Minutes before the third of 3 doors mistakenly slam
In your haste to beat the flush & morning dump
Of gargantuan gas guzzlers, of violent tsk-ing,
You ripped salt sweet sated lips from my face
Left me raw meat, and a virginal distance
With which to kiss the world today

Try as I might in exclusive effort
To fillet meagre fat from a skeletal day
I can only fix a gutter dweller conscience
On the wounds that you have deftly dealt me
The blows I've used to break in your newest body
And I wonder, can I resign from all but your later touch

What mighty importance
rests so fat on the shoulders of you

that i'm refused
the right to lay love where I want it grown?

Bonds can loosen
Loads you've carried furthest can be shared

I know Trust is earned
but it's Earnest too, when I demonstrate it purely,

Laying all my bones
at all your doors as promises and gifts

I'll even renew - if you want -
That honest vow to remember all your birthdays

to Topple on your soul
If you need the weight of someone not you.

Can we be side by side
In a blurred rush towards the singularity?

or Am I the ***
you lead to water - am I the water itself?

Don't let me place-hold
or keep the seat warm for overdue truths

There's no need
to balance each other's acts of self sabotage

Or to pretend
Either of us is any more than what we are

We both understand
That grace is to us just brightly coloured feathers.

Please let us be safe
Together, in that disappointing mess

And let me work
on Those snags of control and owning and having

Because I don't remember
how you became confection behind a window

What made me
Treat you as the best since...sliced boys

but My diet did change
I didn't want to spoil you for lesser bread

and Now a hunger
and rot collide in the vacant spaces you're yielding.

Is it an upset
to cry at your objection to my care

Or when I kick
and scream at the labels you stick to me

When you call me
callous Hysterical and paranoid to preoccupation

Incurring open fire
and pointed barbs about your ***** Mother

Who ruined you for women, love
You, who will only ever be half aware of this and that.

I'll go willingly though
on display, to be mocked in silent penance

For What else next
but to try to hold you to me

To try to sit as still
As time and light do for me when you move in my direction

and Be as hard
as your endorsement makes me.

But for all the noise
Of our collapsing walls and siege machinery

The poison
that may never fully be drawn.

You are here.
I am here.
What else are we gonna do.

pretend a little longer
in between shutter fire
and gradated grin,
that our lenses haven’t murdered

i've lost a thousand people
disappeared under gaze weight
of coarse rope bindings
bouncing off reflective walls

that are tortuous to the camera shy
where are they now
and why haven't we seen them
in such a very long time?
ever since we exposed the reluctant

they are beating their heads
in celluloid blocks
on reels and reels and reels
of mandatory participation

no longer allowed options
details only apparent to living selves,
the right to remain invisible
and pathetic, off the record