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My heart aches every time I think of you
Because not knowing whether you will still want me tomorrow
Gives me the worst heartache I've ever felt.
And it's crazy to think I'm so infatuated with you
When I barely even know you.

I remember the day I ran after you
To comfort you in the cold dark shadows
And I think it all started then.
I fell in love with the idea of you
And I haven't let it go since.

I'm begging to feel your lips against mine once more
And the touch of your hand on my leg, the twine of our fingertips.
I long for the look you give me
When you think I'm not watching.

I want to press against the space between us until it disappears.
*And never let go...
Feb 2015 · 769
Constellations
It's nights like these
When I find myself
Drawing the constellations in my wrists.

I feel a filth in my bones
As I try to scrub clean
The dirt and the lies within me
And when the sky gets dark,
So do my thoughts.

I cannot mend my broken heart
Because it keeps cutting my hands
Trying to glue it back together.

As I count the stars in the galaxy that
Make up my wrists
I take a sip from the Devil's cup
And hope he spares me my soul.
Sep 2014 · 551
Insane
Am I going crazy?
I think I am
All of these thoughts are itching at my brain
Trying to crawl out
They come out in my dreams
And feel so real
I try to scream
But my voice is lost
And I cannot breathe
I feel my heart trying to escape out of my chest
I want the silence to take over my body
But all I can hear is your voice screaming in my head
Look at me
I'm sorry
I just can't believe
What you've done to me
I can never be free
From these thoughts that are taking over me
Aug 2014 · 855
Hypocrite
I ****** up
And I'm sorry
But I thought you'd understand
How wrong I was,
Instead you took the knife that was already stabbing me
And twisted it deeper into my chest

I now feel the pain you asked me to endure
And I'm not sure I can forgive myself
For what I've done to you
But I also can't forgive you
May 2014 · 2.3k
Miss MaryJane
The sweet, sweet MaryJane
It takes me back
To a time when you and I were infinite
Floating on the clouds
In the distant summer paradise
Apr 2014 · 880
I Think I Fell in Love
Last night is constantly on repeat:
You kissed me when you left
Like you would for the rest of your life
And I think I fell in love
With the way you bit my lip
And grasped my neck as you kissed me
I clenched your back as hard as I could
Because I didn't want to let you go
Since the thought of you not being near
Made me  feel sick to my stomach
And I think I fell in love
With how you poured me shot after shot
As we downed the whole bottle of ***
And the sway of our hips together on the dance floor
Felt like we were one
Maybe I didn't say goodbye because
I was scared of never seeing you again
And now I'm here in this bed all alone
Feeling the loneliest I've ever felt
Because all I want is to relive that night over and over again
Feb 2014 · 1.0k
Just One More Time
You the manipulator,
How stupid was I
To believe the lies you told me
Telling me you love me,
That I am the one
And you haven't told anyone this before,
Making me feel special,
Telling me it's okay, just one more time,
It's okay I won't tell anyone,
Just the tip, please, one more ****.
Why I didn't walk out of that room,
I ask myself everyday.
I wasn't as strong as I am now,
I was young and naive.
Naive of what you were telling me
And the actions you were making,
Putting my hands where you wanted them
And saying it's okay
When your dad was sitting right there.
But you never returned the favor, did you?
How stupid was I to believe your lies and let you manipulate me
To make me believe I wanted to do the things you were making me do,
To make me think I was acting out of love,
But look at you, selfish you,
I see through you now.
How you've done this to thousands of girls
And they fall for it every time.
They fall for your looks and your charm,
But little do they know,
You're a disgusting excuse for a man,
Manipulating girls for ***
And making them believe you love them.
Look at you,
Selfish and manipulative you,
And I am finally seeing it.
And that's when I look into
Your heart filled with despair
That I can't quite grasp the words
Coming from your mouth
Telling me you love me,
But the truth is you hate me
And I can tell when you **** me
How you leave bruises and bite marks on my body
But I'm sadistic that way,
I'm addicted to this pain you cause me
That I can't even breathe when I look at you
And the thing that kills me the most is I still love you,
I can tell when I taste your lips sweet as wine
And when my hands shake as I reach for your buckle
I can feel it in my body when you finish
And I know you feel it too,
But there is no way to mend
These cuts and bruises of our souls
But I will still pray for you
Nov 2013 · 1.2k
Dream Box
You said I was your favorite taste
Of cigarettes and whiskey
So I'm begging you to kiss me gently
Because I'm longing to kiss your velvet lips
And feel your breath against my neck
I want to taste the venom on your lips and the poison on your tongue
So lay me down
Like you do in my dreams
And rest your hands on my legs
Until your fingernails are cutting into me making me bleed
And when I look into your eyes filled with pools of shadow
I question if you're a blessing or a curse
And then I ask you again,
Take my body
And make my wild weird dreams come true
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
Sinking
I'm sinking
As I stand here
Letting the waves engulf me.
Oct 2013 · 1.6k
Explore Me
I want you to explore me
And find my untold scars
My beauty marks,
My cuts and bruises

