Why is everything so heavy?
Or at least that how I feel every
Moment when I try to live my life
And I try everything I can just to barely survive

Because no matter how hard I try
I just sit there and cry and wonder why
Everything is becoming so heavy
And honestly I just envy

All my friends who live their lives
While I cut myself with knives
Mentally, emotionally
Irrationally

I try walking away from my battles
But every time my feet hit the grounds it rattles
No matter how hard I try and walk away
Everything becomes heavy either way

My hope, my dreams, my demons on my shoulders
I feel like Atlas holding up boulders
While I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And it feels like I’m being greeted by the grim reaper

With every breath I take
And every move I make
Every thing becomes overwhelming
And I wonder what my life is becoming

Why is everything so heavy?
My world, my life crashing like a levy
During a cat 4 hurricane
And all I can feel is the pain

And suffering every time I fall
And I’m feeling so ******* small
That all I can do is crawl
Away from everyone and everything, goodbye y’all

I’m sinking deeper and deeper into the sand
And I feel like I can but I keep telling myself I can’t
Do anything; I can’t move on
I keep feeling like **** come on!

I keep drowning myself with an irrational emotion
Every second that I should just follow the motion
Of the ocean but the ocean is drowning me
Why is everything so ******* heavy?

My head is spinning outta control
And I feel like I can’t escape this hell hole
And I feel emotions that I never knew existed
But these thoughts and emotions persisted

And my mind becomes twisted
And every time I try to take a breath, I’m restricted
Because my heart is heavy pressing against my lungs
And I’m just rocking and rolling with the every punch that comes

I try to scream but the cat got my tongue
And it’s a constant battle like Apple versus Samsung
Every time I try to scream it’s so **** imposible
That I have tears down my face its improbable

Of me reaching my hopes and dreams
That with every passing second my self esteem’s
Taking a plunge into the icy water
That I tell myself “why do I even bother?”

Nothing I do will change my path to
Where I wanna go but I wanna shout to you
Help me!
Safe me from this endless nightmare I plea

Because it’s pulling me deeper and deeper
How can I make this any clearer
To y’all my family and my friends
That I need to make some amends

Because I’m not ready to say the end
To everyone who helped me comprehend
What is right and what is wrong
And what I can do to make myself strong

Mentally, physically, emotionally
Thank you for loving me unconditionally
And being there for me inspirationally
Now I’m functioning socially and intellectually

I wish I had said this sooner
Help me!
Save me!

Hey how was your day? It was ok I guess
I don’t know what else to say
Or how else to describe the “normal” day
In the life of someone who just wants each day to pass

Smoothly and quietly so I won’t suffer any more
Because my head is spinning outta control
And I...I hate to admit but it’s taking its toll
To the point where I’m always “tired” and becoming a bore.

What is reality and what is fiction
Cloud my head and my thoughts
And I can’t feel anything but remorse
Because I’m losing traction towards my mission

Of being the best that I can be.
Wanna go to the beach today?
I wish I could but I don’t know what to say
And how to say it so I tell y’all that I wanna flee

Because I’m too busy and I’m too tired.
I tried telling y’all what that means to me
But no matter how hard I try, y’all just disagree
And believe that I’m nothing but just a coward

But the truth is my “tiredness” and “busyness” are overwhelming
And I feel like I can’t keep on going
Or living the life I’m living right now because not knowing
What life will bring me the next second is numbing.

Y’all think I was lying when I say that I’m busy
And the truth is...yea I am lying
I’m not lying about being busy though; I’m dying
And what’s going on in my head is making me dizzy.

I’m busy in ways that many people don’t understand:
I’m busy breathing deeper
My heart is racing like a NASCAR driver
And I’m busy calming it down and

I’m busy telling myself every day and night
And every moment that I’m okay.
Deep down I’m searching for the words to say
To my friends and family that I’m alright

But I’m screaming on the inside
Because I’m done hiding from all y’all
And I’m done feeling so **** small.
I’m gonna take every stride with pride rather than run and hide

From my fears and demons because I have so much pride
In the person I have become
And I’m done feeling numb
So I decide to not be denied

From reaching  my dream to provide
Happiness and laughter worldwide
Alongside taking care of those who think why’d
Nobody is taking care of us but I’ll stand up say I’d

Dear diary,
How was my day?
Oh you know...
The usual.

My life is a
Rainbow.
Together, our parts
Create something
Amazing and
Beautiful.
There are times
When I'm
Red with
Anger,
Green with
Disgust,
Blue with
Sadness,
Yellow with
Happiness,
And shades
Of different
Colors.
Alone, they're just
Colors
... Emotions.
Together,
They create something
Amazing and
Beautiful.
Our beginnings are
Dark
With clouds and
Rain
But we emerge
Out of the
Darkness
And bring
Peace and
Happiness
To those around
Us.
My life is a
Rainbow
With
Pots of Gold
Waiting at the
End.

