if i were a fish
id be a bird
and have no home
but everywhere

flying deep into
blue waters
singing songs
to clear skies ahead

that is what
i have always been
something in between
and something opposite
but in love with everything

wind in waters
waves in air
full breaths in
whatever is warmed
by sunshine
and softly kissed
by moon glow

the stars are always shining
beyond where our eyes can see
and bittersweet life flows through all
even for those on the in-between

Rain beats down upon
unlit sidewalks
the black world of
whispers unseen

my fingers grip each other
wringing, unsure of themselves
eyes closed against the darkness
finding it only deeper within

it’s as if I have a shotgun in my mouth
and I like the taste of the gunmetal
a pure metallic sharpness
that leaves all else to rot and decay
in the wilderness of my dismay

where do I turn when everything has left?
all directions look the same
when staying here is no different
from shifting there

the only movement is from
the drums resounding inside
pounding the rhythm of truth

someone once told me
that we are all connected
strings tying hearts
careful knots in all of us

at times we feel cut
severed and alone
nothing touches us
no hands held out to save

but beneath the surface
feeling around in the black
we find these strings
infinite in number and strength

unbroken

A year younger
A year older
And always searching
But can "it" be found?

Explanations are alterations of what we see
While holding our breath under water
We don't belong, we don't fit in
Nonetheless we are there, we exist

Existing and living
A desert to a rainforest
And yet we remain parched
Breathing dirt and sand

We are fireworks, stars, and roller-coaster rides
Where moments seem infinite
While only occupying seconds
Not even extant at all

An after-image burned in our memories
An inspirational copy of former self
Backwards beings
Backwards thoughts

Seconds, seconds
Are all we have
To burn brightly
Hoping to create a spark
That ignites the wildfire

Mistakes become badges
You wear on your sleeve
Preaching "humility!" "kindness!"
Things you have learned the hard way

We stumble, and fall
To only sometimes get up
And walk away from the rubble
That is the monument to the past

We must remember that waves
Are just parts of the largeness
Of the grandness
Of the ocean

And that all things
Are caused by other happenings
That are caused by other instances
That weren't out to get you

We are all the same
In that we are all different
In that we are all struggling
Towards a mountain's peak

What I wish I was taught
Years and years ago
(Or maybe it's just something
I wished I listened to in the first place)

Is that there is no mountain peak
That what really brings all of the everythings of wishes
Is recognizing the wind that rustles a leaf
On a struggling plant on the bottom of a forest

That the insignificance is the importance
That the smallness is really overwhelming
In meaning and truth

When we notice the path we are taking, we find the answer to ourselves:
Always mistakenly thinking it lead to a mountain of happiness,
But realizing it's really a road of joy we've been on the whole time.

There is a river
That flows through me
Tearing at me
As i stand upon the banks
Trying to resist the strength of it

Drowning
Gasping
No air
No breath
No life

The world
blinks
In and out
Out and in
As the waters rage

Then...
I let go...
Let my body...
Fall...

And under the current
There is life
And under the life
There is wonder

I realize
I am swimming
When I'm not fighting
And the rainbow of colors
Inside myself is blinding

The river is not the villain
It is only the path toward destiny

And the beauty below:
The glistening of sunlight
Underneath the waves
Is pure
and free

Body:
Blood and Tissue.
Bones and Muscle.
Heart pumping
the rhythm that is
Real,
Visceral.

There is still
room
for the Soul.

The thunder spoke
to the lightning
but the lightning couldn’t hear.

So the lightning shone
to guide the way,
but the thunder couldn’t see.

So they wandered endlessly
toward each other,
but away

We are the lost.
the drink is drained to the last
dropping slowly through
infecting sound and vision,
we stumble towards a light
to find a firefly, resting in the air,
humming a brilliance within its belly.

things are not always as they seem
words cannot easily be read through clouded eyes,
but sometimes it is perfect
to rest in this haze
feeling not the past or future,
but the moment of lightness.

The past is vibrant
Bright as the newly formed rainbow
After a hazy morning rain
But how real is it?

We look back in reverence
When we should look forward in hope

We throw salt
in the wounds of our aching dreams
By not believing in them
By feeling sorry for ourselves
By forgetting them entirely

Smoking them out
Drowning them out

We are the warriors of the night
With no banner to ride under
No war cry to call out
The roar of our souls is dimmed
In a world that values silence

I say let's break out
Of this fishbowl we've been circling
The glass is cracked by new thought
And smashed by new beginnings

Let's reach out and grasp
The meanings of ourselves
For they are beyond the routine
Of growing up, growing old, and going out

Let's live the life
we've always meant to

It's not a year from now
Or ten years from now
Or twenty
It was yesterday.

Your heart,
Like the base line
Of your soul song,
Thrumming with life,

In the moon glow,
Listening to the peace
Of your breath,
Steady and strong.

The music of
our journey is
sweet kisses
on this,
The night of beginnings
that never end…

We have lived,
Yet we cannot value life.
Death reaps no rewards,
Yet that is the ultimate.

Living truly we must forget.

To find magic,
We must believe in the unknowable,
And float in between
Knowledge and Ignorance.

No balance can exist through force.

A single note
r e v e r b e r a t e s
and flows
dancing around the room
reminiscing of the silence
that came before it.