ive had numerous series of unfortunate events that i am both grateful and puzzled on why they would ever happen to me, having done nothing wrong in any type of purposeful way. out of all the unfortunate events that have occurred and me being the star of them one particular one stands out because i am well aware of the fact i am not the only one who has faced them, thank god. heartbreak. the word that comes to mind when the letters of that word dance around in my mind is; inevitable. ive had my fair share of heartbreaks. like the time the boy with light eyes and a cigarette in his left hand told me he loved me just for one night and never talked to me again. and like the time my mom told me my aunt was dying because one cell decided it wasn't going to follow the rules and created a war in my aunts once beautiful body that is now decaying and all i can do is stand and watch. or even the time i started losing sleep all because i was convinced that i wanted to die. heartbreak is a disease.  passed onto one person to the other. it doesnt have a cure all you can do is hope you don't get it as bad as the less fortunate before.

you told me you loved me, and out of stupidity i surrendered and told myself to let my guards down for you.
and so i did.
then i caught you kissing the girl who i knew was better than me.
the girl whom everyone wanted.
i knew i couldn't compete. so i didn't even put up a fight.
i let you in.
& you shut me down.
you're all i had, what the **** do i do now?

(i write more stories than poetry and that's the opposite purpose as to why this website was created but hey as long as im expressing and portraying a story with many words that still counts for something, i suppose)
i keep to myself most days, it's very rare hearing me talk because my head is always peeped in my book. don't get me wrong, i have no problem starting a discussion with someone or joining in on a conversation that by the end of it i'll have realized i walked in on the wrong conversation. although i dont talk to many people, there's a huge possibility that ive analyzed the things they do that make them peculiar and esquisite at being them. from the way a person eats to the way they walk or even the way they breathe. i fall in love a good ten times a day. not to be interpreted the wrong way, i don't fall in love like an i crave you at two am kind of love but more of an i appreciate your exsistence and think you are a wonderful human being kind of love.  i wonder if someone has ever analyzed me the way that i analyze others. what a remarkable feeling that would be.