The wind plays a crying song that secretly calls my name
It pulls at my heavy heart with sadness like it knows
That I am lost in the wilderness of this life unintended
Bound to the four corners from which the wind blows

The melody is enchanting as it calls me from my sleep
I hear my ancestors dancing for falling rain in my dreams
I am praying for the rain that washes away my tears
As the garments of old come apart at the delicate seams

In my heart I paint pictures of what my life would be
If I had been born to my own people in the distant past
I am stuck here in this never ending struggle to live a life
Where the pain and strife of day to day is all that lasts

They whisper secrets in my slumber and hold me to the pain
I cut my faith and watch it bleed, now wounded by my pride
I stitch my hope with patches of trepidation and forgiveness
Because I will die tonight if I have to hold it all inside

The blood of my past is coursing through my veins
They understand my soul is weary from this fight
I pray I don’t have to awake from my peace of mind
My reflection a prism within the darkness and the light

As for the dreams that dance between the brink of life
I hold tightly to the song that reminds me this is not the end
I pray that I never forget where I have been in this journey
A song carried on the souls of old I hear whisper in the wind

Matthew 24:12
Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold

As I grow older, the world grows colder and my sins become well defined
With the world on my shoulders, my hate is bolder, my soul is now confined
My lips speak free lies, paid by deceit I despise, in death I have found delight
I’m behind my soul’s arise and wicked don’t disguise their darkness in the light
My worldly ways relate but my thoughts won’t debate my ailing mental health
Poverty won’t wait; man’s tongue filled with hate and devoid of all real wealth
Seeking signs of being freed, something we cannot be, reaping the pain we sow
My wants exceed because my desires cannot see there’s no more room to grow
My cold heart is dying, my eyes no longer crying because I feel no more pain
I am intrigued by the lying while consumers are buying and nothing do they gain

If I gain the world and lose my soul, then I have gained nothing in the end
My selfishness vast and out of control, It is my modesty that I cannot mend
This world is wicked and taking a toll, to my dissolving sanity it cannot lend
Society becoming the blackened hole that blind science can no longer defend
With blood on our hands justice is a goal in which power and money can bend
It wasn’t my innocence that they stole but the dreams which my demons attend
Missing my discernment, I’m no longer whole to the depths of despair I Descend

Amassed guilt in pounds
Built on unfertile grounds
Shame is my tether to years

Feeding off of the belief
That faith brings relief
Helps me avoid the fears

The poor of heart abound
Where the wicked are found
Lost in the youth of my peers

I have found my despair in life
Admitting I can’t avoid strife
I only wish I could find my tears

Isaiah 59:3
For your hands are stained with blood, your fingers with guilt. Your lips have spoken falsely, and your tongue mutters wicked things.

My carcass is finally depleted
My heart has been for the last time cheated
I look back on my life with much regret

One divorce come and gone
Because we refused to get along
Nothing left but heartache and debt

In Retrospect I know that I can’t take it back
I would surely give all to regain what I lack
In my own self pity, this is low as I get

One step up and I fall three behind
Nothing to prove and not a companion to find
Just my hard earned tears and sweat

Disappointment amounts in leaps and bounds
Stony hearts built on soiled grounds
Just this whiskey to drink and a broken cigarette

I may possibly give up and let it all go
As closer to this abandoned grave I grow
The reaper comes collecting a lost bet

I’ve learned and loved and compensated the cost
I’ve been to the depths of pain when all was lost
And played my life like Russian roulette

One bullet in and five rounds spent
Borrowed too much to pay back what was lent
The emptiest soul you never met

My hands are shabby and labored to the bone
Ready to give back this life that’s on loan
An unoccupied shell of a broken silhouette

I have heard in far of places, where evil men do dwell
That in this place, there is no light in shadows spell
They are filled with hate and ordained, to walk the path alone
Their tears are dry, they cannot cry and hearts are made of stone

The heart of a man is stonier than where love refuses to grow
Where time is a word of fate, exchanging tears for blood to flow
Carnage in destructions belly, monsters of burden take to air
With gnashing teeth and jagged claws, you cry out in despair

To be trapped within a web of lies, hope that depletes your soul
They grin with fangs of blood and gore and discern no self control
Your children’s smiles feed the gluttony, of love’s casual distain
Wicked unimagined pain; brief satisfaction is what they gain
So out to hunt again, their belly’s worn from gravel and slither
They drain the world of faith, while the sun commences to wither
Angels grounded devoid of flight; heats of hell seared their wings
The birds of night taken flight, from darkness abyss as banshee sings
People are blinded by phantoms smoke, cursed as walking dead
They walk with sin right next to them, on streets all paved in red
Bones of victims piled in heaps; while hunting vultures circle round
Ghosts of martyred blameless souls concealed within the ground
The earth struggles to purge itself of human infestation
Quakes, storms and inferno’s flames since dawn of mans creation
The devil strides, with jokers grin and gloats sincere admiration
Knowing the ****** hearts in evil men is beyond all restoration
The world is sick, no cure in sight we breed like pox and boils
Contamination of humanity rinks the fleshy earth rots and spoils
The ocean leaps and bounds trying to soothingly lick the sores
This far off place where evil men dwell finally washed up on our shores

