You broke the flower, killed the bud.
You drowned my house among the flood.
You stole the glimpse I held inside,
When all at once I'd known you'd lied.

Much like a fool, I hold these dreams
That your return will stem these screams.
So tarry not, for I still seek
To stop these pangs that make me weak.

Though part of me can surely see
That this heartbreak means naught to thee,
Exist does not the force to quell
My wish to soon escape this hell.

The war that wages in my soul
Has wrought the deepest of all holes.
A crater's size would pale when seen
Adjacent to this wreck of being.

You've done more than efface my trust.
My strength of love could quell all lust.
Why, in your leaving did you force
My tender care to veil remorse?

It's true I hate what you've become.
You've turned lush forests into slums.
Yet still I can't placate and soothe
My unchecked will to still love you.

It's true, I always will, my dear.
However far away, I fear.
What scares me most about the cure?
I won't get better. This is sure.

I'll never satiate this thirst.
I wish you knew how bad this hurts.
I need your touch to which I'll wake.
Those better days, I cannot shake.

I'm done pretending, hate to lie.
I'm through with watching time go by.
Please do return to who you were.
No longer will I stand this blur.

That's all my life is at the present.
Please clarity, soak this lament.
I'm never getting over you,
And I don't want to. Sad, but true.

I want my life, return it now.
Why can't you hold onto the vow?
You promised you would never leave,
But here I am, and still I grieve.

This pain could ******* everything.
Of hardship, truly, I am king.
I'm sick of this, I'm through with hurt.
No longer shall blood soak my shirt.

My heart it pumps the poison lasting.
No longer shall I go on asking.
End this now, or i shall cease.
I can't endure your ruthless lease.

Release my heart from this ****** cage.
For now this pain turns into rage.
I wish for you to feel this pain
That time has not begun to wane.

If only briefly, you could feel
This unchecked hurt that pierces steel,
You'd know your fault, admit your flaws.
You'd cry. You'd suffer. You're the cause.

I always knew this wouldn't end.
If only love and hate could mend
Their savage ways, for both persist
To stake their claims and coexist

Within my body, no escape.
I see no roads beyond the gate.
I'm trapped inside my love for you.
Ironic, yes? Alas, it's true.

My dearest love, t'were this not so,
You'd feel the force of my heart's glow.
Forever wrapped within warm ardor.
'Tis sad that this is so much harder.

I loved you then. I love you now,
But pain is all I can allow.
My tears can't mask what's happened here.
I hate this, always, but I love you dear.

Beauty is the beating heart,
Love's first kiss, or sad depart.
A glimpse unto the soul within,
At our life's yearning to begin.

Beauty is your hand in mine,
Arm in arm, our love divine.
The laugh that forms behind the grin,
When tickling toes or nibbling chins.

Beauty is the way you touch,
The joy within that seems too much.
Forming words your heart beats true,
Beauty is my love for you.

I wish to now express to you
This feeling that my heart speaks true.
What's happened here is just and right,
Bestowing herculean might.
It seems but yesterday I saw
A beauty that left me in awe.
Like moth to flame I moved to see
And quell my curiosity.
I wish that you could know that joy
And hopes that I did then employ.
As they unfolded like a dream,
I could do naught but gaze and beam.
My smile never left my face,
And though I'd known my heart to race,
I let you know that though It'd run
This was the first time that It'd won.
And It was then I fell for you.
It felt too good that you did too.
But gracefully you swept me up.
My unkempt joy spilled from my cup.
From here we seemed to grow so fast,
All timid fear left in the past.
And you became a part of me,
A light that always brings me glee.
It seems I've known you all this time,
Though without reason, without rhyme.
I don't care that it makes no sense.
I'll fight against all false pretense.
For you're the sun that climbs and falls.
You're the voice that always calls
When I'm in need and cannot sleep.
This ambient fervor reaches deep.
You're so much more than my best friend,
Because together we transcend
Whatever problems we might face,
And still remain here in this space
That we have fought to call our own.
I'm proud to say this is my home.
Wherever you are, there I'll be,
And all shall now be called to see
It's in my heart that you reside.
Forever will you there abide.
I wish that words could mean much more.
To strength of writing I implore.
I wish for you to know this state.
I'm so sure now this is our fate.
Analogies don't quite assume
The roles I want them to presume.
It looks as if it's come to this.
I'm sorry if I seem remiss.
I cannot find another way
To speak what my heart begs to say.
So here it is, laid bare to see,
With all the strength inside of me.
Sweetheart, I love you. Always, true.
There's nothing I won't do for you.
For I would face the worst of life.
I'd tackle any fearful strife
If in the end, it meant you're here
For me to claim and hold me near.
Your warmth does things I can't relate.
No way could I articulate
My love for you, Its strength or will.
Even in death, I'll remain still,
Eternally yours, I'll always know;
Darling, I love you, unequivocally so.

