You came at me with a gun in your hand. Telling me I was wrong, you shouted it was all my fault and shot me in the chest and then ran out, and slammed the door. As I lay on the floor bleeding out, I just tried to understa,nd why. What did I do to deserve this. Where did I go wrong. Everything had been all right  not to long ago now I lay here with a hole straight though the heart eyes a vacant as the night sky.
I have died a thousand times  over and over again I have been though this pain but this time it feels way to real.

Sinking further in to the bleak and uncertaness of the dark.

Falling further into a lake of open wounds and crystal tears.

A place where weapons are made of lies and broken promises.

That is the stuff of nightmares, that is the stuff made from those three little words, ” I love you.”

what a sick and shattered reality this place is, the only reason one would want to be here, is if one wanted to die.

sinking further into this demented reality, knowing there is no coming back once I am gone.

Human is neither perfect nor imperfect,
they are a walking dumpster fire by design,
they  are flawed,yet they somehow manage to get by.

humanity is a disaster by design,
the rules society left in place
creating turmoil in its wake

there is no such thing as perfect
perfection is in the eye of the beholder
they set the standards.

I had everything and now I have nothin,
what was once within reach is now falling over a ledge into an  abyss of the unknown.
To have loved so easily and lost so quickly is my Achilles heal. Trust is not something so easily handed out yet I give it away like it was nothing,and in the end it all comes crashing back at me full force. What is ones opinion of a bad situation is that  feeling tenfold, what I feel is real but you where fake and I let you use me. Every time I fall for you it always ends the same. What one really wishes for is true happiness and you gave that to me, only to yank it away when things didn't go the way you wanted to. The only thing worse then a drug addiction is being the one they didn't chose. Heroine is her name and she is your mistress and I'll be the one tossed to the side. Left to my own demons and vices, to try to find a way to deal with what you left  me, you left me nothing I feel empty. You have taken everything I had to offer I have nothing left to offer yet I still have everything you threw aside.Ive come out on top but feel like I’ve lost.

As I lay down on this bed of tears I see you in my minds eye
As you walk by me in the streets, I feel a gut wrenching paint.
I see nothing on the other side, but it’s a way out.
Cars race by
I walk in the middle of the road
cars all stopping as I walk, honking their horns and then sweet release.
I am no longer.

Puff puff, I take another hit.
The smoke is so thick She can't breath,Let alone leave.
I ain't never seen a girl so far gone,
As to flee from the air we breath just to pass the pipe and do it all again.
Puff puff, this ***** so good it could last the whole night.
Drowning in the air  we breath, we
won’t try to swim so we choose to sink,
sink in to the reality that stares us in the face.
Life is like fine lace, it's full of holes, ways to get around the laws that were there to put us in place.
Puff puff we may have had enough but the nights still young, So we continued on
Puff puff its almost morning  nearly passed out, you could tell people were mourning
Mourning for the loss of their life.
The one they never had and the one they never will.
Puff puff now I know we've had to much this **** ain't good anymore for the addictions to strong, we’ll regret it in the end.

She cries internally for help,
all he  wants is to be accepted
But they keep silent.
No one will ever understand,
she feels so alone,
he is told stay silent.
No one wants to hear their problems
No one wants to know who they really are inside
Shut down by society
Someone dies and then it matters
For a little while the forgotten voices are heard
Then silenced soon to be forgotten again
They feel inadequate
The don’t know who to trust
if they break the silence they get sent away
Troubled teens
Silenced by our society
Felling forgotten
Feeling alone,

Everything we look for in life or after death is a distraction amongst all things to keep us sane, in our own worlds we seem whole but to the eyes of others we are unfit to live in their reality.
Everyone has a purpose in life, and that is to live to there fullest and fulfill there wildest dreams. They call us the lost , but are we truly lost, or do we just wandering among the stars and soaring above and beyond our hopes and expectations, for they say all who wander are not lost. Never give up on the hope that you feel like letting go, never let the things that you care about the most slip out of reach, for those things are what keep you grounded and those things in life are also needed to keep us whole. Ever wonder what it would be like to be so fee and happy that your existence doesn’t matter anymore? Never will we feel that for everything is to material to us, we look to closely at what we do not have and look at what we have and are no longer satisfied with just the simple things, we crave something we will never have, unbeknown to us what that is, we just know that it is unescapable even to one with everything they could ever desire for they still crave more. Even if we let go of things or promise its still gonna be there in our subconscious waiting to surface. Right now your probably reading this and wondering why there are so many punctuation errors or maybe you even spotted a few spelling errors maybe I used there instead of their and your thinking wow they must of over look it or are they just that stupid. It’s the tiny things that we notice that we tend to get hitched on and look at. Everything we do we either do be cause we want to or because we were programed (raised) to do so, to be so critical and logical all the time, because our society is growing. All who wander are not lost, but those who are lost to societies standards have chosen to stray down a dangerous path that we have only build to digress in to a jungle of hurt and pain, regret, shaming and above all making someone feel as if they them selves will never belong, lost to societies standards forever. We have lost another and another. Again and again because society makes it so they feel incomplete, no one will love them they are the out casts and they were not so lucky to stray on to a path that they would find suited them better, instead they stuck to the comfortable prison we have built for ourselves.

