I am alive right now, right now I'm alive
But I'm feeling dark, yeah I'm feeling blind
Don't know what tomorrow brings, got a feeling I don't care
My thoughts are mine and they're so hard to share
You do not owe me anything but I am not yours to keep
I will lie still in silence and just continue to weep

I am not here, I have been lost
I have traveled far beyond this box
All the roads on the map
It doesn't matter now
The time passing by
It doesn't feel right now
And I am not this, I cannot see
I cannot breathe with it crushing me

There is a crack beneath where I stand, the length of my elbow to my hand
It leads to a hole inside of the ground
It whispers my name, forcing me to glance down
It grasps at my ankles, holding me still
I kick and fight it with all of my will
But I am fatigued, I have grown weak
I have begun to lose what I seek

I am not here, I have been lost
I have traveled far beyond this box
All the roads on the map
It doesn't matter now
The time passing by
It doesn't feel right now
And I am not this, I cannot see
I cannot breathe with it crushing me

I don't know where I'm going, sure I'll see you there
When I find me again a smile we can share
And you'll see how happy a sad heart can be
Yeah we will see how happy a sad heart can be

The sky is blue the earth a gray
It is neither night nor day
Frosted windows, cold crisp air
Fuzzy socks with morning hair
The ground is ice, the morning's light,
Peaks up gently from the night
Presents wrapped under the tree
Taunting, teasing, begging me
Warmth of family all around
Coffee brewing, happy sound
Wish for these things once again
Not the same without them

Fear, it grabs my wrist and pulls me down
Your day is green, mine's turned brown
I try to leave but I'm stuck in place
All alone in this little space
My thoughts, my mind are now quite dark
Not even a flicker or a spark
I'd rather be dreaming than awake
My emotions become a silent quake
You can't help me, nothing can
Not a pill, not a plan
Alone I have to climb this pit
Trudging, slipping, bit by bit

Feeling the sun burning the air
Driving around, wind in my hair
Eddie Vedder, love in our ears
As we've forgotten all our fears
Turn it up as we sing a long
In this moment nothing is wrong

Pull up in an empty space
Car is off as we turn to face
The ocean waves are strong today
But nothing like the will to stay

Peering down at least forty feet
My knees buckle as I'm feeling weak
Take a breathe and close my eyes
Look again to my surprise
Spring forward to feel the fall
Nothing around me nothing at all

Thinking my life is going to end
As my body quickly descends
The time in my head slowing down
As I can feel nothing around

Then a pressure surrounding me
My body is given to the sea
I surface to the suns bright light
And fight the waves with all my might
I crawl upon the salty rocks
I climb until I reach the top

I've overcome this plague of fear
These memories I will hold dear

The bright flash through the glass
A loud crash but it will pass

The walls form a familiar place
A peculiar look upon your face

I have been here once before
I have always wanted more

Shadows cast by an eery glow
The rain outside, a steady flow

A steamy cup of fresh brewed tea
How kind of you to offer me

The clock it ticks from time to time
Leaving behind thoughts sublime

As I speak my words to you
The voice I knew is caught a strew

My hands start to violently shake
A feeling so odd I cannot take

As I collapse beneath your feet
I catch you smile and give a wink

For I am dying this I know
grasp your hand before I go

Ask you why you poisoned me
Close my eyes and let it be

The air so cold and crisp
Everything silent except the wind
The ground fresh with a thick glisten
Frozen snowflakes constrict my view
As I peer out the window I can see
The lamp post lighting the tree
So beautiful a Michigan winter
So harsh and cruel but beautiful
How I long to see another Michigan winter.

There once was a man named Phan
Who lived in the hills of Ireland
He didn't see the Apple tree
Growing right beneath his feet
The apple tree grew so tall
That it was big and strong by fall
The man peered up at the tree
Then he fell onto his knees

The tree it spoke certain words
It told the man about the birds
The birds they were suffering
No songs the birds could even sing
The man he was so surprised
That he looked down with teary eyes
The songs that the birds would sing
Have been the joy, but the suns fading

Show us  light the tree told Phan
So the man devised a plan
He watched the birds fly all day
And he came back with something to say
The Apple tree was listening
As the man started to scream
The reason that the birds were sad
Because for years the man was mad