Today is my birthday
You remembered of course
I woke up to your text calling me baby girl
It's these little things that make me have the slightest bit of hope that things could still work
Today is my birthday
And all I want is your lips against mine
Your hand on my cheek
As you slowly brush my fallen hair behind my ear
I want a long passionate kiss
Only interrupted when you slightly pull yourself away from me to look me in the eyes and say
Happy 18th birthday baby
That's my 18th birthday wish
When you see me blowing out the candles
Just know
Im wishing for things to go back to how they used to be

For me
before I can become completely committed to you,
I have to ask myself if I can see you on the front porch.
The front porch of OUR house in 50years.
If I can see myself smile when i look over to you,
All old and grey next to me on our front porch.
If I want you to be there next to me,
Then you're a keeper


*i only found one person who was front porch compatible and he let me down

Let me remind you
You had me.
You had me
My laugh
My flaws
My smile
My everything
I was willing to give it all to you
Let me remind you
You're the one who ended this
I know you see the smile on my face
So don't you dare tell people
I'm off limits
Let me remind you
You had me
Let me remind you
*You're the one who ended this

We decided things were over but there wasn't anything to end
We never had a title.
There was no changing relationship statuses,
Because it was never official to begin with.
There was no breaking of picture frames,
Because there were none put up.
No need to return your things
Because I never took any to begin with.

We said things were over but you still look at me the same way you did
We said things were over but your hug is still as tight as ever
We said things were over but our feelings didnt go away
So who is it that wants things over?
**Because it's not me.

the wall was high
it was thick too
but it wasn't her fault
every boy
every lie
every ex friend
every disappointment
just added another brick
layers on top of layers of bricks
it wasnt noticable until looked at as a whole
the wall was high but not impossible to destroy

You knew I never cried,
That I had to be really upset,
That if I did only the 4 walls of my bedroom would know.
You knew I never cried over a boy,
That I would never let anyone close enough to hurt me.
You said you wanted to be the shoulder I cried on if I had to,
We both laughed because I don't cry over boys.
*But I cried over you

I find it sad when i have conversations with you in my dreams
when you tell me that you moved on
Its like even my subconscious knows you don't want to be with me anymore
That you're not even worth the space you inhabit inside my head
But some how i still dream about you saying these words
the words you're too scared to say to my face.

When i'm sad i pick off my nail polish.
We haven't kissed in 2 weeks,
14 days,
14 different coats of nail polish

She was a closed book
A book that never opened up
Never let anyone read her
Kept her secrets hidden beneath the cover
Between the pages
In the spaces of the words that formed sentences
Sentences that described how truly damaged she was
How gentle and fragile

You took the book in the palm of your hands
You swung open the cover and read the pages
You didn't read it all
You must have missed the part where it stated you needed to handle with care
You must of skipped that page
Or skimmed over those lines
Unless you read it but didn't care
Because you started ripping out pages
They tore and crumbled as they hit the pavement floor
You threw the book down and walked away
A page was left inside
It said once you open this book you must stay.
you must have missed that part right?
Right?