Every time I light that bowl
The smoke fills each and every hole
I no longer feel the aches and pains
Large black clouds slowly stop their rain
I can now focus on me and you
Even your warm kisses and embraces too
I can imagine your face
Your lips, your eyes, your taste
I have moments to stop and think
I don't even have to blink
My mind slowly escapes to bliss
While my body sinks into the abyss
I write lyric after lyric on the wall
Forgetting my quicken fall
Ghosts of the pain and pleasure visit me on my descent
Believing the hands of the clock could be bent
Inhaling and exhaling is just the game
Everyone does it for the fame
The glory of being in the light
Just to be the one standing there fighting that fight
Maybe just once this will be the time
I need one more hit and I'll be fine

The edge of the smooth razor blade grazed my skin
With every small shudder  light scar would appear
I wanted to press it into my newly shaven leg
Then the important voice that screamed terrible thoughts would stop
The feeling of regret and sorrow would come to a quiet murmur
Silent screams of the past pain would come to a cease for a moment
Happiness that everyday people feel would finally come to me
How easy would it be to press the blade to in my unblemished skin
To use the slightest bit more pressure to create bliss... sweet bliss
My nails down to the stump would finally get  a break
Lighters and scorch marks just didn't cut it any longer
But can I really take the ***** looks from others when they see the scars
Or the tears welling up in my mother's eyes a she tell me hurting myself isn't the answer
Who care what anyone thinks it will make me feel better feel completely whole
Just when made my mind up a knock echo through the bathroom
"Boom, boom" my bleak thoughts dismiss through Jessica's nonsense
I drop my razor straighten myself up and try to pretend my thoughts aren't real
Realty is a funny thing the more the real world becomes the fantasy
The more life seems the trudge on :\