I miss our nights,
Bad nights,
Before
Good nights,
Good times,
After the bad ones,
Good ****,
Before...
After...
The worst ones.

You found me,
Tought me,
Showed me,
How to roll it.

You were a good teacher,
You made me listen,
You were a good listener,
You made me talk.

You jocked,
I laughed,
You complained,
I cried.

You missef,
You loved,
You cared,
So did and do I.

Can't imagine my life with out you, am sitting here at the lake, staring at you face reflection on the water. Your face is everywhere, the happy, smiley, sad, mad and the happy face again face.

You helped me explore my self, you changed me a lot, i met myself right after i met you, no one ever told me how smart i am, even if am not very smart, but at least you said it, and i felt it for the first time.

You tought me how to fight, how to go through **** by my self, you didn't say that, but i learned it from your actions and your view of life.

You always smiled, even when you get really mad, you started the fight and ended, you started the conversation and kept it, you started me and you killed me.

Its been three days, two nights, 72 hours is the total. I'M still awake, didn't blink, am not tired tho, just enjoying the time while am watching a tape of you with all the moments crossing in front of my eyes.

Thank you for everything you'd done,
Thank you for all the encouragement words,
Thank you for finding my real personality,
Thank you for giving me the best moments,
Thank you for all the info. Doses you put in me,
Thank you for being there when no one was,
Thank you for listening to my boredom talks,
Thank you for making me feel like human,
Thank you for EVERYTHING, yes everything.

I have a lot to say, from the deepest part of my heart, but my i can't see nothing, my tears are covering the view. I was thankful for having you, waking up on your texts, maybe calls, but the most feeling your love while your sleeping on my shoulder.

Don't know what else to say, I'M IN LOVE WITH EVERY litters in your name, with every moment i hear your voice, whit every time i see your texts or emails, with every sec I have you in mind.

I don't care what you'd done, its all good, i already forget about it, you do whatever you want, its all good, fight and yell at me, its all good, HATE me, its all good, **** me, hurt me, insult me, **** me, do whatever you want, its all good. They all were like the heaven, i just knew that.

Ok, am done, words are killing me.
Ok, am done, you're too amazing to be written about.
Ok, am done,  I'm serious this time.

I just realized that i had the world between my hands, you loved me like no one else did, you really cared about me.
Excuse my JEALOUSY, it covered most of the view.
Excuse my EARS, i couldn't hear you talking to another guy.
Excuse my heart, made me too stupid to understand.

I just couldn't believe that am having a life after all these years. I thought it's a dream, but i was okay with that, i didn't want to wake up, and i lost you after the pomp that woke me up.

I just understood what you were saying,,,,,,
"Too good too bad" she says.

I LOVE YOU Melanie,
I LOVE YOU,
I ADORE YOU,Melanie
I ADORE YOU
YOU STILL MY EVERYTHING, and the only thing that i prayed every time to keep, but to bad, i didn't get that.


Diab,,,,,,,,,,,

I'm innocent 
everything goes opposite
LiFe has no abashment 
Problems are objects
Life is aberrant 
shoots hard bullets 
I'm innocent 
Life is full of coincidences
Hope people understand 
Life ? People abases 
Its a painful wound
No more absolves 
I'm innocent
I'm tired of myself
Sick of being the same
I feel like a werewolf 
Me , I did defame 
Myself is just a calf 
I'm innocent 
This what life wants 
No more tolerate
Live in aborts 
Small sins accumulate 
Chokes me with ascots 
I'm innocent 
I don't want this
Live in aversion 
It's only my bris 
Love must accretion 
Or live like the ******* nazis 
I'm innocent 
I NEED her back
Important in my life circle
keeps me on the track 
Every word is a canticle 
Wrack hack her lack clack 
I'm innocent 
She's the one i NEED
My life is She
Sweet, tasty like the aniseed 
The most important strophe 
Makes it shinny and adorned 
I'm innocent
I don't want drugs
I hate to scab 
Its not brags 
It hurts like a stab
Drugs is crags 

Edit by: Melanie on this fourteenth day of September, twenty thirteen

I MiSs YouR HeLl

BeFoRe YouR HeAVeN

SHouLD we MeeT At SheLL ?

NexT by bOMp sEVENn!!!

Overthinking while i was driving to WalMart, didn't feel good, worried and sad. My life is not good, and been fighting forever to make it good. 

I walked to the store, saw a couple with thier kid putting the stuff in a basket basket, so i thanked God i had a CART. 

heard a kid crying, his mom was shutting his mouth, he wanted a toy, but she couldn't tell him that she didn't have enough money to buy it, cuz he wouldn't understand, so i thanked God i dont have to deal with such a situation. 

Two young couples were trying to find the cheapest diapers, so they have enough money to buy milk for the kid, so i thanked God i am not them. 

A very huge guy was trying to find the best bills for loosing wieght, so i thanked God i never been there.

A young guy was driving the elctronic cart cuz he couldn't walk on his feet, so i thanked God i can.
 
A young girl asked her mom if walmart has mattreses cuz she was tired of sleeping on the couch, so i thanked God i sleep in a mattres. 

People were waiting their names to be called by the pharmasist, so i thanked God am not waiting. 

A man was getting his glass cuz he can't see well, so i thanked God i can see perfectly and i dont have to wear one. 

A customer was yelling at the cashier, and the cashier couldn't say a word to save his job, so i thanked God i am not him. 

A man's card was diclined, mine wasn't. 

A lady and her daughter were waiting for a ride in the cold weather, so i thanked God i had a ride. 

I put the bags in the trunk, and thought of what i saw, i cried and prayed for everyone to be happy, get what they want, and be able to deal with life. 

I don't have what they have, and they don't have what i have, no one is better than the other, but someone is satisfied of what they have, and the other isn't.

A year had past

I dont recall doing a good thing, i dont remember doing bad things too, all i can think of is a crackle followed by a smoke, the room going in a circle, and people are running away from me trying to stay away from that terrible person.

My mom had always told me that i should keep my money and to not give them away if i need them, but i thought that id be a bad person if i didnt give whoever asks me for some. I wish i listened to her words and took them seriously before i gave that someone money for his school and lost mine.  

My dad used to always tell me, "stay out of troubles or life will put you down". i thought people will take advantages of me if i followed my dads words put i wish i did because being a tough person all the time will only break you in the first weakness moment.

My teacher MR. Nill, once asked "What would happen if everyone treats others the way they treat them?"  I said, "We would live in woods and people would hate each other." He laughed and called me "Sweetheart"  i didnt know his meaning till today. The right answer should be "Thats the best way to live in a peace, so we can feel each others pain, cuz none of us likes to be hurt".

My love told me "Get off the drugs, i cant be next to a ""DRUG ADDICT"". I didnt see my reactions and the way i was acting, I though i was doing well and not being annoying, so i said "**** IT" she will get over it, but now I'M asking ( WHERE IS SHE??).

I LOST MY PARENTS AND MY SIBLINGS, MY LOVE AND OF COURSE MY self(thats how small i am).

So now after a year of using, I decided to quit and get my life together, its my second week off that SH*T, I am not getting back again. Thats FOR SURE.

BUT THE QUESTION IS "WILL I HAVE MY LOST BACK?"

WiTh YoU LOVE MeAnS

L ive
O ptimized
                        &
V alue
                      The
E nchanted
                                     "Together" 


WitHOuT YoU**


L eft
O utcasted
                               With A
V iolent
E mpty 
                              "Lost soul"