The sun is setting on the horizon of us
The dismal tides have crashed ashore
The bell has tolled it's final sound
This is a hurt so real I can feel it in my throat
My skin craves your touch
My soul aches for your embrace
And my mind wanders in search of you
Only to fall on deaf ears and empty pillows
The sheets have run cold
Your scent no longer lingers
My hands don't know what to do with themselves
The worst part of love isn't the initial heartbreak
It's the void left behind afterwards

Happiness is just a wet blanket I wrap myself up in at night
I think it'll make me warm at first. And it does.
But as the cold night draws forward it leaves me sopping and shivering.
Love is a lot like a wet blanket.
Except when it's not.
When her smile is like a fireplace that lights up the home in your heart.
Her heart.
It belongs to her now
Her kind of love was like a Sun in a vast sea of darkness where the tides of life rip everything to shreds and take everything away
Her love causes the galaxies in my veins to collide so fiercely my heart jumps out of my chest.
Her love
Was love
And nothing less

I'm afraid to blink
Because if I blink
I might miss one millionth of a millionth of a second
Admiring how beautiful you look
In the dull monotone light of my apartment bedroom

I don't know how you did it
But every single inch of this space
Our space
Feels like home

Every corner
Every carpet stain
Every wet spot because our dumb cat was an ***
That's something that still gets me
Our cat
Our own little family in this one bedroom
Before we set off to have our actual family
Every inch of the wall dedicated to art that we made together

Every picture hanging above the wall of us and you
It is home

I've realized that no matter where we go
Well be right at home
Because home is anywhere I go with you

I hate clichés
They take away from the authenticity of words
I could tell you I love you to the moon and back
But so what
So has everyone and their middle school lover
I could tell you I'd die for you
But there's a lot of people and things I would die for


One day I'll pull out a ring
Get on one knee
And tell you this
I'll live for yo

The place that I called home is no longer a home
This bed of mine is cold and unwelcoming
The sheets no longer hold your scent
All it holds now is the smell of cigarettes and regrets
Cold
empty
How can something
That was once so warm with love
Feel so derelict
The eye of the raging storm of regret is my heart
I long for the loving embrace you once gave me
I long for the love we once shared
Time used to not exist
And now
It's all I think about
The lost time I won't get to spend with you
But time doesn't exist
Not for the happy
Not for the loved

We are
two lovers
limbs tangled underneath a single sheet on a cold night
clinging to each other for warmth
we are two friends, tied together
but the red string of faith
in a loving embrace
I’ve started so many poems I don’t know how to finish
because I can’t find the right way to say I love you
but I have prayed to a god
I never believe existed until I met you
that he could give me the words to so eloquently tell you
just how much
you mean to me
I am no god fearing man
But I have prayed
that I get to wake up next to you every morning
that our children are a whole lot of you
mixed with a little bit of the person you love most
that we grow old together
that one day
we call four walls and a bed home

I'm going to bury the hatchet
But this time
Instead of putting it six feet under where it belongs
I allow myself to bury it in my own back
Again
For what seems like the millionth time
I've allowed myself mutually assured destruction
Like Hiroshima
Or the red scare
I systematically break down all the positives in my life
Everything that brings me joy
Everything worth living for
I destroy it all
Not with words
Or by actions
But by simple thought alone
This terror I cause myself is nothing new
In fact it's my closest friend
My worst enemy
My mother
My self
This anxiety
This panic
This restless nights and dreary days
Are what makes me who I am
I am nothing without it
And with it I am nothing
I am
Nothing

I sat at the corner of our street. It's funny the way things mean so much to us but nothing to others. It's strange, the metaphysical way you hold my face in your hands is something only we understand. Our street. We met here. We met again here. Sometimes I get coffee by myself at our coffee shop just to reminisce on that day. You were so beautiful. The way your hair perfectly frames your face. I always talked about your eyes. I found God in them, how could I not? The sky whispers your name to me on a daily basis. What did you think of me back then? I thought you were perfect. I think you are perfect. When I look at the sky I think of you. You love the sky and all its gradients. I imagine that when you look up at the sky you imagine limitless possibilities. Sometimes I think you might fly away. I always call you angel and I think it's appropriate. You're a beauty far too great to be of earthly descent. I look up at the sky and take another sip of the coffee. You always liked yours sweet. I look up at the sky and take another thought of you. I do that often. The funny way things mean so much to us but nothing to others. There's beauty in the closeness we share. There's beauty in everything about you. I look up at the sky one more time.