she touched up untended walls
all alone, no party assembled
attempting to create reactions
with her color selection
and inspire sunken eyes
with the antonym for
"you are worthless" and "no one cares"
...but the paint is peeling

and her motivation runs constant
as she prepares her endurance
to spackle and smooth grooved surfaces
prime marks and hide pitted edges
to place appropriate strokes adequately
and try a little color contrast
on previously blended door and window trim
...but the paint is peeling

now bubbles form and fall flakily at her feet
as a sleight of hand starts its mischief
of defacing the layers of her self-affirmation
with synonyms for the premature initiative she displayed
so, she drops her tools and starts peeling
removing the pain that is hindering her renewal
and covering the constant decay correctly
working toward a strengthened surface
that maintains its finish against the cruelest force
and accepts loving, touches
without turning them to criticism.

I’m determined to find joy
in the most unexpected places.

I hope to inspire more with my joy
than I have, so often, with my pain.

I’m not perpetually depressed
and bound to a broken spirit.

I'm just, quite often,
an expression of the emoting
of the broken who feel muted.

I do have consecutive days
of the light of grace shining
on me and on you in ways
that I can see clearly.

I do have months of risings and settings
with smiles if for no other reason
than because blindness enhances my being
so that I may become all sensing.

Yet, when blindness brings the days
of my binding to the lovers of my painful cries
and I'm too blind to even sense enhancement,
I remain determined.

There is joy all around us in places
that we never think to look until blindness
forces us to sense on all levels
the beauty that love placed around us
to diminish the sting of pain.

words dangle precariously
such a tickling sensation
i clear my throat
to dislodge my heart

futility
every hello sent
every well wished
it's like reading "Our Daily Bread"
just to pass the time.

i'm in a death grip
self imposed
crushing swollen glands
I want to say "I Love You"

tea steeps
fogging spectacles as tears form
i notice the sweetener nearby
as the kitchen light blows