Cold autumn day,
it seemed that the weather
decided to skip the fall
and move right into a cold and bitter rain.
Tapping down
on the hood of my jacket
and my rather-too-pronounced nose.
Stinging ever slightly,
I was distracted.
By the steam exiting my mouth
and the whine of a firetruck
racing off into the distance.
Distraction was taking me, reminding me
as cold and bitter as that rain.
I was not there.
I was half a year ago
with a girl I loved,
or perhaps didn't.
Together, on a twin mattress
listening to the patter of a cold, bitter rain
tapping on the window.

Half&Hal;;

Simply, half and half
makes a universe in a cup,
filled with cream and milk.
Know not what it is
but know what it is
not, and where it is,
(and if you dare)
know why it is.

Really, the bassist plays,
His universe is in a cup
filled with groove and rhythm,
he knows what that is.
He knows what it is not,
where it is found,
and why it is.
(and he does dare)

Simply, to know the contents
of your cup of half and half,
to spill it out and fill it up
again, ponder its past,
present,
and future.

Really, to know the music
that flies from your arms,
to hold them out and raise them up
again, ponder the chords,
  rhythm,
and progression.

Simply, you miss out.

Really,

You miss out.

The ice on the river thins
and it's time to go home

We'd always take the longer way home
Entwining our scarves together and holding hands
Only parting at the crossroads, when I'd stand on the mound
And watch as you skipped away.

The barn and its hay
Always tickled my nose
Its rats climbing the walls easily
While we giggled beneath their posteriors

Holidays in the summer when
Fields bathed in the sunset scorched our heads
Bellies full of peaches and innocent love
And the little kisses we'd give

The rain pours through the leaves and
We find the roots of an old tree
Sit to huddle together and sneeze
Licking the water off each other

Bliss and yesterdays
Treats to my heart
While I sit here and wait
Wait for something to happen
Wait for you to come back
As I watch you skip away.

I still think of you
when I hear a song that moves me
And wonder what it would follow
on the tape I wish I could make you.
This is the standing stone
on an emotional landscape
that has changed as fast as technology,
seen music shift from soulfood
to occasional backdrop
and solitary teenage bedrooms morph
to joyful family homes (thank God).

I wouldn't go back -
but here's a song, unexpected, blissful
which can't quite touch me as it should
Because I can't press 'record',
watch the reels go round
and imagine you listening
when the tape crosses the country
and fetches up at your front door.

No more padded envelopes
nor blotted biro liner notes;
no more declarations hidden in plain sight
in ninety minutes of love
I knew no other way to send.

I'm weaving with yarn
crocheting stitches
across my heart

sewing up my wounds
allowing release
through art

a slipknot here
a whipstitch there

I weave and weave
as I crochet into repair

the frayed edges of my soul

you found me raw.
with only bones & scars to show - you found me.
no flesh to show i was breathing, no lungs to show i was living.
i was scared,
you were outstretched arms,
reeling me in, until i could no longer resist.
i say to myself, "i need you."
a tear so powerful you could see the shear fear shining through it.
you sit in silence.
weeks later i try something different.
i hold your hand & tell you you're beautiful.
my lungs begin to pump air,
but you sit in silence.
i was lost, confused & in a daze.
i thought what i felt was real for the first time in my life.
a mistake.
a month later i tried something new,
something before i became a pile of dust.
i looked into your eyes & said, 
"i love you."
you kissed me, you held my hand, your breathing picked up & i heard through the whimper of your voice "i love you too."
finally, i see that it's when you're touching me, that i have flesh,
i'm breathing,
i'm alive,
then i look at you & i see that you're just as raw as i am.
clear to the bone.
but your eyes are shining like the milky way galaxy & i'm noticing -
how it's through silence that the most powerful of words are spoken.

The bond between us
does not quite speak to the stars
as precious carvings
but as seeds of happiness.
Here you see me in thought
rearranging reflections inside a message
held in glass.

Far away I hold my breath
then let it out to chase dream-filled sleep.  
Soft sighs escape
streaming through the night
in shells of kisses
moving ultimately to form this lovely
smile I keep.

Quivering inside my dreams
are elaborate colors
that dance on my tongue.
I taste them as whispers of you.
The bond between us does not quite
speak to the stars, but here
in my dreams is sung.