They cover my arms
And my legs.
They cover my head
And back.
They're all over
My face.
They tell the story of
Who I was,
Of who I am,
And who I will be.
My tattoos tell my
Life story.
With every movement of
The pen,
Comes pain as the needle
Goes deeper into me.
Slowly though, with time,
The pain subsides and
I'm left with reminders
Of every aspect of my life:
The good and bad,
The painful experiences,
The joy and happiness.
There are mistakes
Because my life is
Not perfect.
There are scars
Because I fell more
Than I've stood up.
There are new ones
Covering older ones
Because over time,
I've learned to
Live in the now and
Forget the past.
With every tattoo I get,
I'm reminded of
What I've done:
The mistakes,
The right decisions,
The failures,
And successes.
There are more mistakes
Than perfect tattoos
Because my life isn't
Perfect.
It's perfectly
Imperfect.
With every stroke of
The pen
Comes pain, happiness,
Some regret.
But I won't
Stop getting them
Because my tattoos tell
My life story.
I have so much more
To tell because
My life isn't over yet.

Everyday we go through
Heaven and Hell.
It's a constant battle:
Good versus Evil.

We go through so much
Pain and Heartbreak,
Joy and Excitement
But we're overwhelmed.

For every positive feeling,
There's a negative feeling.
For some of us, that
Negative becomes too powerful.

We become flooded by all
The could've, should've, would've,
The maybes and what ifs.
We forget the little things.

We lose our friends, but
Depression and Anxiety.
We feel dark and cold inside
And we isolate ourselves.

Don't get too close to us
Because we're contagious!
Every second we fade
Deeper into our minds.

We want the world to
Stop so we can relax
And clear our minds
But it just spins faster.

We become so overwhelmed
By negativity that we push
Those close to us further
Because we don't want to hurt them.

Our minds become a whirlpool,
A black hole, pulling us
Down faster and further
And there is no escape.

The only way to stop this,
In our heads, is to say
"The end"
Maybe then it will end.

But it doesn't have to end.
As writers of our lives,
We can end it
Or we can pause.

We can end it with
An "!", "?", or "."
But instead let's pause with
A semicolon.

A semicolon let us
Breathe and gather our thoughts.
It tells everyone that
It's not over yet; just paused.

As writers of our lives,
Pause and rethink our decision
Because our stories are not over yet;
There's so much more left.

Regret nothing from our past.
Rethink no decisions made
Or decisions that we didn't make.
Live in the now and for the future.

We owe it to our friends,
To our families, and
Most importantly to ourselves
To not end but pause.

We all crash and burn, and
That could be the end but
We can be the Phoenix and rise
From the ashes stronger and better.

There are times when I
Felt like giving up and saying
The end, but I remember
My friends and family and the good times.

I could've ended my story
Making it into a tragedy
But instead of ending every sentence,
I paused and carried on.

My story isn't over yet
Because there are no much
That I want to do in life:
Medical school, marriage, kids.

My story is not complete
And I don't want to
Leave a cliffhanger for
My friends, family, everyone.

Out stories are not over yet.
We have so much to live for.
We have so many goals:
Graduation, Job, Love.

Insp;re each other and
Everyone going through the same thing.
Be the warr;ors we are determined to be
And f;ght hard like your life depends on it.

Insp;re!
Be a warr;or!
F;ght on!
Our stories are not over yet.

Robert Frost said,
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood."
We have two choices.
Pick carefully; it'll make all the difference.

Pick left and end your story
With an "!", "?", or "."
Or pick right and pause
Your story with a semicolon.

**Insp;re!
Be a warr;or!
F;ght on!
Our stories are not over yet;

My life is full of
Ups and downs, and
No matter how hard I try
I get pulled back further

To the point where
I'm gonna crash and
Burn and bring everyone
And everything with me.

The pressure
The tension
The would've, should've, could've
And the ifs and maybes.

The mistakes
Of my past
And of the present.
What happen to no regrets?

Slowly my life is pulling
Me backwards and
Creating tension between
The past and present.

The further back I'm pulled,
The more I lose hold of reality.
I fight the tension; I'm gonna explode!
But I'm held in place.

I'm the Arrow
And my life's the Bow.
It pulls me back
And I'm ready to explode!

It pulls me back
Dragging me through the past
Exposing me to all
My weaknesses and strengths.

It aims me in the
Right direction.
I'm pulled back and
I'm gonna hit the intended target.

I'm the Arrow.
My life's the Bow.
It pulls me back
So I can hit my goal.