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

Also from experience but through revelation
The heart of a man can hold great devastation
A man gone wrong can drain the soul of another,
Contaminate the soul of a mother
And change the mind of a child
Hate in daddies eyes, as the baby cries….
The Devil sat back and smiled
This morning the news said our future looks bleak,
No one can find what they seek
And I thank God that I know love
What chaotic life can be made when hearts of stone have been laid……..
As a foundation for our youth, and the children we dispose of
Our children are dying but our mothers aren’t crying
Because they are the cause of the needless pain
The children are misused and their bodies abused
And really it’s all in vain
The sickness within has spread like disease
and infected the general population
Now these children are grown and the seeds have been sown to carry on a mental devastation
Rumors of wars and personal vendettas in store from the people who lead you to hell
The path is narrow but the gates are wide
and my soul is not for sell
They say money is the root of all evil…… but really it’s the hands that exchange
The TV says *** sells and to look towards fame and glory… that’s not my story
And I am starting to think I have been short changed
The TV sells lies that are cleverly disguised
and I worry about my child’s perception
In the mind of a child is the twisted reality
of this world’s perverse deception
I wish I could cry but my emotions are dry….. I have been desensitized
And every time I turn on this **** TV… the chaos… has me mesmerized
I want to know what happens next, my mind is oversexed
and I am being told I need a drink
I used to believe it was easier to just get blowed….I didn’t have the energy to think
Well there’s a pill for every ill and a drug
for every memory I would like to erase
I wonder sometimes, while I am forced to commit crimes
if one day I will be free from this place
But my child has to eat and I won’t accept defeat……. I am also on the paper chase
I have hope still that the people’s free will can lead them to seek God’s face
Hope in a hopeless world is a danger all in itself
Passion, Empathy, Loyalty and Love
Exchanged in the place of wealth

While I grow older, heart’s of men grow colder
But I understand….the weight of the world can be profound!
If I could cry for the pain of the world,
By now I surely would have drowned
There is no true relief from this constant disbelief,
My head to the sky and my feet on the ground
I hope my daughter knows love and I am forgiven for my ultimate sin
Taking another life to avoid this world’s strife
And escape the hearts of men

Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save. Psalm 146:3

I saw grandpa with hate for the world within his hands
I saw him use those weapons as vice for sick commands
I saw him numb our world with what substance expands
But I never saw him show love that being a man demands

I saw my grandma leave her babies to hands distained
I saw her drink, lie, use men and leave her children drained
I saw her check out of life till nothing of her heart or soul remained
I never saw what love a grandmother’s heart should’ve contained

I watched my mother cry out in the night screaming in a sweat
From all the things her father did that she won’t soon forget
I watched her choose a man who did the same to us in her regret
I never saw her in so much pain as when she found I paid her debt

I watched my mother struggle with nothing for us to provide
I watched her wear the makeup and smiles bruises rarely hide
I watched her sleep with a needle in her arm devoid of pride
I never saw her live where peace and forgiveness could reside

I watched my mother drown her pain with any remedy but no relief
I watched her die inside out filled with bottomless aching grief
I watched her take our lives in one night, they came like a thief
But I never saw her face past regret with so much disbelief

I watched my dad sell his soul along with his needles and dope
I watched him drown in alcohol as a way to forget and cope
I watched him beat my mother an inch from life’s grand scope
I never saw in his eyes a glimpse of regret, love or hope

I watched him come into our room and steal our happiness nightly
I watched him lose his mental grasp that he once held so tightly
I watched him suffer in his own pain that he deserved so rightly
But I never saw any remorse as the the tears fell so lightly

I watched my aunts and uncles abuse, treated as their mother
I watched them transfer hatred easily from themselves to another
I watched them abuse their own children beyond all recover
But I never saw them be real family and try to heal one another

I watched my cousins repeat a cycle of the abuse and drugs they hate
I watched them live their lives as darkness, in lies they perpetuate
I watched them turn into their mothers and fathers, bearing all their weight
But I never saw them fight to change it, left such ill begotten fate

I watched my baby sister cry out while she was ***** and abused
I watched her deteriorate as a child from all of the drugs she used
I watched her lie there desperately broken, battered and bruised
But I never saw her give up on life from the despair that she refused

I watched my brother as a child, to the abuse as he confessed
I watched him try and explain in words the pain which he possessed
I watched him fight with all he had and any touch he did detest
I never saw him in so much turmoil as the night which he digressed

I watched my brother quietly sink into the deepest self depression
I watched him hurt anyone within his grasp, pent up past aggression
I watched him **** himself with a deep sadness and a guns possession
But I never saw him hurt again after that single shells transgression

I was forced to walk this life unaided and scared
I was given a golden ticket out unforeseen
I never saw my family like they really were
I remained somewhere in between
From home to home I drifted misplaced
On my own since before I turned thirteen
I used to think that I was cursed to be alone
To live this life always broken and unseen
Torn away from all that I had known
I never saw just what all of this would mean
Now I know how a perceived past was reversed
My life was being reshaped and heart wiped clean
To not have grown to repeat the family cycle
Of everything I lived and what my eyes had seen