When he hurts you, I won't say I told you so
because it's not my job
to protect you
much as I want to
when he hurts you,
I won't say anything
because I won't be here

I hope you're not referencing us when you say
you "tried" a three-person relationship
darling you didn't even come close to a relationship with us
but then again,
I know how distant your "friendships" are
so I shouldn't be surprised
if you consider the brief time we had "trying"

It's been over a year since you said goodbye
we were good enough
better than all the rest, in fact
but still said goodbye

I should leave now,
run far away
but you'd still haunt me
with what-was' and what-ifs
like you do til this day

And just like magick, the merest glimpse of you will pull your memory across my mind,
I dreamt of you again last night
You walked in, and said "I'm here"
and were ready
Not sure,
but curious at least
And I tried so hard
to think of things to say
that would let you know
how much I've missed you,
and I'm so excited you're
willing to try,
and not scare you off
And you seem nervous,
but smilingly so,
and not at all poised to dart
For once believing more in the
possibilities than the certainties...

And then I wake up.
Not only have I slept in,
and it's terribly hot,
you're not there again
As I knew you wouldn't be.

"Write hard and clear about what hurts." -- Ernest Hemingway

It hurts that my grandmother might not be around for my wedding
It hurts that my grandfather may be, but may not remember it
It hurts that I live so far my from people I love
It hurts knowing they will hurt when I tell them I want to move clear across the country
It hurts that I am stuck here, facing people I would rather avoid
It hurts that a place I called home has turned on me
It hurts more that I may be imagining they have turned on me
It hurts to think I may have disappointed the first person to give me a chance
It hurts that people I once called friends will speak so bitterly about me
It hurts that, ten months later, I so strongly miss someone who melds perfectly with us
It hurts that she would rather run than even attempt to see what it's like
It hurts that she may act so calm, as if nothing happened
It hurts that her facade is so strong, while mine crumbles at the sight of her
It hurts that the longer we go on, the more we risk becoming "that creepy older couple"
It hurts that it hurts him, when I still speak of wanting another
It hurts that I would not be complete without one or the other
It hurts that so many friends are married, and growing families
It hurts that I will have to defend my own choices in growing mine
It hurts that I must defend my family to my family
It hurts that so many people work the job that pays the bills, and the job they really love
It hurts that the job I love must be revealed strategically
It hurts that who I am must be revealed strategically
It hurts anticipating the hurt that will come from that judgement
It hurts when I try to broaden my horizons, and I can see the hurt in my best friend's eyes
It hurts watching people not fulfill their full potential
It hurts watching people work so hard, but still gain so little
It hurts working so hard in my job, becoming so tired that my joy, my passion falls by the wayside
It hurts that we work so hard for things that do not truly comfort us
It hurts that we take so little for granted
It hurts that we take so many for granted

I refuse to wipe myself clean
There is no starting over
There is no clean slate
Every experience, however unpleasant
Is a part of me

So I will not turn a blind eye
I will not delete the memories
I hurt, and I feel
And there is no running from the past
There is only turning the page

You miss us
We inspire you
As do you inspire us
You respect us,
And likewise, we respect you

If it were either one of us,
You'd take the chance
Together are we so intimidating?
We are ready and waiting to help
You take that leap, we will be your wings
On either side

We put our trust in you
To not hurt us
Ready to accept your trust
To not damage you either
The last thing we could ever want

Baby steps
I don't want the moon and stars from you
But a little companionship
And conversation

Any response...

Tell me inconsequential things
Tell me monumental things
Tell me all the in-between things
I want to know you more

I wonder if you talk to your friends of us
This crazy couple who wants you so desperately
Only desperate not to ignore a magnetism so full of potential
How can you deny yourself this?
But no, you wouldn't gossip
You're too private, and respectful for that
Just another of your fine qualities we admire

Detached, floating above the world
In your uncertainty
I would tell you how I've missed you
If I thought you were staying
But I'll not waste my breath if you're walking out again