it has dawned on me
that when I get I to bed
At night
It's quiet
A little too quiet
And I realized the reason why it's so quiet
Is because your not next to me
Your breathing is not in my ear
Your arms are not wrapped tightly around my body
Your fingers are not tickling my back,
helping me into my sleepy state of mind

And now it's not too silent anymore
The only sound in the room
Are my quiet sobs
Because I know
You're not here
You won't be here
With me
In my bed
Ever

I've realized over the years
How some things we don't talk about
We'd rather just brush it off
And give a big smile
As if everything was fine.

I've always asked myself
'How can you love someone you've never met?'
You've never seen their smile in person
Never heard their beautiful laugh
Never felt their warm touch
And with these thoughts,
I realized one thing
I am that person
I'm in  love someone I've never met
He'll never how happy he makes me
Or how much he means to me
My friends think I'm crazy
And they question me about it
But to be honest I don't have an answer myself
It's weird
And strange
And incredibly sad
That ill never be able to touch you
To kiss you
To hug you
To tell you how much I love you
In person

It makes me feel foolish
And upset
And sad

But what really confuses me
Is the fact that the only thing which makes me less sad,
Is your smile.