to say that i am fed up now
would be a gross distortion.
blithe ignorance, i can't allow
to grow in same proportion
as thoughts that now let peons hold
onto bold misconceptions
that they alone do know this world
through cliche-formed perceptions.

take heed, blind fool, raise up thy head
and know the truth unknowing.
in lieu of fables, you'll instead
give seed to thoughts through sowing.
saddle up, then. take this ride
into the fields of fortune
where wealth is found to be inside
one's own mind's doled self portion.

if you shall find that you've not found
conceptions worth protecting
the cursory heart to own you're bound
since base you keep rejecting.
i'd liken you to one that's blind
t'were that not false relating.
at least the sightless seem to find
true art through innovating.

this path you've wound has been well formed
by all who've passed before you
the world beyond appears malformed
try harder now, eschew
all prior trends that formed this square
high time you shall contend.
ambivalence should you beware
now know, and don't pretend.

what's it like when all forget you?
how does it feel when the world just quits too?
they fell in line and left me stranded.
forsaking friendship to become branded.
society says, 'congrats. you're normal.'
to me? less kind. 'you're far too formal.'
slow change, it seems, can't hurt enough,
for friends must then forsake your trust.

dear sir, you're kind, i'll give you that,
but good sense spots my shameful acts.
so sadly i must now suspend
this bond you've known. now this portends...
we know through life you've suffered greatly
we also see that hurt known lately.
she broke your heart, we all know that.
just quit your tears. she won't come back.
assure you now, i surely must.
that karma shall prove to be just.

we don't quite care that you're left out.
deny, we will, without a doubt.
see? we're still here. semblance of care.
it's strange how you are not aware
for false support and apathy
are truly acts to help you see
that we've in no way cast away
the friend you still are, day by day.

it's in response i wish to tell
you cheats and fiends of wanton hell.

so now attend. you'll hear this voice
it's time i've left you all no choice.
before i'm gone you'll know the truth.
that you were far beyond uncouth.
your forged endeavors fooled me not.
i won't forget that you forgot
all that i've done for all of you.
but, foolish, still, i stand quite true.
despite this pain that you all caused,
it's not as though my throes just paused.
there, in my time of greatest need.
i meant it when i knelt to plead.
i'm strong enough to fend of much,
and this you know, and so, as such
why can't you see that when i tried
to reach for hands when mine were tied
that surely then, in dire straits
i was, for sure, no pride abates
in simple scenes where i could hold
my head aloft, and remain bold.
i needed you. i couldn't see.
my vengeful fear had blinded me.
my love for her had left a curse
i couldn't shake, dispell, disperse.
i doubt that you shall ever know
of hurt that could consume quite so.
a scalding burn that transcends each
of prior wounds; pain you shan't reach.
up to this point, since i was born
i've struggled, fought, withstood the storms
not as a bridge that needs support
but as the the ship that sees no port.
i waged war with the reckless sea
of life-dealt pain and misery
alone i dealt with constant bathos.
fears born of stable crushing loss.
she left me shattered, nothing less
a beaten, battered, ****** mess.
i felt that i should quit this game.
who was i fooling? death was tame
compared with such a crushing blow.
how could I cope? i didn't know.
for reasons still unknown to me
i held onto complacency
which is to say i've not a word
that fits to shape that form absurd.
a huddled mass of spiteful spleen.
how cruel to force my heart to wean.
i needed love to quell that force.
divert my torture. stem the source.
i thought that what i'd done to try
to be the friend that never lied.
that stayed beside you, resolute
would pay off now, here on this route.
that sounds much worse than i would like.
but friends are friends, and friends alike.
i love you all, and i just hoped
for you to help me as i coped.
it seems that asking this was wrong
as i was left to sing this song
to empty seats in empty rooms
true solo, this. my heart assumes.

