I was that boy bobbed in blonde hair
smiling for the world.
Catholic tie and attire draped on my corpse.
I once felt the beat of the sun
as I trotted to church in navy dress socks.
The twilit sun roused my tiny frame,
smile dressed prim when day meant infinity.
I was a new born.
Isolation befriended me.
I used to crave for the corners of a stable room.
When I made friends
I forgot them at the school parking lot.
I played by myself when the other children turned to ghosts.
My blonde hair gleamed in the reflected glistening of the sun,
dripping to the floor like washable paint.
I forgot friends and I adapted to a new school.
I don’t make friends,
I fool ghosts to keep me from playing by myself.
The moon was bigger when I was four foot tall
and everyday was forever.
There used to be memories in those middle school class rooms,
there used to be living children.
I laughed because my hair had long since dulled in luster
and the universe finally noticed me in that corner.
The furniture migrated to newer houses,
but I haunted each one like it was my own.
My bones reached for the skies.
I painted masks under my skin.
And the universe bowed over me in that corner
where the shadows are too shy to answer
and gave me a special game to play.
I developed a sense of self under that cloud lit canopy.
Everyday swallowed into eternal.
I left friends at the door so I could walk to them.
The night licked the eve, and the universe gave me sickly.
High school wasn’t a fantasy,
I figured it out in my sleep.
The house looks best on new soil,
and the room’s never felt so expansive.
I trot along the tile,
universe at my every step,
it’s eyes already know mine.
I built a machine
or a demon to feign myself.
I had a smile that carried a soul in its arms.
I’ve never disowned that corner
where the world came to me.
I meet ghosts everyday,
the very few I invite home.
I’ve made love to philosophy and science before I counted the stars.
The universe ponders my shoulder
and gives me a glory to behold,
and a pencil to carry.
I used to be a boy of blonde hair and innocent grin
and day used to mean infinity.
I used to be the fragments of me.
Now I’m the boy that was me.

Maybe if I unsheathed the buttons so lovingly,
slipped them from their beds like children doting under the breath of my fingers,
I could be free
unwrap these tendril sleeves
unknot and untie like braided shoe laces
child smile booming on my lips
maybe I could slither out and under this jacket of rigid strait edge,
maybe I could lick the clouds with my unclaimed hands
bathe in unrestraint,
Tug upon the chains of God’s grace
Burn these walls
and cut down the servants of white gowns and latex gloves
those thieves and miscreants,
Demons of pill born needles,
Strip down my skin and carcass
relinquish all of human trait
to bore over them as the demon they boldly create,
the ******* of razor bladed teeth,
Leather based restraint,
They so dutifully attempt to restrain me,
I’ll finger paint with their brain splatter,
just unstitch this jacket,
rouse the children from their sleeping,
unbutton them so verily gently,
Please mother unbind my wings,
coddle my wound,
Mother dearest might I finally go to you

It’s that of losing sensory touch,
my every emotional synthetic lost beneath this skin.
Plastic or that of parchment flesh,
feelings no longer flow and flex beneath,
the electrical current died mid dance,
all is hollow,
no outer force relieves my eternal,
this faceless numbness,
the only emotion that leaves a sting,
cinges my cadaver nerves
is the flame of frustration,
the itch of anger and irritation.
I find it much more playful
than the spineless dolls of dorment feeling,
it’s the only one that gives me a response,
the latter are that of loosely tangible
lost to that of my feelingless far spaces
of the brain for later use and development,
for now all is lukewarm,
so muffled in psychopathic,
isolation carves the human out of me,
leaves nacked nerves sensitive only to that of the burn,
i’m best left dead when alone,
i’m more than half way there.

Smile so haunting with devilish
or fiendish
or that of charming aesthetics,
the slender creature of a man
parched flesh of paper
would flick his eyes bright
and stir crazy as embers
about the stage,
his hair a mat of threads,
ancient and animalistic,
yet of thick wafting softness,
he appears so gentle,
so timid
child eyes brushed by his bangs
yet confident in that grin
cut so lightly across his face,
he would disarm your distrust,
carry you to his attractive gentleness
as he cloaks the stage about him
and then as the lights dim,
the audience edged on their seats,
your sheepish and sugar laced eyes
of curiosity linger at the heels of his lips,
as he slaughters your precious innocence,
with My words,
smile ever increasing
feasting on their fearful stares
my poem a muffled shotgun
at the back of the audiences head,
their tremoring bodies scream
as he constrains the straps constricting
their legs and limbs,
all the world’s a coroner’s table
he stoops so lovingly over them,
snow white raven of a boy,
his words of glinting blade dive,
their eyes a mess of soupy white and tangled red
surgical increments ripping their ribs and sternum wide,
they scream with blistered skin,
straps beginning to burrow and feast into their limbs,
the boy labors diligently,
effortlessly he worms his fingers about blood drenched organs
twists and plucks them free,
the victim’s body squirming,
skin wriggling,
as their eyes stare and gasp upon
their organs strewn next to them,
shock ripping through them,
crawling within their hollowed out body,
he laps up their gaping wound,
cut and carved from sternum to pelvis,
licking up blood soaked soul and kidney,
my demon of timid grin spills out the final phrases
his victims have long lost resilience,
they watch and lie as a mess of human,
half corpses on the table,
the audience a funeral procession,
the lights suffocated,
no one wishes to speak,
silence is the only reverie to my poems darkness
the boy or man,
demon or fiend
would softly grin
the audience just as cold and dead as him

I despise you cat
fluffed ball of bone and undying hatred
you scratch
you scrawl
you torture me so
cat of fatty bulk and inquisitive uncaring
you will suffocate beneath your girth
please cat roll away
if your lazy hiss choked you
I would be ever happy
you blob upon the floor
you the scourge of all mans happiness
I would slaughter
with that of a hatchet or cumbersome pillow
I would slaughter
you the scourge of all mans happiness
you blob upon the floor
I would be ever happy
if your lazy hiss choked you
please cat roll away
you will suffocate beneath your girth
cat of fatty bulk and inquisitive uncaring
you torture me so
you scrawl
you scratch
fluffed ball of bone and undying hatred
I despise you cat

My demons, the colossus of slaughter
and infantile undoing
are draped as a jagged carcass of a wreath,
of twisted and malignant ****** limbs,
upon my shoulders and stark throat
dripping stagnant
as a mangled bear of grizzled fur and barbed wire,
I heave this colossal mane
my sanctioned torturing ever heaven bearing,
legs biting tension, tibias finally cracking
I trudge, seethe and scourge with limbs
far rusted and burdened,
the girth of my weighing
wreath of clotted bone and blood,
mammoth corpse of whale and boorish bear,
hunker down about these broken hinged blades of shoulder,
godly cloak of human sin, and iron curtain
my siphoned lungs drain about the ground
dripping from the flesh of my lips,
spilling out as life,
I cough and purge all my mortal given organs
upon the belly of the Earth,
wreath of anchor chain and rotted animal bulk
bar and breach this shrapnel spine,
legs splintered,
no man might carry,
only a corpse could accept
the wearing weight of the worlds sins,
I forever stammer on

My heart stops beating as I open my eyes,
I expand my lungs to breathe and live
for a decade and two thirds
never feeling,
only believing the felt tip of feel,
then on days where the sun casts shadows
that stretch out claws for kilometers,
this chasm of a grave within a chest
extends out a hand to hold the wet handle of my umbrella.
My legs cease to moving,
my eyes still scrutinizing the sky,
no wrath blazing at the edge of the pupils,
only that of dusted gold washed about my eyelids,
the rain only falling,
ever dropping,
the sun smeared across murky sky.