What is the depth of love,
how deeply can we feel the pain?
When love seems so right,
there in the night.
Why do we not see,
when love leaves?
How do you stop the hurt
that goes to the very core?
The being of love
that changes over night.
From a raging hunger
deep within your soul.
To an ache that will throb in despair.
How do you rid yourself
of the pain?
Long after love has left
walking out the door.
Wanting to die and stop feeling
only the hurt within.
But we must go on even though
we think we will never love again.
The blackness that engulfs us
raging below in the depth below.
How deep can love cut us
with the knife we know as love?

Last night we celebrated 40 years,
out to dinner we went.
So different than our wedding day
We ate and reminisced.
At sixteen I didn't have much sense
and at 23 you even  less.
How crazy we were way back then
You in you bell bottom jeans and vest,
I in a black mini skirt and boots.
We road around until we found
a mailbox with Rev. on it.
In we went to get hitched,
borrowing your brothers' wife's' ring.
As the preacher pronounced us man and wife,
a box of kittens was my main thing.
A nudge from behind brought me back
to the day I'll always remember.
As we walked out the door
the ring I gave back.
Oh what a memory we did make
but the best of all
was our wedding night.
You road around drinking beer with your brother-in-law
and I went to a tupperware party!

Where can I go when all hope is gone?
Where can I go when I can't go on?
Living a life that seems to fast
Where do I find a glimmer at last?
I've searched through everything this world can offer
But nothing has worked or eased the hurt
There is no peace to find no matter where I look
So what do I do besides letting the tears flow
Where is the answers to all the hard questions?
The wind blows harder, the storm rages on
When will all this drama of life come to an end?
All these questions and no one answers
Then I remember who is my true friend
He bore the stripes and went through the pain
Nothing can compare to what my Jesus did gain.
Family and friends, they all fled
He knows my feelings and every thought I have
For me he died and carried my cross
To Him I will turn and not be lost.
Thank You ,Lord is all I can say
Jesus is true in every way.

The sounds of the Grandchildren
forever touch my heart.
Running and playing tag
playing hide and seek in the dark.
Ball games and checkers
Board games and riding bikes.
Giggling and laughter
float to my ears at night.
A smile on my lips
as I listen to them so dear.
What joy their innocent
voices bring.
Who would have thought
so long ago.
That they would bring happiness
not grief or woe.
As my children grew
and drew my nerves tight .
Too many friends over
on Friday and Saturday nights.
Renting movies
scarey ones at that.
Eating all that was in the kitchen
and wanting to grow fat.
Making me wish
I could run everyone home.
But the days have changed
and I have grew.
A Grandmother now
with a heart of one too.

Tell me how can a hole
claim such an emptiness?

A hole to be filled in
but with just what?

The emptiness inside
the blackness within.

We try and try
then try again.

Relationships, glory,
drugs and food.

Additions to what
we try ourselves to do.

But nothing stops
the hunger within.

Round and round
and down we go again.

Sinking deeper and deeper
within the hole.

Only Jesus can fill
that longing within.

Only He can fill
that emptiness within.

No more darkness,
only light.
In the sweet name of Jesus
do we find light.

Love has been mine many times over,
I was reaching for what was not there.
Looking for what no one would give,
Until the day I found you to care.

Your love for me you did not know,
Nor even seemed to want but after
the years I've learned for sure,
How deep a true love is ours.

It stays when the rent is due and
and no food in the house to find.
A job you lost because they moved from
our town just at Christmas time.

Kids are crying they don't see why
Santa isn't coming to their door.
How do you make it all all right?
I've seen you do it once more.

No matter where times took us,
We walked it hand and hand.
Good times and bad times, lean and plenty
We just keep holding to each other hand.

Now kids are grown and they live their life
And you and I are alone with you taking care of me
It's not easy excepting the fact that I don't have long with you
But a love could be no stronger than the one you have shone me through the years.

The lights are out,
it's time to sleep.
But away from me it hides,
In the recesses of my troubled mind.
Sleep! Where are you? I do not know
I've looked, and looked but can not see.
There, in a darkened corner I get a glimps of you,
Heckling in the dark, How dare you!
Everything I've done, and you laugh at me?
Sleep is just an elusive thought tonight.
One I will not find.
                                                           ­                Debbie Wilbanks 12/1020