A bleak fog that is death
Our body's slowly aging
Getting older wishing
Wishing to be young and free again
Burning with passion
And yearning with fate.
The fog creeps closer
We grow older and search
Search for the well
They call the fountain of youth
We stumble we fall
Death shall have us all
We hear his whispers
We here his songs
Luring us closer
trying to beat dawn
Dawn comes and deaths fog disperses to come again at twilight
One more night and death will be upon us to never be young to burn with passion or yearn with fate
We are beyond death and beyond youth
One more time we say good buy as twilight comes and death has won.

Oh, what once was a dream turned into a haunting nightmare.
A nightmare that  soon turned to reality.
I though I had you forever.
Then I dreamed that you choose another.
Startled out of my terrifying dream. Was the true nightmare to come.
For what was once a blank screen.
Glowed a new message.
In that moment my eternalized fear became reality.
You are not the one.

There's something inside of me that's tearing me apart, a separate entity with a goal to beak the heart and even though something's missing I still find a way to keep on believing, when everything is wrong I just move on. No matter where we are. No matter what we do. It's just not what we had hoped for. I'm trying to love again and when I finally do I hope it's someone who's not you. because baby just maybe we where not meant to be.

Everything we look for in life or after death is a distraction amongst all things to keep us sane, in our own worlds we seem whole but to the eyes of others we are unfit to live in their reality.
Everyone has a purpose in life, and that is to live to there fullest and fulfill there wildest dreams. They call us the lost , but are we truly lost, or do we just wandering among the stars and soaring above and beyond our hopes and expectations, for they say all who wander are not lost. Never give up on the hope that you feel like letting go, never let the things that you care about the most slip out of reach, for those things are what keep you grounded and those things in life are also needed to keep us whole. Ever wonder what it would be like to be so fee and happy that your existence doesn't matter anymore? Never will we feel that for everything is to material to us, we look to closely at what we do not have and look at what we have and are no longer satisfied with just the simple things, we crave something we will never have, unbeknown to us what that is, we just know that it is unescapable  even to one with everything they could ever desire for they still crave more. Even if we let go of things or promise its still gonna be there in our subconscious waiting to surface. Right now your probably reading this and wondering why there are so many punctuation errors or maybe you even sotted a few spelling errors maybe I used there instead of their and your thinking wow did they must of over look it or are they just that stupid. It’s the tiny things that we notice that we tend to get hitched on and look at. Everything we do we either do be cause we want to or because we were programed (raised) to do so, to be so critical and logical all the time, because our society is growing. All who wander are not lost, but those who are lost to societies standards have chosen to stray down a dangerous path that we have only build to digress in to a jungle of hurt and pain, regret, shaming and above all making someone feel as if they them selves will never belong, lost to societies standards forever. We have lost another and another. Again and again because society makes it so they feel incomplete, no one will love them they are the out casts and they were not so lucky to stray on to  a path that they would find suited them better, instead they stuck to the comfortable prison we have built for ourselves.

Weather to say sorry I exist, or to apologize perfusely for something I didn’t do.

I am nothing to you, and I will become nothing, I amount to wasted space, a waste of resources that could be used on others.

I am an item to you, easily disposable, and yet.. I’m still around.

Why do all the things I hear, shame me for who I am?  I could easily retort that it’s not your body it’s mine, and that it’s not your life but mine, and then again I have no control over my life, he does, his name is society.

Like an abusive boyfriend, society tells me I’m not good enough, that I’ll never amount to anything, that I’ll always be nothing.

That is why I don’t know weather to say sorry I exist, or to apologize for the “wasted space”