My journey through the forlorn miles,
The one's compelled by hated trials,
Brought me to a place once seen
Not long ago, before serene.
That bygone voyage still was made
As my attempt to then evade
The eyes of those who didn't care
Resulted in my worst despair.
The floor beneath me just gave way.
I fell so swiftly through the days.
The blur resulting from the fall
Did never quite consume the gall.
For vexed was I, beyond belief.
So there I lay, consumed with grief.
We'd had enough, I had to go
Back to the home that I did know.
For there at least, I'd hoped to find
Some solace and a peace of mind.
For here at least were those I knew,
The friends I'd had to bid adieu.
But no, instead, the blows still rained
With tidal force, its strength sustained.
The ones upon whom I had counted
Left me to be, til I'd surmounted
All the pains that life had dealt,
Once more alone, though I had knelt.
I'd pleaded, begged, asked for support.
But in the end, I came up short.
So to this day, I deal with this
A single man, lost in the mist.
The home that I had always known
Now held no hope for one so prone
To agony that needs the aid
Of all who'd once assured they'd stayed.
The other roots that'd found their way
Into my life were here to stay,
And it was these that once more made
Me come back here, where I'd decayed.
As life began to start anew,
My false elation never grew.
Instead it soon assumed its role
That I'd disguised, had covered whole.
Now once again, it grew unkempt
The letdowns I'd held in contempt.
I wanted just to fall in love.
On me, it fits much like a glove.
I simply feel that I am here
To show the one whom I revere
Just how much my soul puts out.
'Twere love a voice, this heart would shout.
And finally, I caught a break.
For here she was, just for my sake.
She held the values I loved most.
And not once did she ever boast
Of this, an overwhelming trait
The one that carries awesome weight.
Her beauty hit with shock and awe.
Such purity, so rich, so raw.
In seconds I'd felt drawn to her,
Excitement clouding my need to err
On sides of caution, lest I return
To my cold hell, where I would burn.
As soon I grew to know this girl,
Anticipation made me whirl.
We were too surely much alike.
My sadness briefly, went on strike.
But here, once more, too soon again,
I'd come too late, her heart, the wren
Had flown away before I'd come
So back I am to feeling numb.
I will keep fighting, this I see
As I've not lost my will to be
One half of what I hope to form
Soon after I survive the storm.
So push me, pull me, break me down
You'll never force this heart to drown.
I will prevail. I will succeed.
I'll find that love, so now take heed.
Forbidden fruit, though surely sweet
Will never tempt me, wicked treat.
I'll do this right, and find the one.
I've not ended, but begun.

True, best laid plans shall go awry.
Now, sadly, this I've found.
Cheap lies that make the bold heart cry
Make same hearts seek new ground.

Exceptions, though, exist there do
That challenge such a rule.
Cheap metronome my chest holds to
Is proof, the stubborn mule.

The space between my ears cries stop!
We shall not bear such weight.
This ruined mass won't be your prop,
We shan't stay in this state.

To eyes it cries, affix elsewhere.
Out of mind if out of sight.
Then this reply: Yes, we do care,
But can't see through this night.

The fiend that feeds the warmth to all
Has clouded all we know.
Now we have ceased thanks to this gall.
There's nothing left to show.

Alas, it spirals yet more deep
As systems halt and cease.
This wretched force persists to seep,
Its grip I can't release.

My shell and all but blackened core
Evade this awful dread.
The visceral cries I hear no more
As screams are all I'm fed.

The limbs upon the trunk can't live
Unless the ground is lush.
For if the roots can no more give,
The tree falls to the brush.

This heart, my fallen sylvan soul
Is now the fuel for others.
Uncaring lives that dig the hole
Now feed on fallen brothers.

It's company that sadness seeks.
This, others push away.
Unknowingly, their apathy speaks.
Exacerbate: decay.

So though all but what I protect
Still plead for refuge soon,
Its hold upon me won't forget
The love I still exhume.

As time tries to inter this need
That most seem wont to shun,
I still embrace full life's first seed
For that's how I begun.

Forget me not, the love does cry.
My heart replies, I shan't.
Though all within plead still to fly,
Dismiss this hurt, I can't.

So long as though I have control,
We shall still bear this hurt.
For giving up on love so whole
Would cause life to revert.

So though the pain from her deceit
Relents not, to this day,
Forever hold her here complete,
I shall, she's here to stay.