I want you to explore me
And find my secret sadness
Lurking in my eyes,
Under my broken smile

I want you to explore me
And find my hidden secrets,
My sadistic thoughts
That I haven't told a soul

*I want you to explore me
Oct 2013 · 1.1k
1:54am
It's 1:54
And I've heard it all before
So spare me your sob story
And tell me it's just cause you're *****-
Oct 2013 · 648
Collide
You and I are like
The way the waves collide
The way you crash into me
Just when I'm at my highest point
*I fade away
Oct 2013 · 734
Fall in Love
Fall in love with my flaws, my imperfections
Fall in love with my scars, my freckles
Fall in love with my stories, my weirdness
And fall in love with my laugh,
My smile, my eyes,
And the way I say goodbye
Oct 2013 · 2.8k
Cryptic Sky
I want to stand in the middle of a thunder storm
With you in the pouring rain
Looking into the cryptic sky
Feeling the rain run down our face
The thunder in our chest,
The zap of lightning in our fingertips
The rush of adrenaline,
Oh this is what I live for
Oct 2013 · 708
Fucked in the Head
I'm ****** in the head
Cause my only release is in bed
Does that make me a *****
If I **** my neighbor next door
You see I've kissed lots of guys
Only cause they've crossed my eyes
And I fall in love with the way
They always walk away
So I proceed to get high
And stare at the sky
Sep 2013 · 640
Something Beyond
I could sit here
And stare at the ocean forever
The vast blue openness
That goes on for miles
With no piece of land in sight,
How peaceful it is
To watch the waves crash
On the sandy shore,
The sand I wiggle between my toes
As I sit here pondering life
And wondering what else is out there
In this world
Sep 2013 · 779
Silence
Give me the words I cannot say
Because this silence has never been so *loud
Sep 2013 · 612
Bitter
I'm bitter about love
Not because I lost my love,
But because I've never loved.
Sep 2013 · 729
Love/Lust
You say you want me
You say you love me
But do you know the difference
Between love and lust?

If you loved me
You wouldn't leave me
To drown in my sorrows
And you wouldn't treat me
Like just another girl on your list.

But you don't love me, do you?
Because you do only when it's
Convenient for you.

But it's okay,
Because I don't love you either,
Not anymore.

Now I do it for the thrill
And I do it for lust
So does that make me a *****?

