In this life, I'm leaving behind a legacy.
  
I'm not only leaving one behind, but I'm living it.
  
There is just one thing that I don't see.
  
I have been cursed with the gift of words, In silence.
  
My minds stimulated fiction and reality into violence.
  
What and why is to be remembered by me?
  
The simple complexities only matched by my creativity.
  
I feel like a set bomb, waiting to be let go.
  
I'm the worlds sonic boom, I'm the awakening.
  
Maybe all I need is my own awakening.
  
My legacy, full of thought and choices.
  
Never less the good or bad, they are my choices.
  
No one else to blame or give credit to, there's only me.
  
There's no hero to be the shadow below, I cast my own.
  
I live behind no one, and step above none.
  
I live as my own.
  
All to know, great or worst,
  
This is my Legacy

Terrified of getting to close again.
This part of me that holds love and sin.
Who would love someone who thinks he is no better than mediocre?
Cover it all up because no one knows the sadness of a joker.
Hard to believe in myself or what I can accomplish.
My lack of esteem had altered my point of view.
Confidence is only a show and even then it's
Hard to muster up.
I can't continue to live like this, punishing myself.
My thoughts are mine alone, known only by a few.
The thoughts eat at me from the inside out..I'm rotting
Hiding behind smiles and laughs to not explain the pain.
Still I hold onto this last shred of hope I posses.
In every night, darkest of nights, you can find a small light.
In hopes to get close so that I may shine bright.
Now I must change my mind, life, and my world.
In order to this I accept the dark truths.
It may not be today or soon but keep watching.once I build myself
Back up, I will rise above the rest.
No longer will I lay in the debris of a broken life.
I will put my life back together surely and timely.
I'm moving onward and no one shall stop me.
This joker is sad no more.

using writers block to an advantage
There’s restraint on the guide to this story.
The hand trembles to bring the pen to the paper.
This pen is usually the outside drifter trudging along the paper.
Today is not his day, for as he goes onward he is blocked.
The darkness strikes where the words usually appear.
How to bring himself out from this slump; he sits and ponders.
Wondering is it a slump, or a state of mind?
Could I stop this even if I tried?
What did I do to deserve?
What did I do to deserve that would take away my words?
The words that empty on to the notepad as a painters empty canvas.
Someone has stolen my words like that of a paintbrush.
No longer can I create a work of art.
No longer can I make the next wonder of the world.
When will I be able to create again?
I sit here thinking, wondering, and hoping that they will return like the lost dog.
The dog that always finds his way back; come back to me.
Come back to me my words so that I may once again be able to talk.
I am stuck in this hard place, I am blocked.
However will I set myself free; who will set me free?
To become unblocked is all I long for at the moment.
I desire to create with my words, unblocked, free as a hawk.

Another familiar night passes by as I sit by the open window.
My eyes overlooking the window pane, past the open glass.
Deep into the night I stare and ponder, far and wide my eyes scan.
They see only what the moonlight reveals, what will it reveal to me?
I've say and wondered about this life, this night seems stuck on repeat.
As I find myself here constantly, here in this sturdy old and creaky woodgrain chair.
Looking up I close my eyes and pray to any higher deity willing to help.
Quietly I let out my faint whispers, my words travel from mouth to midnight sky.
Hoping my prayers are heard, I sit awaiting for a sign...nothing..just a Howl from the wind.
I should know how it works by now, allow me to rephrase my cry for help.
Please whoever may hear me, I ask not that you do my work, but show me what my work is.
In a bright flash of burning white, as if God himself came into my waking dreams.
There in his words he showed me the entire scheme, " do as you will" he said to me.
This was the night I learned I wasn't worthless, I was meant for so much more.
Not for people to chant my fame or even fear the sounds of my name.
Slowly my core starts to boil, hope and passion rising, coursing through my blood.
I am here to be nothing short of great, and great is what I'll be.
To keep my blood line going, growing, and ever evolving.
Adapting is what I know, instinctive to the core, forever embedded inside of me.
Continuing to grow further more, adapting from mediocre to great.
I shall do what I must to keep pride inside my name.
Just like the indelible words of Poe, I'll never stop growing, "forever more"
For no one will stop me and take what's mine as their claim.
No power can stop the growth and evolution of my blood line.
Even long after I've left this world all will know of my generations to come.
Because just as he late great Bruce Lee said " live a life worth remembering. "
That is exactly what I'm doing "living a life worth remembering"
My legacy will be carried by future blood lines and they will flourish.
So always remember...

They say it takes twice as long to forget, and move on.
Well I'm only four months down, only half a decade left to go.
When we first met, in that split moment, I couldn't help but fall in love with you.
It happened so fast, just as did out end, so I just don't understand.
Why can't my mind and heart forget as fast as they fell for you?
To stay in this state of sorrow, regret, and self demise.
Will this all swiftly leave my memories from which they etched their marks.
I wish to just close my mind, and make the change in my life.
You took everything I had I give, and now you've left me empty handed.
All I want back from you is peace of mind.
The days of feeling wanted, holding you, and embracing is over now.
Past have gone the days of calling each other only mine.
I just want to forget, and move on from this stage in my life.
Most if all you need to take your heart back from me.
It pains me day after day because the truth remains
The constant truth in this suffering is that still.. I love you.
My heart aches, it just won't let you go as you have of me, what do I do?
Can't begin to fathom things these days anymore.
Your love was so indelible to me.
Now I suppose I just wait for that last grain of sand to drop.
Waiting for the clock to run out, tick-tock, tick-tock.
I'm four months down, only half a decade left to go.

