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Her tongue gets me hard
And then shatters me
You pay for it everday.
No matter what you do now.
No matter how much you've changed
And in your heart, you know you've changed.
No one from your past, especially the ones you loved,
The ones you hurt, and the ones you loved to hurt repeatedly.
No one will ever see you for who you know you have become, no,
People only know and see the past, your whole hamper of ***** laundry.

They only render you with a nostalgia of disgust and pity
And tell everyone who mentions your name
About the things you did, the actions for which you repent.
The price you pay everyday for the person of yesterday.

The one who paled with every drug
Cannot repay.
The one who speaks can only shrug
And pray

For another day to wash away
The grime that's left and always stays.
The one who walks in public stained
Will wince and pay for another day.
Twelve hours to focus
And redefine one's abilities
To chew one's toungue and cheek
To bounce one's knee
There will be no sleeping
Because sleep has become obsolete
An outdated human ritual
Just begging to be cleansed

Twelve hours to come down
To rediscover one's limitations
To nurse one's swollen tounge and cheek
And to rest one's aching body
There will be no sleeping
Because sleep is never an option
An incessant dream
Just begging to begin
Face-up with a wood shard through my stomach
I won't be hungry again
I guess there always is a positive light
Fluids seep out of me
Toxins squirm their way out
From their inhospitable new home
One that will suffocate them

Dreams implode in me
Fantasy at the hand of reality
With his superior firepower
Aimed elegantly and accurately

Sleep aerates the field within me
Dreams rise again, poisons come back in
Slitting my throat again
Licking it off my chin

Spare nothing
A commodity worth everything
So lucky
Chased him from his mettalic lair
Consumed him one and all
Felt him rush to ends of hair
But in the end I lost
You approach her tentatively
And the wispy sky darkens
But it is not an agent of detterment
Your cold skin meets her warm
And all is gone
But a false premonition
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