And when you come crawling back,
Begging for more
I'll give you a little taste of my medicine
And see how you like it.
Aug 2013 · 1.7k
Temptation
It's the way you look at me
The way your eyes examine my body
Memorizing my every curve,
And the way you give me that charming smile
Like you know exactly what I'm thinking,
It's the sweet sound of your voice
That leaves me breathless every time I hear it,
And it's the alluring scent that invites me in,
The scent that makes me want you even more
It's the temptation of having you,
And that temptation is what kills me
Aug 2013 · 768
Dreamer
I like to get lost in my dreams
To escape reality
To live in my other world
Where I can create my own beautiful and wild life
Because sometimes,
Dreams really are better than reality
Aug 2013 · 742
Drunk Off You
***** traveling down my throat
With that burning sensation
That makes me hate it
But keeps me begging for more,
It's not for the taste
But the feeling of being calm and crazy
At the same time
And how the alcohol overtakes my body
Leaving me with spins of happiness
With no pains or worries
And the beautiful emptiness of my mind
Oh how I want to be drunk off you forever
Aug 2013 · 687
Straight to the Point
I barely knew you
As you grabbed my hand
Holding on tightly
Like you never wanted to let go
The way you swiftly tilted up my chin
And kissed me so gently and so passionately
Getting straight to the point
Like you'd been doing it your whole life
Aug 2013 · 2.4k
Toxic
You are toxic
You are the poison running through my veins
Suffocating my every breath
You are my poison ivy
Itching with every step I take
You are the beautiful purple foxgloves
Appearing so gentle on the outside
But so dangerous on the inside
You are the chemicals that react
And make my life a living hell
You are toxic to the touch
And you know I cannot help
But to crave this pain you cause me
Aug 2013 · 918
Whiskey Lips
We sat across from each other
Both knowing what we wanted

You drinking champagne
And I drinking whiskey,
Burning like fire traveling down my throat

Drunkness overtook us
And you knew how badly I wanted you
Just like you wanted me

You whispered in my ear and kissed my neck
I turned to you and kissed your soft lips
The taste of champagne on my whiskey lips tasted so sweet
Every night I relive it in my dreams
Aug 2013 · 1.4k
Behind Those Daring Eyes
The way you stroll by makes me wish you were mine
How I love that smirk you give when you see me watching
Like you know I'm head over heels for you
I wish I knew what was lurking behind those daring eyes of yours
What was behind that seducting smile
Wondering if you want me as much as I want you
Aug 2013 · 666
Wanderer
You wander through my mind
Like a lost memory in time
You come and go
And sometimes say hello
But you never stay

I think of you often
About the good times and the bad
And wish you weren't just a memory
But instead my present, my future

I think of the times we had
When I was yours and you were mine
The way your eyes would pierce through me
And how your touch made me crazy
Your kiss left me breathless
You treated me like a princess
But soon left me to drown
All alone with no prince to save me

But you are only a memory
Reminding me of what you did to me
But making me want you even more
Wandering through my mind like you always do
Aug 2013 · 611
I Could Get Lost
I could get lost in your eyes
That majestic blue
That sparkles like the ocean
The waves rolling in on the shore
Of your sandy eyelids
How I want to get lost in your oceanic eyes forever
Aug 2013 · 3.3k
Curiosity
A terrible mistake
I cannot take back
Under the influence
Dizzy and confused

Why did I listen to you
I had to change my terrible ways
But you talked me into it
Like you always do

Maybe a part of me wanted it
Just for the thrill of it
Out of curiosity
But curiosity is what lead us here
It's what lead us to this very moment
Aug 2013 · 732
This Moment
When I think of summer time I think of you
I think of the way you grasped my leg
How your touch was electric
I still dream of the way your lips on mine gave me butterflies
How it knocked the breath right out of me
I felt like I waited for this moment my entire life
Aug 2013 · 682
A Beautiful Sin
There's something about the way
You look at me
Eyes traveling up and down my body.
Taking in every scar wrinkle and freckle
Like you had to memorize my every crevice.
Your eyes how they sparkled
And I knew in that moment
This was a sin,
Oh how I love to sin with you.
The way you whispered in my ear
It sent shivers down my body
And how you bit my lip
It took the air right out of my lungs
I whispered
"Bite me again."
Oh how your bite was like venom
Rushing through my body, how it burned
But I find myself wishing I was reliving it with every breath I take.
Now I need to change my sinful ways
And the only thing that will bring me back to you is
The sweet sweet smell of summertime.

— The End —