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 Apr 2014 derick gibbs
Elise
Sift
 Apr 2014 derick gibbs
Elise
I keep a jar in my corner of my head,
to the left
in which I keep all my fears
along with a couple unheard phone messages and some unused anger. Sometimes I'll go over just to look at them
sift
shuffle
turn over and over again
put them into boxes
take them back out of boxes
put them in other boxes
Most of them are silly really.
I fear either too much or too little,
But the jar completes the little room inside my head
so I keep it there.
I'll pull them out one by one.
I am afraid that when the sun comes again I will pale in comparison
I am afraid that I am not as much as you say I am
I am afraid after the winter you will no longer need me to keep you warm.
One day you'll see.
One day I'll be heard.
I'm gonna pick myself up
And I'm gon' dust off the hurt.
Its stained in my skin
But I've been through worse.
Every lie you told me
Was just layed out and unfurled.
You deserve a ******* medal.
Did you need to rehearse?
You took something so pure
And just made it perverse.
And just like Dre I was caught in a verse.
Or maybe caught your smile.
Or just caught in your words.
I should have known you were trouble
By the way that you slurred.
When you were sippin' that drink
And tryna feel on my skirt.
But you knew just what to say
To keep me from running away.
But now its getting too hard
To keep my emotions at bay.
You do me wrong once,
That's a shame in itself.
Do it again and again
Well now you're all by yourself.
And don't come to me
Looking for sympathy.
You put your own self in this situation.
See, I'm blunt as ****.
I'll tell you what's up.
And I get colder that the coldest
When I give no *****.
We could have had it all.
We always had enough.
But you let greed cloud your vision,
You let your pride destroy us.
I guess I've loved and I've lost.
But at the highest of costs.
Cause now the man next to me
Thinks he's the reason I'm scarred.
And I just tell him upfront
That in the morning he's gone.
Won't ever let him get close,
Won't let him break down my gaurd.
One day I'll be fine.
One day I won't be ignored.
This too shall pass.
Please be assured.
Keep your head up and stay strong,
You can endure.
One day all of this suffering will be over and cured.

— The End —