what good does it do to tell others that i want to die
does it stop the pain?
does it ease the blow?
no
i hold it close to my chest
as steady as my own heartbeat
the thoughts flow
through the veins of my very being

—
you do not belong to life
—

death has his grip on my soul
i can’t run,
i dont want to run
how do i continue when the beat of my breath is
to the rhythm of “i must die”

i dont have will to live
i see no future for myself
ill only pain those i let in
i dont know what i want
if i live i live in the torment of doubts
i cant keep friends
i cant love

for always within me is the doubt
i dont belong to life

how many shapes in the darkness take form
molding together into one shadow
fumbling, i feel the walls around me
guiding me.
begrudgingly,
i smile to my sorrow
as it takes form
in the darkness
it's walls,
guiding me.