Please don't drink out of my glass.
I don't mean to be crass
but please show some class
and refrain from drinking out of my glass.

Please don't drink out of my glass.
Sorry to be so unkind
but I don't want to find
your saliva, alas.
So please don't drink out of my glass.

Please don't drink from my glass.
I know it's not social
to be going so postal but your sipping is driving me crazy
and now that my judgment has grown rather hazy
I just might give you a swift kick in the *** so please!
Don't drink out of my glass!

He went looking for Pace-Maker Mary
and found her with Dollar Jane.
Who’s to blame?

She said it was none of his business
She said she’ll see whom she pleases
She said she was tired of men
and especially tired of geezers.

She said she wanted a new life
one without the ******.
It gave her the blues to be always in shoes that hurt her heels and sciatica.
That it was nice for a change to be the one with the game
the one who’s doing the chasing.
And if that don’t sit she don’t care a bit
now excuse me my Janey is waiting.  

But he’ll wait forever for Pace-Maker Mary
however long it takes.
He’ll bide his time
until he finds
the thing that makes her tick.