How could you do this to me?
Why did you lead me on for long?
You were a master magician, had me tricked.
Set up this whole stage, this giant illusion of love and faithfulness.
Ever the puppeteer you were, I was just your doll.
Jumped at every reflex of your finger as you pulled the strings.
Dangling by the threads of lies, I hang lifeless.
Thought we were great, but you broke this fate.
My life was well, you made it happen and laughed at your work as I fell.
I was wrong to fall for you, you were my sweetness.
But now you're just sour.
The complexity of your game is large and thorough.
It is now time to down size that and beat your game.
No longer am I your lifeless puppet.
I've cut myself free from your handle, jumped down.
Now I am my own, no strings, or lies I am free.
I saw how you operate, I won't be tricked again.
Free is what I am, you missed out not my loss.
What I was is troubled, confused, and perhaps difficult.
Yet still always I remained true, real, and faithful.
I thought we had a great deal but you broke it with lies and unfaithfulness.
Now I'll continue to my life as will you
I am free of you, and that was my cue.
Never will I ever look back to you.

I would love nothing more than to hold you once again.
  
In my arms there is no better feeling.
  
Oh how it feels to have your hand in mine.
  
How I love the sound of your sweet, sweet voice.
  
I love the way you say my name when you speak of our love.
  
How you talk with such genuine passion.
  
The way you look into my eyes, I can see.
  
I can see your love for me.
  
Like a kid on Christmas waiting for that last gift.
  
Waiting to unwrap and see the treasures inside.
  
The eyes filled with anticipation and joy.
  
The joyous laugh you share with me.
  
Oh how I can not ignore it.
  
She makes me shed a laugh of my own.
  
I bare a smile every time we share a glance.
  
There’s so much to say, so much to do.
  
But there is nothing more that I’d rather do than sit with you.
  
Sit with you and let the fire burn.
  
The fire we hold inside of us, the flame that keeps up together.
  
The flame of love, oh how I adore you.
  
Babies just know I love you so much.
  
We just have to let the fire burn.

Up above the sky so high..you fly
Guarding my heart from anyone else
When will you fall into my arms
You're the one I want to embrace
Angel your the one I love so much
Yes girl, its that forever kind
With the brown eyes so sweet on me
The beauty reminding me of the night sky
The sky you soar with elegance
Like a shooting star you shine with glory
Your love pouring out like rain
The wind that blows are your words of grace
Again baby the love I have for you, is that forever kind
Watching you soar so high in the sky,
Knowing I have my own angel to watch over me
To be by my side when im in need
Girl your my angel, longing to hold you
Hoping to ground you....to me.
Your sweetness is un-parallel
Kindness that show is so humbling
Everything you are, is what I need in my life
I need that angel on my shoulder
But you never leave it, always there
I cant describe much for an angel who knows it all
But when i lay down at night
Looking up at the sky and stars
Know that I love you..angel

Is there a place where the heart aches at the thought of us apart?
  
There was a day where love burned passion afloat.
  
Now that day has turned to darkened night.
  
Blasting those golden dreams that once where to shadows.
  
The heart has grown a hole that you can’t replace; even with greatest of efforts.
  
That part no longer exists; without you the mind is at calm.
  
Where that hole grows it fills with pleasure of thought of a new piece to fill.
  
A new life to grow into it allows for peace to finally be bestowed upon me.
  
The heart ached with the pain of the resentment you filled it with.
  
The pain clawing from the inside out, slowly it came unnoticed.
  
Finally it could take it no longer, and now smiles with the emptiness that remains.
  
Who knew a heart could take pleasure in absence.
  
You’re without; I’m without and could not take any more pleasure with it.
  
This heart will not grow fond, nor ache without your presence.
  
There is not a place or time where this heart will feel pain.
  
You do not know this heart anymore; thoughts remain if you ever had.

I lay here on the ground with eyes closed.

Counting every blessing in my life; appreciating all the small things I’m allowed to have.

Feeling the breeze pass through the fresh cut grass and crease across my skin.

Enjoying the cool fresh air I breathe, the breath of life.

Opening my eyes I see above me the hanging leaves of the willow tree.

Seeing just how green green can be in this life.

They say green is the color of greed; but here it shows just how much life lives.

With the green cut grass, the hanging leaves, rooting into the ground.

******* up all the water into its roots, flowing life through itself.

I can feel the life all around me, living its course.

I sit up and look out off the cliff, to what do my eyes behold?

They look upon the edge of the cliff with flowing water of the sea below.

The sun’s rays gleaming down, reflecting the sapphire glow of the river.

Listening to the birds chirp, with the crashing waves on the shoreline below.

A time like this comes by once in a life time, and you must take time to appreciate.

Appreciate the complete peace in this moment; living in the moment today.

Today is all about taking a memory of the century.

One of those memories that leaves a legacy inside of you.

A time that when you think back to when you could be truly happy, this is what you see.

Time by yourself, so released and free from care.

To be carefree even if it’s just in this moment, a moment that lasts a second to a life time.

This is the truth, this is the memory of a lifetime.

The memory of memories, how sweet it is.

Take a deep breath and breathe it in, allow it to flow through your entire being.

Something so divine like this is from a deity.

This is nothing compared to the spectrum of time but a moment, a second.

This second will last a life time inside of your mind and inside of your heart.

For a time no one can take from you, it only fades with your life.
When will your life…your memory fade?