body imagine is crucial in human culture
"im fat" "im not attractive enough"
its all in your mind my love
one person in specific
her
she does not believe she is gorgeous
when all i ******* see is beauty
she hates the way her teeth show when she smiles
maybe she hates her smile overall
but that ******* smile has the ability to make someone fall in love all over when it shines through
i have fallen victim to this
she has a laugh
that giggle
that laugh
my heart melts like hot wax falling from the side of a candle when that laugh radiates through my ******* ears
kids close your ears for this next part
the woman anatomy is a very complex thing
***** and vaginas become the main source of insecurity
my ***** are too far apart
my ****** looks weird
no
your ***** look like something my hands would love to hold and my mouth would love to touch
on lonely nights my head would love to be on them in a second
******
my mouth would love to taste you
feel you
my tongue would love to recite the alphabet on something that is so sacred
every ******* part of you is perfect to me
from the way your hips curve
i know that curve
its my curve
a thing i could memorize like i know how to count to ******* 10
you are truly beautiful
and **** anyone who ******* tells you otherwise

i always thought i loved boys
i was meant to be there
i forced myself to care for someone who cared about me just as much as someone cares for a ******* grain of sand
endless self hatred and changing myself to someone i did not even ******* know
i would have burned myself away to feel good enough for you
but that still would not have made him love me
i craved attention
from anything or anyone because feeling beautiful was something missing within me
feeling good enough is something that does not come easy
because all my life i have been nothing but a ******* burden to anyone who crosses my path
then i met someone i didnt even know ******* existed
someone who made me feel like the stars were made for me
someone whos smile and giggle could make me feel more ******* alive than anytime before
and this time it wasnt a boy
a gorgeous girl
her names kayla
two years ago i couldnt even imagine marrying anyone
let alone a girl
but this girl has my heart so ******* tight in her hands
i would do anything for her
she makes all the bad parts inside of myself close out
make all the scars i had opened previously heal
i cant wait for this one girl to walk down the ******* aisle to me
and just know shes mine forever

i cant ******* breathe
i imagine you as the wall
that generate blood and ******* anger
all ive wanted was to be good enough for you
i can never
and will never
you never saw my first steps or heard my first ******* words
but somehow you tried **** for the first time when i was barely able to know who you even were
off and on in the picture
18 ******* years and you would think you would finally care
but a needle in your arm has more power over me
im so sorry i could never make you happy
make you proud
im ******* sorry
but im not
how the **** am i supposed to be sorry for someone who does not give one **** about me
your body and your family are giving up on you
and thats not stopping you
have fun in hell