(2 PM)

I've been insatiably numb for a while.
it's hard to admit that,
being this codependent
is like being on trial.

Vulnerability is not my forte
and breaking your heart wasn't
the Right way
to tell you,

(2 AM)

that I've been listening to your voicemails
from when we were Seventeen
with nothing but Dreams.
now all we have is a few
Conversations that never happened.

'I miss you'
I miss you more

'I love you'
I always will

If you feel broken, imagine pouring the poison.

I doused myself in gasoline as you lit your cigarette.

Now, I have experienced several
types of love in my youth. Fiery, quiet,
and the kind that's mixed with a dose of
vermouth.

Though, I have grown tired
of ideas of settling down.
I fear to live a life
uninspired.

This kind of love, unexciting.
I prefer a poison,
some would say, is more
inviting.

A kind of love that tastes like fire,
where living our dreams
is most definitely
required.

I feel as though it is time to try
a new sensation.
This is unfortunately not a drunken
revelation.

Though I leave one pint behind,
be it trivial to most,
I believe I have found the right
Kind.

Tonight I feel like a thunderstorm

Been wrestling with my sheets.
I can't sleep.

The words you said are booming through my head

I am losing
my Mind.

It's about **** time,

you hear what I've been screaming for so long.

My brain is flooding with the words to this song that makes my body feel electric and my heart feels like it belongs,

Somewhere else.

A place I've never been but I can taste it like the liquor on my tongue. It's not just in my dreams, you see, I'll get there.

Not today though, because it's raining...and I'm blissfully drunk.

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highwayto a burning housesays you are blinding him that he could never leave you
forget you want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearableevery woman before or after you is doused in your name you fill his mouth his teeth ache with memory of taste his body just a long shadow seeking yours but you are always too intense frightening in the way you want him unashamed and sacrificial he tells you that no man can live up to the one who lives in your head and you tried to change didn't you?
closed your mouth more tried to be softer prettierless volatile, less awake but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams so what did you want to do love
Split his head open?you can't make homes out of human beings
Someone should have already told you that and if he wants to leave then let him leave you are terrifying and strange and beautiful something not everyone knows how to love....

Rome wasn't built in a day,

comparatively to the age of earth,
a single day is just a trillionth of a grain of sand.

Making me about 0.00000007435 grains of sand in the hourglass.

I am not your Athena and my studio apartment is not the Parthenon.

I consider myself a Modernist, modular.
No columns, pillars, domes, ornaments.

Just fire and cheap nicotine.

My bones and flesh will never be immaculate, my body is concrete and corrugated steel.

Based on classical mathematics I will never be perfect, yet I am still a perfectionist.

That is the infinite burden I bare.

You don't read my poetry, but in my poetry you do.