breaths grow shallow
soil fills ****** lungs

still alive but not living
still human but not all there
still feeling but going numb

struggling lungs cave inwards
rosy lips fade blue
as life evades youthful eyes

shallow breaths grow silent
the war has long been lost
the agony of days dead and buried