liquid quakes hits our crystal glasses
my smile has gone too transparent to hide it
wasted attempts with cashmere and merlot
it’s made my skin flushed and eyes gloss over
even dinner feels like gravel past my canines
spitting a few half chewed bites into napkins
feeling the spins..
manners, mania, morals and mindfucks  
misled while magnificently accoutred
you wouldn’t really bring me here to do this, would you?

mindless inhibitions
making me question my decisions
you’d think theses fists had a conscience of their own,
taking low blows, taking shots quicker than your bow
believe it or not, i’d rather tables were turned
id rather take the hit, knock me out
put me to sleep, black me out
matter of fact knock my head clean off
take my dome out back, play hacky sack

if i reincarnate i pray this time i less intimidate
i pray i know my role and i pray play it well
but before i leave leave his kingdom, before locking those pearly gates
pray i don’t forget my keys and pray i don’t forget my grace

wish they sent you off to Guantánamo Bay
with all your ******* lies and your two faced frame
block my calls but you never had anything to say
pathological ******* in a dress too small
all you let out are sighs and newport smoke while throwing empty packs your moldy 4 door

half a life at the edge of a peak
the wrong moves, the wrong queues
chased you and finally experienced ******
high on your *** and sweat
patient to obtain just a taste
i heard dragons love the chase
i remember reading about you in old books
you were chased by ancient knights
men once so noble and proud
turned pitiful and crouched
begging to be cut by your scales
for i doubt something so divine ages
not when you drink blood and **** glory
watch them crawling mountains you marked and sprayed
watch them die searching for your sent
watch me live in your name
studying your words like scripture
religion, reign, discipline and desire
tormented minds, motherless ties
dancing in your shadows, that’s where you’ll find me
i will never submit again until i’m in your hands

eighteen, maybe nineteen?
cool headed, collected, deprecation of a mother’s touch
yet so much perpetrated self love developed over years “you’re so beyond your..” you know what never mind
for someone self assured you to still need some assurance
you definitely did that night
and i was convinced i was deserving of what i never had.
god deprives is of more than we’d like to admit
pleasure will change the view
that pit in your stomach was foreshadowing the bowl of acid tossed in my face (metaphorically)
and ironically we fight it knowing it’s going to defeat us in the end.
if only we listened.
i should have known better
i knew it was gonna be hard i just didn’t expect you to quit.
not sure what i expected, maybe you to try or some ****

hey i’m sorry for dropping that bomb
im trying not to overthink your one word responses
“ditto”
so take a **** in your coffin cause we’ve think we lost it
i never wanted to be a mother before i met you
let me be your mommy
i hate the way i want you
i mean i hate the way you want me
you latch with love like no other baby boy
i don’t want to nurture
i should have kept composure
i probably shouldn’t have lead you on
now you’re probably thrown off
she don’t seem so strong now huh?
she’s just a phase.
he got a new baby, he got a new mommy
i’m lost, but i can’t call for my mommy
i think i feel sick
just digging dirt out of my mind
piles of “i want to see you so bad”
and “lol i’m so lazy”