al final no quisiera que pensáras 
que he perdido la cabeza 
intentando meterte a una jaula 
o que pretendo conocerte 
de piés a cabeza 
se que soy solo 
quizá una mas 
quizá una menos 
escenografía en tus días
pero yo encuentro alivio
en tus microexpresiones
en la sencilléz
la percepción sensorial
de nuestros encuentros
frente a tí me gusta pensar
que estoy hecha 
de agua o de estambre 
me desenvuelvo 
cada vez que te veo
y el rubór en mis mejillas
es transparencia 
y te regalo con frecuencia
una mirada nerviosa 
un saludo nervioso
deja te regalo también-

disculpa lo torpe 
que puedo llegar a ser 
mi mirada de niña no es 
la totalidad de mi sed 
es tan inmenso 
mi respeto por ti
que por las noches 
me robo las estrellas 
las lanzo a la tierra 
ahi caen y como semillas
se siembran mis palabras 
ahora se las regalo 
a quien se las escribí
esperando que en ellas
encuentre él también 
una parte de mí

¡sí te creo que estámos hechos de agua!
¡porque ahorita me estoy haciendo agua!
me siento líquida aquí en tus brazos
pero no me gustan mis 18
a los 18 solo pienso en tener 81
no me gustan los amantes, las fiestas
los besos que van y vienen
y que nunca me atrevo a dar
no se que pasa se me va el aire
a veces siento que me haré agua
se me va a caer la cabeza de los hombros
siento que ya no tengo piernas

cuerpo débil
pechos blancos
símbolo perpetuo de mi ****
símbolo eterno de mi juventud
18 años ahí bajo mi camisa
maldecidos los miro
yo soy un cadáver
no me voy a morir
si me voy a morir
(por eso te tengo entre la boca)
no me gustan las amistades
ni las promesas
y ya decidí morir
justo ahorita en la banqueta
frente a ti
me voy a deshacer, vas a ver
me voy a ser una con el suelo
voy a ser agua

soñé ser un río, un lago
soñé ser del mar y ser agua
¡soñé de niña! ¡ser una anciana!
sin dientes de tanto vivir
¡me vi colgada! ¡sin cabeza!
sin cuerpo de tanto sentir
pero sin existir
si tan solo fuera por mi
sí me gustaría vivir
ahora si estoy flotando
sin pies ni cabeza
ahora si estoy volando
sí me voy a ver mejor te lo prometo
azul casi de ese color que sigue después

1990
de millones de años
los años de vida
trastornos que pueden ser
la esperanza encrucijada en
sistema de vulnerabilidad

de modernización
hombres para ahogamientos
y deriva de 1980
los daños por vivir
los de la sangre
insidiosas y permanentes
baja en ****

y la glucosa original
de hombres y drogas
la falta de homicidios y
vida al nacer y
ansiedad arterial
se movieron
un cancer que se ocupaba
en algoritmos de la piel

(25 de Abril, 2015)

in the depth of the woods
like the depths of the sea
where words roll off tongues
and run through the trees;
the skirt of the mountain
where we are free
I sat next to you
with you holding me

of the waves in the air
a bright sun on our clothes
this golden knot of our hands
the golden love that is yours
a loving edge to your voice
to hear its sweetness once more!
the girl you love by your side
where she stays, and never goes

in our home, in the woods
where we dream, where we sleep
this house that is the sky
the earth and the trees;
where the sun warms us both
with no schedule, no time
where I am irrevocably yours
and you unconditionally mine

in the heart of the woods
and the heart of our souls
the ageless, the timeless
ancient love from our cores
this golden place where we sit
we sit still, we sit free;
where I always love you
and you always love me

(21-22, April 2015)

with any luck, I thought;
we might have been the first
to go live on the moon
and do as we pleased
even if no other had landed
his soft baby boots on it's surface
where the men and women danced
with no faces

with any luck, I reckoned
we might just be the first
to dig a hole underground
full of tunnels and caves
even if no one else had dug
with his own nails as we did
where we hear no sound
whatsoever

with any luck
you would shoot yourself on the doorway
and the dogs and wild beasts
to take care of the cleaning
so as to silence for long the angry jeers
and angry eyes
that you keep pointing and laughing
what us with our sad faces

[december 2014]

for the ones we didn’t share
held in your palm,
on your fingers,
the storm and the calm

for the time spent alone,
feet planted firmly on the ground
in mirages and images that crumbled
without warning, without sound

for the moments you waited
for an ear or for a mouth
a tooth to stay equal
a group heading south

for the time you spent in anger
and did not make better use of your skill
for the times they made you smaller
or spoke of you ill …

for the tears you shed in heaven
and the ones you gave in hell
for the time I didn’t hold your hand
for the years I wasn’t there

there is a knot at the back of my throat
in the pit of my stomach
a hard tension holding my jaw
like that of a million hearts, crumbling
there is a cold hell that devours my mind
an empty space in the back of my skull
is this a hunger you feel as well
or do I feel this pain alone?

it’s a frozen fire that lifts my mind
gnawing at the ventricles of my heart
like the carcass of a dead animal
the hell of an empty space that tears me apart
it is a death that rots as it walks the earth;
with broken fingernails I weep and mourn
the death of the greatest feelings
which I have felt for you, alone

is it the epiphany of my heart
this hunger I feel when you are far?
running deep as the rivers of the earth
stretching itself to the very stars  
you left me alone with myself
and this is the greatest pain
it's an open grave that invites me in
and devours my soul with each passing day

it's the monotone rhythm of my tired feet
it's the numbness of feel that rots in my heart
the haunted nightmares I encounter in my sleep
and you're no longer there to keep them apart
life has become mere existence:
a shallow repetition for the end of my days
it seems hell is an empty space
and so it shall grow while you are away

tonight-
the wind howls
as it has never howled before
shaking the windows
chilling my bones
whistling through the keyholes
slamming all doors
the wind reminds me of a voice
which can only be yours
a sound that destroys me
and I have come to adore

tonight;
the space between my fingers
the abyss mapping my heart
sting like a wild fire
and are tearing me apart
this other person stares from the ceiling;
watches me inside out
an open wound continues bleeding-
like a kiss from a torn mouth.

tonight
the very walls close in on me
every peel in the wallpaper
spells out your name
the floorboards and the curtain folds
seem to do just the same
a cold head and a conscious mind
staring blindly as they go up in flames
filled now with sweet syllables
and an even sweeter pain

tonight,
the wind howls;
and it whistles the very truth
a heart breaks and burns
turning cold and blue
the walls whisper your name
a sound that runs me through
another night ticks by
I think of you

they like my taste
feasting on blood
they devoured my entrails
and swallowed me whole
they like my fingers
they way that they crack
my heart burning closer
my breath hard and fast

they liked my person
I was natural and not dead
they named me a corporation
and put a price on my head
they like my body
pretended that they care
they have mutilated my body
and named it theirs

they like my flesh
in blood coloured tones
they counted my breaths
and numbered my bones

you took me to my highest mountain
to a place i'd never known
i rose up to the greatest moment
a happiness i wouldn't of found on my own

you showed me another side of myself
full of joy and laughter and glee
i closed my mind and focused on you
i closed my eyes, to see

you created another side of myself
full of sorrow and sadness, and gloom
i lost myself thinking of you
i cry alone, an empty room

i plummet from the highest mountain
to a place i've never known
you threw me to the deepest darkness
an abyss that is my own